today was a bad day

[mischa.simpson]

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Edited by mischa.simpson - 12/6/11 at 12:16pm

[CHoney]

I'm sorry Mama. That was so brave of you to go to the clinic to get help. I waited far too long...8 months before I had the courage to walk into the Mental Health Unit. It is scary being around VERY ill people.

I hope you're feeling better very soon. You've already made positive steps to get you there. Do you have a Mental Health Unit where you live? I'm also in BC, and was able to see a PPD counsellor within a few weeks of seeking help.

[mischa.simpson]

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Edited by mischa.simpson - 12/6/11 at 12:17pm

[FatherTryingToHelp]

I can't say I know what you are going through, but I know the other side of it. My wife has PPD (at least I think she does) and spent 6 months obsessing about pumping and feeding our little boy, now at 16 months we're still "regretting" it.

I would encourage you to continue to pump AS YOU FEEL POSSIBLE.

Your mental health is FAR MORE IMPORTANT to your child than driving yourself insane pumping/bfing. Please, look after yourself (and, assuming you have a partner, for goodness sake talk to them fully, keep them in the loop).

[njkarin]

I struggled with PPD starting at 6 weeks post partum. One of my major struggles was breastfeeding because my baby wanted to nurse ALL the time and it got to the point where I was literally exhausted and I would just cry while I nursed him. One of my major issues was putting pressure on myself to nurse thinking anything less would be harming my baby. (Before my baby's birth, I wanted to nurse him into toddler years! Then reality set in.) I am all for breastfeeding but when it interferes with your own mental health and ability to be the mom your baby needs, then you need to ask yourself if you should continue. I nursed him for 5 months which was 3 months longer than I should have for my own sanity. When my counselor and I discussed me giving it up it was hard at first and I felt so guilty. However, looking back on it (my DS is now 13 months old) it was the best decision I made for myself and my son. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and even on formula and bottles, my son is healthy and happy and it helped me down my path to recovery. Good luck to you and I think you are doing a wonderful thing by asking for help.

[mischa.simpson]

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Edited by mischa.simpson - 12/6/11 at 12:17pm

[CHoney]

I hope your appointment goes well today. That is nice they were able to fit you in on a cancellation. Let us know how it goes if you like.

I'm sorry you feel guilty about breastfeeding. I agree with the OPs, that it's most important to look after yourself so you can look after your baby. Maybe you can bring that up with the Psychiatrist and feel a bit better.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I too hope that the meeting with the psychiatrist goes well. Please keep us updated!!

[mischa.simpson]

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Edited by mischa.simpson - 12/6/11 at 12:17pm