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Why do store employees DO THIS!!!!!! - Page 7

post #121 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
First, I don't understand how "No, thanks" is offensive. Too many people out there don't know how to say no. They say yes to everything, being too afraid of what others think, trying to please every person they meet. It's sad.
I agree. But it is hard to say no, and this doesn't happen often with my children anyway. The only place I can say no to is at the bank. The girl at the bank will always ask first before giving my children lollipops and then I ask them and they almost always say 'no' on their own. They don't really care for them anyway since they never give them the flavor they would want.
post #122 of 187
I usually allow people to give my child the treat depending on what it is. USUALLY it is quarters at the grocery store so she can ride the mechanical horse.

But then dd started making bald hints in line that someone could give her quarters whenever I didn't happen to have any, so I stopped letting people give her quarters because I didn't think what she was doing was ok.

A couple of times people would try and give the quarter anyways even though I said, "no." I handed it back to them and firmly said, "I said no."


When dd was attending public school she had five students in her class with food allergies. We didn't send peanut butter even though the cafeteria didn't have a "no peanut butter/nuts" policy.

We always took a fresh fruit tray for parties since that worked with all the allergies in her class. The class parties *did* have a pretty clear no peanuts rule but people were very careless, a lot of things were not used during the parties because people didn't even attempt to avoid them.
post #123 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
Should life be that hard? No. Is it sometimes? Yep, it is.

I mean, like I said, it would be nice if everyone worried about that kind of stuff for our convenience so that we would never be put in the situation of our child being given something we don;t want them to have or could even kill them like a peanut m&m for a child with peanut allergies. But how can you make everyone care? How can you make everyone ask everytime? And should you really want that? I just don't subscribe to the mentality that because someone might have a peanut allergy that I shouldn't send my kid to school with a peanut butter sandwich, just as an example.

This is a free country and people just do not have to subscribe to your ideals. And thank God, because it means that I don't have to subscribe to theirs!

I do genuinely feel sorry for moms with kids who have severe food allergies, I really do, but it boils down to this your situation, this is your kid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama
I just think other people don't have to worry about your kids allergies, while it would be nice and convenient and I can only imagine how scary it must be as a mom to have to deal with, ultimately it is not their problem.
Really? REALLY?!? You truly believe that your kids' right to a peanut butter sandwich trumps another kids' right to attend school safely? You realize a severe food allergy can result in anaphylactic shock and KILL?!

Honest question: How would you feel if you sent your child to school with a peanut butter sandwich, and her peanut butter ended up sending a fellow student into anaphylactic shock, possibly even resulting in that childs' death? Would you feel any responsibility or guilt?

Do you even grasp how incredibly lucky you are to not have to live with the fear of severe food allergies? Is it such an outrageous request to just be considerate of other people - especially in, ya know, life threatening situations?!
post #124 of 187
I'm surprised more schools aren't nut-free. DS's is, and my older two children have nut-free zones at their school.

I really can't grasp how it could possibly be a major inconvenience to other parents b/c PBJ's are not something my kids eat very often (probably b/c I would gag eating one - so I'm not big on making them).

Related to nut allergies and the OP... even though I said it wasn't a big deal for the employee to offer candy, I have a nephew who is very allergic to peanuts and was handed a peanut m&m that sent him to the hospital. It is very scary, and I 100% agree with others that the parent's permission is a must!
post #125 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
Should life be that hard? No. Is it sometimes? Yep, it is.

I mean, like I said, it would be nice if everyone worried about that kind of stuff for our convenience so that we would never be put in the situation of our child being given something we don;t want them to have or could even kill them like a peanut m&m for a child with peanut allergies. But how can you make everyone care? How can you make everyone ask everytime? And should you really want that? I just don't subscribe to the mentality that because someone might have a peanut allergy that I shouldn't send my kid to school with a peanut butter sandwich, just as an example.

This is a free country and people just do not have to subscribe to your ideals. And thank God, because it means that I don't have to subscribe to theirs!

I do genuinely feel sorry for moms with kids who have severe food allergies, I really do, but it boils down to this your situation, this is your kid.
I am honestly curious about this. What would you have me do with my dd? She needs an education and homeschooling is NOT an option. She has to attend school. It hurts my heart to think that a parent would feel that their right to do something is more important than another child's right to live. Especially over something so simple as to keep peanuts at home when you know there is a child that is allergic to them.

As parents isnt it also our job to make sure that our kids do not do harm to other children? So in that respect it makes sense that it would be our responsibility to not send foods to school with our kids that we know could kill another child?

Maybe I did misunderstand you post though and you where trying to say something different?
post #126 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
I am honestly curious about this. What would you have me do with my dd? She needs an education and homeschooling is NOT an option. She has to attend school. It hurts my heart to think that a parent would feel that their right to do something is more important than another child's right to live. Especially over something so simple as to keep peanuts at home when you know there is a child that is allergic to them.

As parents isnt it also our job to make sure that our kids do not do harm to other children? So in that respect it makes sense that it would be our responsibility to not send foods to school with our kids that we know could kill another child?

Maybe I did misunderstand you post though and you where trying to say something different?
Me too. My dd is severely allergic. I would hate to think her life could be in danger because another parent couldn't bear to leave the peanut butter at home.
post #127 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
I agree. But it is hard to say no....
Nothing worth having or doing is easy.

As for the peanut discussion, I understand that peanut butter is inexpensive, but there are other protein sources that are not much more expensive.
post #128 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
As for the peanut discussion, I understand that peanut butter is inexpensive, but there are other protein sources that are not much more expensive.
Like what? I'm honestly curious, as I tried hard to find something, and never did. We managed, and I spent a lot more on school lunches than I could really afford, but I didn't find anything that was even comparable to peanut butter for price.
post #129 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Like what? I'm honestly curious, as I tried hard to find something, and never did. We managed, and I spent a lot more on school lunches than I could really afford, but I didn't find anything that was even comparable to peanut butter for price.
I've made homemade "hummus" from chick peas (from dry, so extremely cheap....but still cheap from canned), with just some olive oil, salt, and garlic (no sesame paste). I guess that is really just a bean dip, but it was tasty on a sandwich! That would be a lot cheaper than peanut butter.

My kids like chick peas a whole lot more than peanut butter. Lucky me!
post #130 of 187
Store employees (and doctors!) hand my dc lollipops all the time. I don't mind. I can say no if I wish. I can see being annoyed if they questioned my polite refusal.

OTOH, I will never understand people who disregard the known, dangerous allergies of other children at school (or church, or playgroup, or wherever we gather with people we know).
post #131 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by KweenKrunch View Post
To be perfectly honest, I think it is very rude to decline a gift given with good intentions. If a pharmacist (if we used one) gave my children candy that I felt was inappropriate, I would thank them for it, take the candy, and discard it out of her sight. I'd rather listen to my kids scream for it all the way home than offend someone who was trying to be kind.
I agree. It was given with good intentions.
post #132 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
I've made homemade "hummus" from chick peas (from dry, so extremely cheap....but still cheap from canned), with just some olive oil, salt, and garlic (no sesame paste). I guess that is really just a bean dip, but it was tasty on a sandwich! That would be a lot cheaper than peanut butter.

My kids like chick peas a whole lot more than peanut butter. Lucky me!
Unfortunately, I'd never heard of or made hummus when ds1 was little. I do make it now, but the only one of my kids who will touch it is ds2. DS1, dh and dd1 all strongly dislike it. I don't know if ds1 would have liked it when he was little or not, but I know one of the very few things he didn't like back then was beans (he'd had kidney beans, and some others, but I can't remember what). Even with a bit of sesame butter, it's definitely cheaper than peanut butter, though. I'll keep it in mind for ds2. He's starting preschool in a couple of weeks. While I certainly can afford peanut butter now, there's always the chance he'll have a classmate who's peanut allergic...and it never hurts to save money.
post #133 of 187
I read all 7 pages.

I think there are several points where everyone agrees:

1. giving food or candy to a child without the express permission of the parent or caregiver is just flat out wrong, dangerous, disrespectful, and should NEVER happen. Regardless of the food, nutritional value, situation, etc. This is about both safety and about respecting the parents' decisions about food.

2. Obviously offering food to a child, including asking the parent directly in front of the child, is also rude and disrespectful, because it puts the parent in a very challenging position.

3. There are ways to be respectful when someone violates polite behavior - personally, I think insulting the food proffered is rude, even if/when true. I don't think the OP did this - though saying they are a choking hazard has an implied "you moron" element, dontcha think? It all depends on tone, of course.

My oldest is sensitive to sugar and red food dyes - I KNOW what a red tootsie pop will do to him. But on occasions when I have turned down a treat for my kids and someone questions it, my response is along the lines of "Too close to dinner time", "he is sensitive to food coloring" or "we are trying to limit sugar in his diet" or some such. We also have lollipop rules - children MUST be seated while eating lollipops, so I might say "Actually, my kids are too young for lollipops without being seated."

Oh, and our church and our preschool are both nut free. I don't know about the elementary school, but many schools are going peanut free. A friend whose son has severe peanut allergy told me "if everyone around me thinks I am being a paranoid freak about his allergies, I am being just about vigilant enough."

Another reason to avoid processed foods, eh?
post #134 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by jellop View Post
Really? REALLY?!? You truly believe that your kids' right to a peanut butter sandwich trumps another kids' right to attend school safely? You realize a severe food allergy can result in anaphylactic shock and KILL?!

Honest question: How would you feel if you sent your child to school with a peanut butter sandwich, and her peanut butter ended up sending a fellow student into anaphylactic shock, possibly even resulting in that childs' death? Would you feel any responsibility or guilt?

Do you even grasp how incredibly lucky you are to not have to live with the fear of severe food allergies? Is it such an outrageous request to just be considerate of other people - especially in, ya know, life threatening situations?!
post #135 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
I am honestly curious about this. What would you have me do with my dd? She needs an education and homeschooling is NOT an option. She has to attend school. It hurts my heart to think that a parent would feel that their right to do something is more important than another child's right to live. Especially over something so simple as to keep peanuts at home when you know there is a child that is allergic to them.

As parents isnt it also our job to make sure that our kids do not do harm to other children? So in that respect it makes sense that it would be our responsibility to not send foods to school with our kids that we know could kill another child?

Maybe I did misunderstand you post though and you where trying to say something different?
I don't think you misunderstood her post, people honestly believe this, why should their child go without for someone else child's allergy.

I've seen it posted many times at MDC and at my kids school when he was younger, parents still sent kids to school with pb sandwiches so my son sat in the hallway alone because of it. (even though there was a peanut butter ban)
Some people don't care, and it makes me sick.
post #136 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by siobhang View Post
2. Obviously offering food to a child, including asking the parent directly in front of the child, is also rude and disrespectful, because it puts the parent in a very challenging position.
But really, this is life. Sometimes a parent has to say no. Is it rude and disrespectful for a playgroup parent to bring a shared snack that you don't want your dc to have? Either way, the parent just has to politely decline for their dc. On the spectrum of parenting challenges, this one doesn't rate very high for me.
post #137 of 187
I've always been seriously irked over strangers giving my kids candy without asking me first. It happens constantly! They have baskets of suckers and candy out at every shop here. Banks, post offices, stores etc. If an employee from each place gave my kid a piece of candy they wouldn't be eating anything else. And lucky me I get to have my ds mad at me for the rest of the day because I wouldn't let him have an endless supply of candy. I just wish people would get a clue and start offering apples.
post #138 of 187
Just the other day I stopped in to Fresh & Easy for groceries before we went home to make dinner. My 3 yr old was doing great even though she was hungry...we passed the demo counter on our way to the checkout.

Passing the demo counter can be a challenge for us sometimes but this time the girl has an open package of capri suns. When she sees DD she says oh would you like a capri sun? then looks at me... DOH! I mumble no thank you and try to walk faster as my DD starts to melt down. ugh

Her intentions were good and if it wasn't right before dinner I may have said yes, but only maybe. We are trying to curb the juice addiction and capri sun is just not something i would ever give my DD.

However for a moment I was really aggravated that she had to spoil our good shopping trip. But I understand why she wouldn't get why I would say no. I'm sure most parents would be delighted at something free to keep their kid happy.
post #139 of 187
Please keep in mind the UA when posting to this thread. I understand that this is a sensitive subject, especially for parents with children with food allergies, so I would like to ask everyone to keep this in mind.

Quote:
Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members.
and

Quote:
Do not post in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, name-calling, personal attack or in any way which violates the law.
post #140 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canadianmommax3 View Post
I don't think you misunderstood her post, people honestly believe this, why should their child go without for someone else child's allergy.

I've seen it posted many times at MDC and at my kids school when he was younger, parents still sent kids to school with pb sandwiches so my son sat in the hallway alone because of it. (even though there was a peanut butter ban)
Some people don't care, and it makes me sick.


That is very sad. IMO it should really be the child with PB that is separated so they can be sure they wash their hands and don't touch everything in sight. And they should send notes home reminding those that "forget" and send it anyways.
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