I'm a flip-flopper!

[AngelBee]

Seriously...I can not seem to stick with any sort of homeschooling plan. First, we were unschoolers. Meeting Sandra Dodd and her daughter Holly was great! Was feeling free and artsy. Then I started feeling unmotivated and it all lost its magic. We were having some behavior issues. I was pregnant and feeling out of control.

I found Charlotte Mason and fell in love Nature, good books, tea time......beautiful! Except my kids won't sit still and listen to a reading. Also I hate being outside :

Waldorf....except creeped out by the price of the "cool" stuff and some of the Spiritual Science stuff.

Heard a little more about Classic Education. I was craving structure and felt that the kids may thrive better that way. Well... : I do not even understand the trivium! :

Found Heart of Wisdom and it made sooooo much sense! But you have to still lay it out kind of. SUPER Bible based which I love!

Then there are workboxes which I think could save me a lot of time.

I feel so :

Anyone else?

Homeschooling 5 kids is really all encompassing. i know some think the little ones are not homeschooled....well......tell them that! They expect all the same time and fun stuff to work on.

I just can not seem to stick with anything long enough to make it work.

Any wise words or advice? Anyone in the same place?

[LionTigerBear]

I recommend starting at the end. That is, what is your desired goal? What is your desired goal as a family, and, individually for each child? For instance, as a family, I want us to focus on preparedness skills like camping/scouting, speaking other languages well enough to use them, that sort of thing. (I have them all written down.) Then, for each child, I also keep track of what their interests are at the moment and where I see them going with their life. This picture is constantly evolving.

Then figure out which, if any, "subjects" you want to focus on to achieve your desired goals. You don't need to stick to the traditional subjects of "math" "art" "language arts" etc etc. Just, what makes sense to you for your family. At this point you could decide that you want to go back to unschooling. If you unschool, you can choose several different methods-- for instance, you could use the workbox system, and, based on things that seem interesting to the children and things they have been pursuing, set up some workboxes that they could explore. Set up some field trip days, too.

Or, you may decide that after you look at your goals and your children's personalities, another system like Charlotte Mason or Thomas Jefferson Education or Well-Trained Mind or whatever, works best for you. Remember you can take what you like best from several methods and combine them! You don't have to follow a method exactly as prescribed! (You can poke around in the eclectic thread for more examples of this! That's what I do!)

But basically, you need to have a focus, a life or family theme that you are working around, a grand goal. And, besides the family-wide goal, an indivual set of goals for each child which are open to evolution. This is what will help you know what method (or not) to pick for homeschooling. HTH!

[greenthumb3]

I am still in this process myself, though unschooling mainly, but it sounds to me that you are still finding your groove, more than flip flopping, which to me is part of the natural pattern of "finding what works" and leaving the rest. Most people go in and out of rhetoric and philosophies, trying to understand them in the context of their real lives and give them a chance to see how it really works or doesn't. Coming back again and re-trying something, to me, is very scientific! We learn something new every time we look at it, b/c we bring new eyes to it b/c of past experiences (A more positive spin on things)

Who knows, perhaps you, too, will be a proud member of "Tidal Homeschooling"? (A Mom's blog who uses parts and pieces of unschooling, CM, and other "schools" of home school thought). Or as David Albert says, (paraphrasing very loosely) by doing a lot of watching our kids and listening and patience, you'll all come to find what will work (most of the time). FWIW, he doesn't use the term unschooling, as he pointed out, John Holt used the terms homeschooling and unschooling interchangeably.

I say, don't worry about finding what to call your style of learning/education; have fun, learn stuff, and grow. That is working for us right now. (Working is a loose term: life is fluid or organic=always changing, homeschooling is also) Good luck

[mommy2abigail]

Hey, you're eclectic!! No, seriously, we go through phases too. And I don't have 5 kids to home school (yet!) I think it's a natural process of being in tune to your children and your changing needs and where everyone is in their 'path' at the moment. Sometimes we are very scheduled and structured, sometimes we don't know what we are doing at all for the week, or even for the next hour! We alternate between CM- loving the notebooking, literature and short lessons and avoiding the 100 degree FL heat, and unschooling-letting our passion be our guide, but needing some discipline and structure, unit studies-following our rabbit trails where ever they take up, getting engrossed in a subject/book/idea for as long as we want, but also wanting to have everything in sequential order, and classic-knowing that their minds are sponges, filling them with amazing knowledge, but not wanting to learn Latin or really understanding the trivium myself!

I have finally come to accept the fact that I am too ocd and add to stick to any one thing. To borrow a quote from a good friend, "The only thing I've ever stuck to is dh and dc."

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by mommy2abigail

Hey, you're eclectic!! No, seriously, we go through phases too.

Yep. Eclectic. Take the best of all you like and create your own! We flip-flop through soooo much - we've done workboxes (before I knew that's what they were!), Montessori, Classical, are child led on some parts, like unit studies...we take a little from each, throw in The Kid's own style and my patience level and whatever comes out of the pot is what we are.

Nobody says you have to stick to someone else's plan. The best part of homeschooling is having education such a personal part of our lives - we've got the freedom to do whatever we like and however we want.

[LionTigerBear]

Others will disagree, but I do think that it is important to stick with one general philosophy or system of learning (which can be eclectic!) throughout your children's education-at-home years. My own experience with homeschooling was of my mom doing the flip-flopping from one system or philosophy to another and I found it, as a child, very unsettling and uncomfortable. I wish she has picked something that worked well for us and stuck with it. Or picked two things or three things, whatever, but I think once you choose something you like, try to stick it out. Consistency is nice for the kids and I think it makes learning easier for them. It builds security so that they can pursue their interests. I think at some point when I was 11 or 12 or so I just shut down and stopped even trying to learn. I felt like, what was the point? As soon as I felt like I knew what was going on and was making progress, my mom would switch up the game plan on me and I'd have to figure out a new system.

Hmm, let's see, she started out Waldorf and Oak Meadow. Then she switched to unit studies, plus Saxon Math. At this point I was still okay with everything, because we hadn't switched too much and Oak Meadow wasn't a good fit for me, anyway. But then she switched to a boxed curriculum, with supplementing, still using Saxon Math which math system, was, ironically, my least favorite part of our previous homeschool method. I liked the new textbooks, but it was disconcerting switching everything again. I felt like my mom didn't know what she was doing, or maybe I was doing something wrong. It was just uncomfortable to change again. But I rolled with it. then she switched to ANOTHER different curriculum, and also was kind of getting into Charlotte Mason which she worked in with it, as well. I have nothing against Charlotte Mason, but at that point it was just kind of annoying. I do remember feeling angry and resentful. Sigh. She didn't stop switching, she went to Classical next, I think. I really got into Latin and wanted to take another year of Latin, but too bad for me-- my mom had moved on to another method, an umbrella school. Latin was not on the menu. But I didn't care anymore. I tuned out at home. Eventually I left home when I was 16 and started going to public school.

Now, there was a lot of other negative stuff going on at my house, just an unhappy dysfunctional family, mostly. A big factor was that whether I liked something or not, or was interested in something or not, was never taken into consideration. It was all about my mom and what she liked and what she thought was "the best way". (Grr.) But I think with a mom like mine who struggled with depression and anxiety (as I have also, as a parent-- I get that--) it is easy to chase the grass-is-greener idea, rather than realizing that there are many good ways to homeschool, and the kids would probably thrive or do just fine in several of them! there is no "one good way" or one "best way for everyone". So, it's okay to relax and trust your choices.

I don't want to make anyone feel bad or say they are like my mom in this instance, because obviously there was a lot going on there-- but , I just wanted to gently say, I think it's nice for the kids, if, once you pick something, some kind of system that you like, (which can be a conglomeration to pretty much stick with that (within reason, of course the kids' needs will change as they grow) and not keep changing everything several times based on chasing perfection.

[pageta]

I'm going to suggest that perhaps the problem isn't so much the homeschooling method you're following but rather finding a routine that works for you. Everything sounds great when you read things about it written by people who love it. But actually doing it can sometimes be a completely different story.

I would suggest starting with a core. For us it is the three R's - reading, writing and arithmatic. Once I got each of those going, one by one, I've added other things in the mix, like history, geography, science, poetry, etc. But I fit them into our routine, one at a time.

I also have tweaked my own planning as we've gone along. We started out just doing the next lesson, reading the next story, learning the next letter, in our basics. But as I added the other things, I started to get overwhelmed. So I started keeping a log of things we were doing every day so I could see the progress we're making. My next plan is to make an outline of goals for each subject so I can see where I am going with everything. I've also broken off the history/geography, science, poetry(?), literature and other mainly read-alouds into a story time in the morning. Then we'll do our core in the afternoon. Two short sessions seem to work better than one longer session while my toddler (who takes naps but then doesn't go to bed very well at night) takes his nap.

But the different ways of planning and working it all into a routine that works for us is what keeps me going with what I've selected. If something doesn't work (like nature study when you don't like to be outside), you might try find a way to enjoy nature study without going outside (little books from the library and trips outside once a month, maybe) rather than dumping the entire Charlotte Mason approach. Our baseline is classical, but I do use a few Charlotte Mason things because they just work very well for us (mainly the short lessons and emphasis on living books)...and I must confess I'm not keen on the nature walks either (I hate bugs!). Our science is done mainly with checking out books from the library (doing biology this year a la trivium), but I have seen an idea here and there from Charlotte Mason that has enriched out science and brought it outside where we do actual things rather than just reading little books.

Again, I would suggest starting with one subject at a time, find something that works well for you, then don't be afraid to fine-tune it. You don't have to follow one method completely, but try to fine-tune individual subjects rather than throwing everything out and starting over. It will be easier on you, too, I think.

[FillingMyQuiver]

I can only comment on what I have experience w/. But we have 4 kids, 2 who are too young for formal schooling yet, but will eventually. We are a Christian family looking to have the Bible and Christ be the center of our education. We have the desire to teach in a somewhat structured manner w/ the ability to be "loose" when we want to be. Sounds a little like you, too.

We found a good fit in The Weaver Curriculum, now put out by Alpha Omega. It loosely follows a classical education approach using unit studies. It's Bible centered and geared towards families w/ multiple children.

We are eclectic homeschoolers, though, b/c we add some Waldorf-inspired aspects to our day and I try to incorporate a rhythm into our days/ seasons/ year. I also like Charlotte Mason and will be looking into incorporating some of her readings into our schooling.

I understand where you are. My point came when I decided to pick a "core" curriculum for us and supplement w/ everything else I like, but to stick to the core.

[dotnetdiva]

No worries, you're eclectic! So are we, even though it sometimes seems we are only classical homeschoolers. We incorporate what we like best from every style, and leave out what we don't like.

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by LionTigerBear

Others will disagree, but I do think that it is important to stick with one general philosophy or system of learning (which can be eclectic!) throughout your children's education-at-home years. My own experience with homeschooling was of my mom doing the flip-flopping from one system or philosophy to another and I found it, as a child, very unsettling and uncomfortable. I wish she has picked something that worked well for us and stuck with it. Or picked two things or three things, whatever, but I think once you choose something you like, try to stick it out. Consistency is nice for the kids and I think it makes learning easier for them. It builds security so that they can pursue their interests. I think at some point when I was 11 or 12 or so I just shut down and stopped even trying to learn. I felt like, what was the point? As soon as I felt like I knew what was going on and was making progress, my mom would switch up the game plan on me and I'd have to figure out a new system.

I basically agree with this.

I think it is best if you can pick a method (or go eclectic -which I do not see as flip flopping but as cobbling together the best of many worlds) and go with it - it will be easier on you and the kids.

That being said - I love reading about other methods. While I would consider us on the USing spectrum, I have read and learned from a variety of methods. I just keep these reading to myself or gently incorporate the best of them into our way of doing things.

Kathy

[Ruthla]

LionTigerBear- I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. But it really does sound to me like the main problem wasn't the fact that your mom kept switching plans, but that she didn't include you in the process at all. She could have continued using what you enjoyed and worked for you, while switching the littles to something else. She could have done Latin outside of the "new boxed curriculum" if that's what you wanted to learn.

IMO, the key to sucessful homeschooling is listening to your kids, and doing your best to tailor the learning to their individual needs.

AngelBee- if your older kids are complaining about the lack of continuity, then listen to them. If they're upset about changing math textbooks, then go ahead and order this grade level of the math text they liked last year (at least for the individual child who's complaining.) But if they're not upset about the switching around, then you're doing just fine.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by pageta

I'm going to suggest that perhaps the problem isn't so much the homeschooling method you're following but rather finding a routine that works for you. Everything sounds great when you read things about it written by people who love it. But actually doing it can sometimes be a completely different story.

I would suggest starting with a core. For us it is the three R's - reading, writing and arithmatic. Once I got each of those going, one by one, I've added other things in the mix, like history, geography, science, poetry, etc. But I fit them into our routine, one at a time.

: I totally agree with this.

I always say that if my children get in reading, writing and math every day then we are doing just what I want them to do and if they do nothing else the rest of the day then we're fine. Ofcourse we do other things each day for the most part, but if we couldn't for some reason I'd be happy with reading, writing and math.

I haven't done a lot of changing around with curriculums over the years but I have tried new stuff from different companies here and there at times but only because my child wasn't thriving or learning well with the current curriculum we were using. I never just switched things up for no reason at all. I wouldn't do that. If something is working then we don't change it. There has to be a real reason why I will totally change from one thing to another before I will try something new with my children. And I've always considered myself eclectic and I prefer non-religious curriculum even though we are a Christian family. There are a couple of companies we use (Horizons and SOS are two big ones) that we absolutely love! but I prefer to use companies like Evan-Moor, Steck Vaughn...etc., because it seems to work best in our house.

.

[elizawill]

hi angelbee,

i agree with others. you're just finding your groove and rhythm.

it's our first week back to "school", and i have already tweaked and rearranged, dropped & added to our schedule and curriculum (i'm certain i'm not done either, lol). every year i do this to best meet my children's needs and desires. i imagine you aren't "flip flopping" for the fun of it, but more-so because you are trying to take a method, philosophy, and/or curriculum and weave it into your daily life in a tangible way that actually benefits your children. that usually requires all kinds of alterations, ykwim? honestly, you just can't know how something on paper is going to translate to your lives unless you try it....then tweak it....perfect it. with 5 children, you have a lot to consider. however, once you find what works - don't stop using it because of self-doubt (not sure if you've done that). i have fallen into that trap before though. for example, my kids love picture books. i mean, they really enjoy them. a few times i have stopped using them as the base of our curriculum....i'll let self-doubt creep in and question how thorough or effective they are....i do the forbidden "comparison" of other kids and then find myself buying latin curriculum or something, lol. i can't do that anymore though because when i try to make something work for my kids just because "everyone else is doing it" is honestly when i feel most lost. i already know what direction to take, and as we move through the year, i'll adjust it as needed. that's not to say we won't try new things or curricula (of course we will)....but i do so now with my kids at the forefront of my thoughts & allow their interests to navigate my decisions. anyway...it will all come together for you!!! i know you've been reading and researching a lot lately, and it's hard because everything looks so appealing (believe me I know!!!). try to sit down and write out your goals on one side & on the other side make a small list for each child of how they seem to best learn & what they love. then pray. i know you are trying to lean more on God right now, so let Him guide you to the perfect place.

hugs to you!

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by elizawill

try to sit down and write out your goals on one side & on the other side make a small list for each child of how they seem to best learn & what they love.

That's the scene I'd pictured too. I'd try to forget about methods and styles you've heard about and just simplify to the bare bones of what it is you want your children to be able to learn. There are simple and straightforward ways of learning basic tools and skills - it doesn't have to be a big project around each of them - and you can devote the rest of the time to providing all the fun family activities and playtime your children are drawn to. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Lillian

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by LionTigerBear

Others will disagree, but I do think that it is important to stick with one general philosophy or system of learning (which can be eclectic!) throughout your children's education-at-home years. My own experience with homeschooling was of my mom doing the flip-flopping from one system or philosophy to another and I found it, as a child, very unsettling and uncomfortable. I wish she has picked something that worked well for us and stuck with it. Or picked two things or three things, whatever, but I think once you choose something you like, try to stick it out. Consistency is nice for the kids and I think it makes learning easier for them. It builds security so that they can pursue their interests. I think at some point when I was 11 or 12 or so I just shut down and stopped even trying to learn. I felt like, what was the point? As soon as I felt like I knew what was going on and was making progress, my mom would switch up the game plan on me and I'd have to figure out a new system.

Hmm, let's see, she started out Waldorf and Oak Meadow. Then she switched to unit studies, plus Saxon Math. At this point I was still okay with everything, because we hadn't switched too much and Oak Meadow wasn't a good fit for me, anyway. But then she switched to a boxed curriculum, with supplementing, still using Saxon Math which math system, was, ironically, my least favorite part of our previous homeschool method. I liked the new textbooks, but it was disconcerting switching everything again. I felt like my mom didn't know what she was doing, or maybe I was doing something wrong. It was just uncomfortable to change again. But I rolled with it. then she switched to ANOTHER different curriculum, and also was kind of getting into Charlotte Mason which she worked in with it, as well. I have nothing against Charlotte Mason, but at that point it was just kind of annoying. I do remember feeling angry and resentful. Sigh. She didn't stop switching, she went to Classical next, I think. I really got into Latin and wanted to take another year of Latin, but too bad for me-- my mom had moved on to another method, an umbrella school. Latin was not on the menu. But I didn't care anymore. I tuned out at home. Eventually I left home when I was 16 and started going to public school.

Now, there was a lot of other negative stuff going on at my house, just an unhappy dysfunctional family, mostly. A big factor was that whether I liked something or not, or was interested in something or not, was never taken into consideration. It was all about my mom and what she liked and what she thought was "the best way". (Grr.) But I think with a mom like mine who struggled with depression and anxiety (as I have also, as a parent-- I get that--) it is easy to chase the grass-is-greener idea, rather than realizing that there are many good ways to homeschool, and the kids would probably thrive or do just fine in several of them! there is no "one good way" or one "best way for everyone". So, it's okay to relax and trust your choices.

I don't want to make anyone feel bad or say they are like my mom in this instance, because obviously there was a lot going on there-- but , I just wanted to gently say, I think it's nice for the kids, if, once you pick something, some kind of system that you like, (which can be a conglomeration to pretty much stick with that (within reason, of course the kids' needs will change as they grow) and not keep changing everything several times based on chasing perfection.

thanks for reminding us how importnat consistency is :