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Why do store employees DO THIS!!!!!! - Page 8

post #141 of 187
Sharing a story that happened just today...meant to be completely light-hearted!

DS & I stopped at a farmstand for fresh corn and a yummy pie. The place was crowded, the lines were long, and I had my hands full. DS wandered a few feet away and I was actually relieved that he wandered over to an ice cream cooler...I could keep my eyes on him and not have to worry about him trying to take a bit out of a random peach or tomato then putting it back

A teenaged employee walked over to DS, opened the cooler, and started lifting the ice cream out of the bins, saying, "Oooh, this one has M&Ms, this one is a cone, this one has chocolate, which one do you want?"

So I called over from the line (in my sweetest, most polite voice, I swear), "Oh, no thanks, he doesn't need anything..."

She whipped around, scowled at me, and actually said, "Ugh! I was just showing him."

Showing him? For what? Special torture?
I guess she's got a few years before she can join in the "people offering my kid unwanted candy" conversation.
post #142 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by moaningminny View Post
I remember working as a cashier at a local grocery store when they took away the candies and replaced them with stickers because of the negative reactions from parents.
To me that is a sad day.

My son only very occassionaly gets lolipops as a treat...but that being said it would depend on the situation at that moment. If he had been a good boy throughout the waiting process I would in turn ask him if he would like one and to remember to say thank-you. Or I would politely thank the employee and let them know that it was a nice offer but he couldn't have one today. Or I would thank them for the nice treat for him for later. Emphasizing the Later so that my son would hear. I would then pocket it and as promised the treat would appear at a later time.
post #143 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by lonegirl View Post
To me that is a sad day.
Why is it sad to get treats that all children can enjoy, rather than treats that cannot be enjoyed by children with food allergies, sensitivities, who keep kosher, are vegan, and so on? To me what's sad is telling my child 20 times a day, "No you cannot have that [enticing thing being offered that all the other children are enjoying]. You're allergic."
post #144 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post
To be honest, I'm suprised that you would be offended or upset by that.
Maybe her point was that it's better to ask the parent first if the children are allowed to have treats like that? I know that I would rather someone ask me first than automatically assume it's ok. I don't have an issue with sugar, I mean they don't get alot, but it's just polite to ask the parents first.
post #145 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
I, too, have worked too much retail to admit to (I hated it with a passion) and I just wanted to say, hoping it doesn't sound mean, that reorganizing product on shelves is your job. If you feel as a corporate employee that you have too many projects to handle that is something the store needs to solve by putting a person in charge of JUST tidying up product. 'Cause any way you slice it, you cannot expect to arrange the perfect endcap and have it still look like that an hour later. Thats just the nature of the beast, in my opinion.
Absolutely. However, in today's economy, we're lucky to have two people per shift - a manager and an associate. Period. It's one thing to fix things - it's another to have to completely reset. And honestly - adults can be just as bad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Should parents supervise their children more in a store? Definitely. They should be considerate of your work load and respectful. That is why I would take it up with corporate and ask that a policy for ill-behaved children be instituted. Sometimes it's as simple as asking the mother to notice that her child is destroying or rearranging product. We all know as mamas, sometimes we're just too overwhelmed to see.
Oh, we do ask the parent to please keep an eye on his/her child. I have stopped children from running and climbing metros and asked them where their parent is, and then taken them to the parent, explaining (to the parent) that we have a lot of products that could hurt their child so could they please make sure they stay near them. Two minutes later? Kid is back running up and down the aisles, and climbing metros.

Just this evening, I had a mother and her... 5yo (?) son in the store. She's shopping, he's running the aisles. One of my associates approached the mother and told her that her son could get hurt, and could she please make sure he stays with her. Yes, yes, sweetums come here. Five minutes later, kiddo is running the store and climbing a metro with glassware. I ask him where his mom is, bring him to her and tell her that he was climbing a metro with glassware which he could be hurt by and we'd appreciate it if she could make sure he stays with her. Five minutes later? The tinkle of broken glass, a crying child, and an angry mother wanting to know why we keep glassware within the reach of a 5yo. Now I have a pissed off customer, a crying kid (not hurt, luckily) and product I have to mark out and clean up. Ya know what? I don't care much if she wants the kid to have a lollipop or not. Stick it in your mouth, zip it, and stay with Mom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
But there needs to be a better way to handle this than anger. I get incredibly upset when I go into stores and am treated rudely because the retail people have come to hate every single customer. I worked retail many many many years and I NEVER lashed out at a customer or mistreated them. If I had a problem, I would speak to them about it. Even with corporate limitations, most stores have policies regarding proper ways to handle unruly kids. IMO, giving them a treat their parents may not approve of is not one of them.
Neither I nor my staff treat customers rudely as a rule. Like I said - *maybe* 1%, and it's not just people with kids. We don't hate every customer. In fact - we enjoy most of ours. But there are some...
post #146 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommariffic View Post
Yeah, I am a little surprised too?

I've had folks offer DD lollipops and things and I've always said thank you and just pocketed it.
my dd would NEVER let me pocket it - it would be a huge fight!

we are at our bank twice a week and the woman that we've gotten to know has a big jar of lollis on her desk that we have to walk right by. I've told her to please not offer, because i do not want to be in the position of having to deny. i guess my policy is "don't offer, don't deny" ya know? but she still offers on occasion, and when dd last went with dh (which never happens) she gave her TWO!! what i want to know is why dh didnt say, one is enough, thanks! I'm with the OP, who by the way I do not think sounded outraged, just annoyed. I do not like to feel like my decisions regarding my kids eating habits (at the young age of 3) are not considered. That being said, I know the intention is well-meant.
post #147 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Like what? I'm honestly curious, as I tried hard to find something, and never did. We managed, and I spent a lot more on school lunches than I could really afford, but I didn't find anything that was even comparable to peanut butter for price.
Someone already mentioned hummus.

Yogurt. Hard-boiled egg. Cheese.

A large carton of yogurt does not cost that much more than a jar of peanut butter, IME. Portion it out in small containers. A block of cheese can be sliced thin and made into a sandwich, or cut into cubes and served with fruit and bread or crackers.
post #148 of 187
I have to run interference like that all the time. I am lucky, though...most times the store clerks are polite enough to ask ME if they can give my child a lollipop.

And I say no, but thank you for asking. They really think they are being kind, and I appreciate that.

But if anyone tries to offer my child something directly without going through me, that REALLY ticks me off, because that's just rude. And of course the average kid will probably take it (though my 6-yr old HAS been known to say things like "no, I can't have hard candy" or "that's really bad for my teeth!" or "does THAT have High Fructose Corn Syrup in it?") :-)

But seriously, if a child has never HAD hard candy or lollipops, they don't feel deprived. So the people who look at you like you're crazy clearly don't get that part. Just because tooth-rotting, artificially-colored cr*p is a regular part of some kids' diets, it's not part of EVERY kid's diet. And kids who don't have that every day certainly don't miss it. That goes with all treats, really. So at age 6 mine has never had a hard candy or lollipop, and he doesn't care.

For me, it just used to be about the sticky candy coating that winds up on their teeth all day until they can brush. It is this which makes me want to say "OK" now and then, especially if a friend is offering it. But now that I've read about 6 out of 7 artifical food colorings used in the US being banned in European countries due to their carcinogenic or other properties, we're even LESS likely to want to jump on that bandwagon.

(We've recently discovered Xylitol gum from the health food store.....all other "mainstream" gums have either sugar, artificial colors, or both.)

[You can probably tell we are homeschooled....I can only imagine the staggering pressure to eat cr*p that a child must face in the school environment.]

There is another side to this. I have always told my child not to accept gifts or treats from strangers. There's a good reason for that! I tell him that grownups should know to ask the mama before giving you something. My reasoning there is when they're in the park and some perv drives up in a car waving a box of candy and saying "come here little boy", I want the "Gotta ask Mama" rule to kick in IMMEDIATELY without 2nd thoughts or debate. Now, obviously the clerk in the store is different, Mama is right there, etc. so the kid can feel that the clerk has some legitimacy, but still.....I really think the no gifts & candy from strangers without asking Mama first is a really good rule, whether Mom is nearby or not.

It's tricky. Moms who care what goes into their kids have a nearly impossible job in this culture. However, a little respect goes a long way when dealing with other peoples' children.
post #149 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
I really can't grasp how it could possibly be a major inconvenience to other parents b/c PBJ's are not something my kids eat very often (probably b/c I would gag eating one - so I'm not big on making them).
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
Someone already mentioned hummus.

Yogurt. Hard-boiled egg. Cheese.
My ds eats a peanut butter sandwich in his lunchbox almost every day. Why? Because it's pretty much the only thing he'll eat. He has autism and many food issues. He wouldn't touch hummus. Or an egg. Cheese has to be a certain way and, once it sits in his lunchbox, it isn't the way he'll eat it so that goes wasted too. Yogurt is hit and miss. He'll eat it maybe once a week and never in his lunchbox. It has to be at home where I'll spoon feed it to him (rarely he'll feed himself or he'll suck it up with a straw). Any more ideas? Because as hard as I've tried, peanut butter is a staple at our house. Without it, he wouldn't come anywhere near close to enough protein.

All this to say.... I'm extremely glad there are no peanut allergic kiddos in ds's class. If there were, ds's nutrition would be in big trouble (it already is so any loss of food is a big hit). Of course I wouldn't want any other child to suffer because ds had a peanut butter sandwich. But I don't want ds to suffer either.
post #150 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
Someone already mentioned hummus.

Yogurt. Hard-boiled egg. Cheese.

A large carton of yogurt does not cost that much more than a jar of peanut butter, IME. Portion it out in small containers. A block of cheese can be sliced thin and made into a sandwich, or cut into cubes and served with fruit and bread or crackers.
Okay. I was broke. I could give ds1 at least a month of peanut butter for about $6.00-$6.50 at that time, and I paid $0.89 for a loaf of bread that would last him at least a week. I have no idea what size carton of yogurt you're talking about, but it was $2.50 for a carton that he could go through in 3-4 days, if he were taking it for lunch. (I bought small containers when they were on sale, and he took those with a sandwich. DS1 was terrible for losing stuff when he was little, and sending my own containers ended up being way more expensive and wasteful.) Cheese was more expensive than peanut butter, and he'd have tried to trade a cheese only sandwich for something with another kid, anyway. We did egg salad sometimes, but it was more expensive than peanut butter. He still (he's 16) won't eat a plain hard-boiled egg. He can't stand them.

Believe me, I broke all this stuff down by the penny, and peanut butter was by far the cheapest way to get protein into him at lunch. We worked around it, because obviously I didn't want V to go into anaphylactic shock! But, it can be hard to take listening to the myriad comments about other people being unwilling to give up something as "minor" as PB&J sandwiches. Sometimes, people aren't behaving in as spoiled a fashion as it might seem - avoiding PB for ds1 put a significant extra financial strain on us for a couple of years.

All that being said, ds1 had more than one birthday party with three guests (2 school friends and his cousin) who have peanut allergies. This is definitely something I'm used to paying attention to. My mom also does two versions of a couple baked items at Christmas, and uses food colouring to mark which version is nut-free.
post #151 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Believe me, I broke all this stuff down by the penny, and peanut butter was by far the cheapest way to get protein into him at lunch. We worked around it, because obviously I didn't want V to go into anaphylactic shock! But, it can be hard to take listening to the myriad comments about other people being unwilling to give up something as "minor" as PB&J sandwiches. Sometimes, people aren't behaving in as spoiled a fashion as it might seem - avoiding PB for ds1 put a significant extra financial strain on us for a couple of years.
You realize that those "myriad comments" are because our children could DIE, right?
post #152 of 187
StephandOwen, have you tried Sunbutter?

Lisa, sorry if it sounded harsh to say I don't get the inconvenience - it's just that I don't b/c I don't like pbj's and as a result they have never been something my kids ate very often. I DO know what it's like to have to make $ stretch, believe me. When we were struggling I signed up for free/reduced lunch and my kid happily ate that... I know parents complain about the quality of school lunches but unless a kid is super picky and won't eat it, I don't think pbj's every day are any healthier. I'm sure I'd feel differently in someone else's shoes - if it was my kid who would only eat pbj's, though
post #153 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by suebee79 View Post
You realize that those "myriad comments" are because our children could DIE, right?
Have you read anything I posted? Anything at all? Yes - I get it. My niece has come very close to dying, and probably would have if the incident hadn't happened when she was already in an ER. I know about the fear that a child could die - believe me, I know. However, I don't believe that a fear that your child could die entitles one to shrug every other problem other people have as an "inconvenience". DS1 didn't take peanut butter (or peanuts, or any product that contained peanuts) to school ever after we got the notice, but the hassle and financial stress involved went considerably beyond inconvenience. (FWIW, I've also heard two women with peanut allergic kids comment that they really wish they could feed their kids peanuts, because of the financial side of things. They don't like the "inconvenience", either...and their own children could die.)

I still don't understand why ds1's school couldn't have had a "peanut room" and required hand washing before the kids left to rejoin their classmates, which is what I was originally talking about.
post #154 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
When we were struggling I signed up for free/reduced lunch and my kid happily ate that... I know parents complain about the quality of school lunches but unless a kid is super picky and won't eat it, I don't think pbj's every day are any healthier.
We don't have school lunches here, reduced or otherwise. There's a cafeteria in high school (8-12), but elementary students (K-7) have to brown bag it. I had no idea what "reduced lunch" even meant until met dh. I'd come across it in books a few times, but the context didn't give me enough clues, and I'd always just assumed it was some sort of American or regional term for taking smaller lunches.
post #155 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
Any more ideas? Because as hard as I've tried, peanut butter is a staple at our house. Without it, he wouldn't come anywhere near close to enough protein.
meats?
post #156 of 187
There are definatly ways around the peanut issue at school. I would imagine if it where done correctly the child bringing the peanut butter would feel special eating in a special room. Of course they would need to put other kids who didnt have problems with PB as well in there with him/her because no one would feel special all alone. I dont think the ana child with the allergy should be made to go in the room though my reason for this is because they already feel different and seperating them from others would just make them feel even more so.

But you have to keep in mind some ana kids even being in the same room with a lunch bag that has pb in it is enough to cause a ana reaction that is where the problem is the most difficult to solve. Even being on a bus with someone with a pb sandwich would pose a life threatening risk for some kids.

Odds are though that no one would bring pb every single day (baring people like the pp who talked about her ds who only ate pb).

I think there can be a way to work around the issue if everyone cooperates. But if you have people that dont care that makes it impossible. I fear there would be someone who would not agree for their child to eat in a different place just because they dont understand the severity of a peanut allergy. That is where education comes in and something the school should make an effort to do so that there is no misunderstanding about the possible deadly consequences of pb for and ana child.
post #157 of 187
Whenever I've wanted to offer something to a child, I'm often torn between a)Acknowledgeing the parent's authority and b)treating the kid with respect for their own autonomy. It's a judgement call based on the child's age and what the offer is - seems like whenever someone makes what seems like a bad call, I think they just calculated these two things differently than you would.
post #158 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
I fear there would be someone who would not agree for their child to eat in a different place just because they dont understand the severity of a peanut allergy. That is where education comes in and something the school should make an effort to do so that there is no misunderstanding about the possible deadly consequences of pb for and ana child.
This is so true. When the notice came home that ds1's classroom was peanut-free, due to a child with an allergy, there was no information about how serious such an allergy is. I knew, because of my niece, but I know some of the other parents had no idea.

And, I totally agree with this, although I hadn't thought of it from that side until this thread:
Quote:
I dont think the ana child with the allergy should be made to go in the room though my reason for this is because they already feel different and seperating them from others would just make them feel even more so.
post #159 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
We don't have school lunches here, reduced or otherwise.
Well, that stinks. I know people complain about the quality of school lunches in the US, but free/reduced school lunches for families who need them are a wonderful thing, imo.
post #160 of 187
A woman at church was very upset that she couldnt send pb to school with her kids because the kid would get in trouble. It didnt seem to matter to her that there was a child in the school who was severly allergic to the point of entering a room where pb had been in the last 24 hours would send him into anaphalaxis

She just couldnt grasp the concept.
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