When does "his body" become "his choice?"

[bugmenot]

I saw something on another board which said that "his body his choice" could be somewhat hypocritical.

If it's "his body" then it's certainly "his choice" right?

Well, the way I see it, if he gets teased at age 8, and wants to "look like his friends" then it's not his call. You sit the kid down and tell him why things are different down there. (Using age appropriate words, of course.)

If he has a girlfriend at age 15 who thinks that foreskin is nasty and repulsive, once again, tell him that it's a permanent life-changing thing for a relationship which could only be a few weeks, or a few years. (Even then, what if he gets circ and they split up two days later?) I've always thought a girl who has an anti-foreskin opinion, the problem is with HER, not with HIM. - She can't accept the guy for what he has.

It's like a guy who can't accept a girl because she isn't a C cup, or isn't completely shaved, or any other number of reasons. If he won't date her because she's a small B cup, it's not her fault.



So, I ask you: When does "his body" become "his choice?"

Edited by bugmenot - 11/24/10 at 12:02pm

[the_lissa]

When he is 18? It seems pretty common sense that we don't let children make permament body modifications.

[purplestraws]

Well, I probably wouldn't allow any of my children to have elective plastic surgery until they're out of the house and can pay for it themselves.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

When he has the money to do it himself. Since it is an elective surgery it wouldnt be covered by insurance unless of course he could find a dr to say it was needed. Unfortunatly that wouldnt be to hard I dont think :

I would do everything in my power to prevent it but once he is and adult he can do as he chooses.

I would no moe pay for a circ for him to fit in than I would pay to get dd a nose job. I hope that my kids will understand that fitting in isnt what you strive for. Being who you are and being happy is.

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I would no moe pay for a circ for him to fit in than I would pay to get dd a nose job. I hope that my kids will understand that fitting in isnt what you strive for. Being who you are and being happy is.

ITA! I will pay for DD to dye her hair orange if she wants it...but a tattoo...she can take care of that herself! I paid for mine, she can pay for hers.

[Freud]

Originally Posted by purplestraws

Well, I probably wouldn't allow any of my children to have elective plastic surgery until they're out of the house and can pay for it themselves.

Yup. Exactly.

[nd_deadhead]

When he's legally able to sign his own consent form for surgery - age 18.

I would treat a discussion about circumcision the same way I would treat a discussion about any other kind of body modification: tattoo, piercing, breast surgery (reduction or augmentation) (if I had a daughter). We would talk about why they wanted it done, what are the advantages and disadvantages, what are the short- and long-term consequences, what are the costs and risks. I would recommend waiting at least 6 months, possibly a year, to make sure it was something they REALLY wanted to do, because in most cases it cannot be undone.

My twin sons are almost 15 (next week!), and neither can imagine why anyone would want to get circumcised, or would circumcise a baby, so I highly doubt it will ever be an issue for either of them. They are pretty attached to their foreskins (pun intended)!

[bugmenot]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead

I would recommend waiting at least 6 months, possibly a year, to make sure it was something they REALLY wanted to do, because in most cases it cannot be undone.

Good point.

"Is it still something he wants done several months later?"
"Is he of legal age to make such a decision himself?"
"Can he pay for it himself?"

[philomom]

Originally Posted by purplestraws

Well, I probably wouldn't allow any of my children to have elective plastic surgery until they're out of the house and can pay for it themselves.

Completely agree with the above post.

[MyBoysBlue]

One thing I never understood were the posts where people say they will pay for it in the future if their son isn't happy that they were left intact as babies. Why? Are we financially responsible to pay for our children's body modifications? I just can't understand this way of thinking.

If my son came to me and said he wanted to be circed I would quiz him to be sure he knew the facts and then I would definitely ask him to be certain and maybe wait awhile before deciding something so big. But in the end it is his decision to make once his is legal at 18. And no I would never pay for it or even help him pay for it.

[LavenderMae]

Originally Posted by purplestraws

Well, I probably wouldn't allow any of my children to have elective plastic surgery until they're out of the house and can pay for it themselves.

: Asking if I would allow (pay for) my sons to have their foreskins removed at X age is like asking me if I would allow (pay for) them to have a finger removed at X age. It's absurd really. It's also the same thing as asking if I would allow my daughter to be circumcised and of course the answer is no. In my house foreskin isn't seen as a dispensable body part and I'm pretty positive my sons agree (I know my older son does in fact, he is pretty horrified by circumcision).