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Why do store employees DO THIS!!!!!! - Page 4

post #61 of 187
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Probably -- I was fairly appalled when it happened. I could even see how it was wet on the edges where she'd bitten it -- blughhhhh. But I still managed to smile and murmur a, "No thanks, I'll get him one of his own."

Ugh! That is just nasty not to mention weird. How old was your son? Did the woman work at the store??
post #62 of 187
I'd go back and thank the woman for trying and suggest that she offer a sticker or something instead.

I'm astounded at all the people who think it's okay to offer a kid food without checking with the parents first.

What if the kids were acting up because it was almost nap time and now they're going to have a sugar rush and stay up and be even more cranky? What if one of them were allergic to corn by products or red dye? What if the kid just wouldn't finish the sucker before getting to the car and mom's left with a choice between a screaming fit, sitting around waiting for the kid to finish, and a huge sticky mess in the car seat?
post #63 of 187
Originally Posted by Jackpackbaby View Post
I'm not. I detest when people do that. What if the child has an allergy or sensitivity (as mine does)? I understand that they are trying to be nice but there has to be some common sense. We no longer live in a world where you can just haul off and give someone's child things without a thought. Besides, then we end up looking like the bad guys for not allowing it. Most people ask me sotto voce if they can give my kids a lollipop/cookie etc.. so my kids don't hear the request. If I say no thank you they are fine with it. I appreciate people like that.
That's what people did with my parents when I was a kid, so the world of just giving kids things without a thought hasn't been around for at least 25 years now.
post #64 of 187
Originally Posted by Norasmomma View Post
I guess I just have bigger stuff to worry about.
What do you mean by that?
post #65 of 187
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
Then she looked pointedly at me and said, "I'm telling THEM so now you HAVE to take them."
When you saw her again, and you had the balloons but no cookies, you did tell the kids that you didn't get cookies because of "that lady right there", yes?? :
post #66 of 187
Originally Posted by secondseconds View Post
Would it have been that hard to just accept them, say "Thanks, we'll save these treats for later" and stick them in your purse? You could have thrown them away eventually. Your response seems a tad immature. You don't have to proclaim your stance on nutrition to every well intentioned and kind stranger.
Would it have been that hard for the woman to just accept having the candy politely declined? Her response of "why not?" was very very immature. She didn't have to question the decision of a busy and leaving stranger.
post #67 of 187
Originally Posted by ~LadyBug~ View Post
I heard an employee say "Hey girls I have something sweet for ya" Two Tootsie Pops! I politely told her they were not allowed to have them and began to leave when she asked why. I almost said "Because I am their mother and I said so!" but I didn't want my girls hearing me talking like that so I said "Because they are a choking hazard and I don't allow my children to have sweet processed sugars like that." She looked at me like I was speaking Latin. Now, my girls did not throw a fit wanting the candy but I was still very annoyed. Why do people question stuff like that? Why would they just offer THEM without asking ME first? I know, I know it was to be "nice" and "friendly" and all that garbage, but it just gets to me. Sorry for the rant.

I can totally see why you were upset!! I would be too. Luckily I have never been in that situation, every place I have been to that offers my kiddos candy has asked me first, being very discreet or using code-type language. I usually allow my kids to have the treats they are offered. But Tootsie Pops are HUGE!!! My nearly 4 year old has still never had a sucker that big and he certainly wouldn't need one in the middle of the day while we were out running errands.

There are so many reasons why I wouldn't want the treat. Maybe it was almost naptime! Or we just stopped at the store on the way home from the ice cream shop! Or we were on our way somewhere else and gosh, I didn't want my kids to be smeared head to toe in sticky purple sucker.

The thing is, even by holding up the candy and saying, "Can your kids have these big ol' honking suckers?" it would be setting me up for a couple of tantrums. My kids love candy and sugar and my ds would totally freak if someone offered him a sucker in front of his face and I said no. So suddenly I'm the bad guy. KWIM? Ugh.
post #68 of 187
I got the impression that maybe the clerk was trying to distract your little ones from messing up the meds? Maybe she thought candy was the fastest way to get their attention away from their boredom. It sounded like she had good intentions.
post #69 of 187
I've had complete strangers offer my children candy from out of their pocket when in a store or some place. I don't like it either but once they show it to them usually they want it and there's no way I can say no. So you did good.

A couple of months ago an elderly man walked up to my DD and I in a grocery store and he gave my DD a $1 bill for absolutely no other reason than the fact that he said she was well behaved and that she smiled at him. I thought it was soooo sweet. He made her day! She told everybody about that man giving her a dollar and wanted to put it up and never spend it.
post #70 of 187
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I've turned down offers like this many times. I'm polite about it. If someone is offended when a random stranger politely refuses an offer of candy made to their children, I think they need to rethink their view of things a little bit.
I agree with this. The store employee probably saw you having a tough time and offered a treat to your kids because treats while shopping tend to make shopping a much funner experience for everyone in the store. This is why Albertson's has been giving kids a cookie at the bakery since before I was born and I really hope they never stop.
post #71 of 187
I hate when ANYONE offers my child junk food without asking me. I even hate it when they do ask me but do so in front of DS. We are not junk-food free, but I do try to keep his intake reasonable. Plus, there are LOTS of reasons why I might not want him to have 'xyz' at a particular time. Like lots of sugar before nap time. Or if it's messy. Like the store employee who handed him a melting popcycle right before we got into the car. I know I can refuse, but it only creates a nightmare scenario for me with an upset child. My MIL does this on purpose. She is always trying to cram DS full of garbage and she'll dangle whatever-it-is in front of DS's face while sweetly asking, "Mom, can he have this?" AAAHHH

Sorry, OP - your post must have touched a nerve... FWIW, I think you dealt with the situation as best as you could under the (crappy) circumstances.
post #72 of 187
I hate when people offer my kids (DD mostly, as she's older and knows what's going on) food treats without asking me discreetly first. The ladies who cut DD's hair are great--they always ask quietly, "Can she have a lollipop?" The answer is usually yes. But sometimes I may not want her to have something--as PPs have said, she might have just had something else sugary, or we might be just about to have dinner, or for whatever reason it just might not be the right time for her to have a cookie/lollipop/piece of candy. In any case, it's totally inappropriate for someone who's not my child's parent to offer my child food without asking me first, and pretty crappy to put me in the position of having to say no and then be the bad guy.

This happened once in the grocery store. DD decided to pitch a tantrum as we were checking out, and one of the checkout ladies asked me very loudly, clearly intended for her to hear, "Does she want a cookie?" I said no, she doesn't get rewarded for tantrums with cookies. Of course, the tantrum then became about, "But I WAAAANNNTTT A COOOOKIEEEE!!!!"

Another cashier rolled her eyes at her colleague and said, "I told you not to do that."
post #73 of 187
thankfully, around here, they generally whisper "can he have a sucker?" and we often say no (although he knows which stores offer them now and we usually tell him ahead of time whether or not he is allowed to get one. he's good about accepting whatever we say about it.) the people who give us a dirty look when we say no really irk me. like not letting him have a sucker is so horrible or something. it's not like i deprived him of dinner!
post #74 of 187
Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post
What drives me wild is when people SPELL things or WHISPER things to me. Argh! We don't ever spell things in front of our kids. Never. I HATE that. It's rude and condescending and unfair to play on the fact that the kids don't have the ability to spell yet. It really irritates me more than it should when people whisper "can the kids have a l-o-l-l-i-p....." "Yes, yes, yes," I always interrupt (rudely). "They can have whatever."
Oh goodness -- they're darned if they do and darned if they don't! So many people have said they wish the clerks would discreetly ask the parent first, but now that's offensive too. I can see your point on the spelling, but how else besides whispering are they supposed to discreetly ask the parent? They could gesture, if they're able to without the kid seeing, but IMO that falls into the same category as whispering -- communicating with the caregiver in a concealed manner.
post #75 of 187
Originally Posted by Jackpackbaby View Post
Ugh! That is just nasty not to mention weird. How old was your son? Did the woman work at the store??
He was a young 3 at the time. No, the woman didn't work there, and I think she realized that her offer was inappropriate right after she made it. She looked down at the cookie at the same time I did and kind of laughed nervously and pulled it back toward herself. I think she just thought my DS was cute and wanted to give him something to make him happy, and that's what she happened to be holding. She was a sweet lady, she just made an odd social gesture.
post #76 of 187
When I was a Nanny we visited Gram at the Senior Center for lunch one afternoon. Nanette was 2. All of the older ladies kept trying to give her dollar bills because she was cute. It took me by surprise and it was a very uncomfortable situation for me to be in and I kept politely declining while being totally stunned because I have never seen that before. Nanette kept whispering "Why are they giving me monies?" ETA: After reading the other thread I know feel bad for not letting her keep the dollars as I probably offended the ladies indirectly Leave and learn I guess! When I have my own kids I wont refuse any dollars

Anyhow, as a teacher with many students with allergies, I never offer any food item to anyone's child. If I want to do a special treat with food- which is rare because I don't believe in using food as a reward, but if I want to make something for a holiday, etc- I always ask the parent privatly first.

I would have just said "Thanks for offering, but they are a bit too young for lollipops." And they are for that type, IMO. Unless you are like on top of them to supervise. And I would have just kept on.
post #77 of 187
Originally Posted by ~LadyBug~ View Post
Yeah that is VERY annoying...especially when they misspell the word they are trying to spell
One of the other teachers in my building came to my room one day and she said "Are you going to let your kids watch a m-o-v-i-e on Friday?" Without missing a beat one of my 5 year olds said "You know that most of us can spell movie, right? " I laughed so hard! It annoys me when people spell things out or assume children are stupid. My students are smarter than a lot of adults that I know, actually!
post #78 of 187
Originally Posted by Bunnyflakes View Post
One of the other teachers in my building came to my room one day and she said "Are you going to let your kids watch a m-o-v-i-e on Friday?" Without missing a beat one of my 5 year olds said "You know that most of us can spell movie, right? " I laughed so hard! It annoys me when people spell things out or assume children are stupid. My students are smarter than a lot of adults that I know, actually!
Spelling things out has nothing to do with thinking they're stupid. Knowing how to spell and being intelligent aren't the same thing.

I have no problem with people spelling stuff to me, so that the kids don't understand. DH and I do that ourselves. I suspect that it's only going to work with dd1 for a few more months, though. Then, I can switch to Pig Latin, and see if she cracks it as fast as we did.

And, a kind of funny riff on the spelling thing. A couple of years ago, my mom spelled something out in front of her stepson. He was about 29 or 30 at the time. We still laugh about it, although I can't remember what it was she spelled.
post #79 of 187
In our area, no one offers any type of treats except the bank tellers and the Doctor's Office. But I agree people should be polite before offering a child a treat and check with the parents first to make sure it's ok. I might be a little annoyed but not much, because it's not a huge deal to us.
post #80 of 187
Originally Posted by mirlee View Post
What if the child is allergic to wheat, dairy, eggs, whatever? What if I don't happen to have my Epi-pen with me?
If you have that kid and don't have that epi-pen then yeah you'd have much bigger problems.
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