Dr concerned about DD weight--making me feel like a horrible mom

[skylarsmom08]

My DD is 15 months. I just had her WBV and she's 19lbs 2.5oz and 32in that puts her in 3rd percentile for weight and 90th for height.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant and we've been nursing throughout my pregnancy. My milk supply has definitely decreased but is starting to pick up (she nurses about 4-5 times a day). I've tried getting her to drink whole milk, but she won't touch it. I've tried adding chocolate syrup and carnation breakfast powder but she still won't drink it.
She is a SUPER picky eater and won't try new things no matter how I offer it. She also won't eat any meat or meat substitutes.
She eats either whole grain waffles w/ butter and syrup or oatmeal for breakfast and depending if she's still hungry I give her a nutrigrain bar.
She rarely eats lunch. If I put it out for her, she just throws it off her tray. She'll eat fruit and snack type stuff (goldfish, animal crackers), but that's all.
For dinner she eats macaroni and cheese (i get the Annies organic single serving packets and she'll eat almost the whole thing).
After all of her meals, i give her "juice" it's actually the Naked brand green goodness (has juiced green fruits and veggies like spinach, broccoli, wheat grass, etc). She LOVES it! She drinks probably 8oz a day (sometimes double that--just depends) and maybe another 4oz of water. besides breastmilk, that's all she'll drink.
She used to eat cheese slices and yogurt but has stopped eating the cheese and won't let me feed her the yogurt (or ANYTHING for that matter). If I put a bowl of yogurt on her tray she just throws it.
I dont know what else to do...I feel like I'm hurting her. I feel like I did her a great disservice by nursing during the pregnancy, but she was only 7 months when I got pregnant.
She was just over 17 pounds at 9mo and 6 months later she's barely gained 2 pounds, but she's grown about 5 inches. you can see her ribs. She did start walking at 10 months and is always on the go, but shouldn't her appetite increase?
I don't know what to do.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Honestly, if she's fine developmentally I wouldn't worry about it too much. Some kids (and adults) are naturally thin. Also, do you think she has food-texture issues? My dd (she's now 7) does, and she had nothing but breastmilk until she was around 15 months. She was really chunky, though and always above the 75th percentile in weight and height. However, she's now in the 75th for height and less than 25th for weight. My dh is 6'1" and weighs about 170, so I think her thin, lanky build could come from him. Keep offering your dd new foods. Do you think she'd eat homemade mac and cheese made with whole grain pasta and real cheddar cheese? I'm betting it's higher in fat, and the whole grains would be good too.

[mysticmomma]

growth is supposed to slow down. According to the WHO bf charts, she is about the 25% for weight (about 9kg). And the length charts put her at about the 85% (She's about 81cm).

[mysticmomma]

Also, most kids will not starve themselves, yk? If she's hungry, she's going to eat something. Keep offering her foods she eats, and new ones often. If she is meeting milestones, happy, etc I really think you are fine. Plus, when that newborn milk comes in, she's gonna fatten up a little real quick!

[One_Girl]

If she has dropped out of a lot of percentiles then that is something that a doctor should be concerned about because a significant drop has occured no matter which growth chart you are following. If she has always been in the third percentile or around there then I don't think it should be a concern. Can you ask for a referal to a nutritionist so you can get some ideas about healthy things you can feed her that will also help her with her growth? This will help your doctor to feel that you are trying to make efforts to help her continue to stay healthy. Doctor's only see a little glimpse of people's lives and when they see warning signs of neglect and abuse they don't know enough about each family to assume things are fine even if parent's are adamant that they are a good parent. I realize it must be frustrating to have a doctor think you are neglecting your child, but people actually do neglect their children and it is a doctor's job to worry about your child not about your feelings.

Are you feeding her the things she throws or does she feed herself? If you are feeding her them then it may be she doesn't want to eat because she wants to feed herself. Have you tried soymilk? My dd started on the very vanilla soymilk and then went to whole milk.

[AGF]

Despite eating ALL THE TIME, my neice was in the same weight/height percentages as your daughter. The doctors made my brother and sil feel like they were negligent parents. They could not physically give her anymore calories. And guess what? She is just a slender person. Go figure.

My neighbor's daughter would not TOUCH food until she was two. A cracker here, some yogurt there, but really disinterested. Her mama worried about her constantly, but guess what? At two, she started eating with gusto and was FINE.

As long as she is progressing physically and cognitively, I wouldn't worry. Your baby is getting more and more active and weight starts to level off. If I were you, I would try not to worry and keep offering her all three meals. She will eat when she is hungry.

As a tip, I once read that using a ice cube tray with little snackies in it may encourage eating. Keeping it in the play area for her to go back and forth from may help her discover things she likes.

Good luck!

[skylarsmom08]

at 9 months she was around the 25th %tile for weight and about the 90th for height. So she has been dropping %tile at every visit. She is really active and is a happy LO. She says about 4 words with about 10 more that are almost there. She sleeps 12 hours at night and takes two 1 1/2 to 2 hour naps a day (she's always slept a lot). The doctor says she's still on the normal curve, but is about to drop off of it. I'm really hoping that she fattens up when I have the new baby, but I just don't know what to do about food. Does anyone have suggestions for fattening up the foods that she does eat. The one my doctor told me was to make the oatmeal with whole milk (i'd been using water) so I'm going to try that but don't know how to "fatten" up the other things.

[mysticmomma]

Try this oatmeal recipe:

3 c oatmeal
1 c milk
1/2 c butter
1/3 c sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
2 eggs

Bake in oven for 30mins at 350

[mysticmomma]

I'd add butter or flax oil to everything! How about some protein shakes or something similar. You can add a little more fat to the mac and cheese. Veggie dips? Full fat sourcream and a onion dip mix and she can dip slices of veggies in it? Even if she only licks the dip off it's calories!

[mysticmomma]

Can you give us a run down of food for the last two days or so?

[marisa724]

On the whole I wouldn't say I'm alarmed by what you're telling me, but there are a few things that stand out to me as cause for a little concern.

You mention that she loves her green juice and will drink anywhere from 8-16 oz. per day. That is a LOT of juice for a child that age -- it doesn't matter how healthy it is, it doesn't have the protein and fat that she needs so much at this stage of development. It's filling up her tummy and not leaving room for a more nourishing choice. My DS2 is exactly her age and he gets ZERO juice.

If she prefers to drink rather than eat at this stage, you can make fruit smoothies with whole milk or soymilk for more protein. Either way, but especially if you use soymilk which is lowfat, you can blend in a tablespoon or so of flax seed oil to up the 'good fat' content. I make smoothies all the time for my boys and my basic recipe is a frozen banana, maybe a handful of frozen blueberries, a solid TBS of flax seed oil, and enough milk (soymilk, ricemilk, etc) to cover the fruit in the blender. I make them to milkshake consistency (which my DS1 loves) but you can add more liquid if your DD prefers.

Sleeping a lot is nice, but it could also be concerning because you tend to 'power down' a bit when you're not taking in quite enough food. I had this problem with my DS1 during his first month, when he had nursing problems -- I thought he was just a good sleeper, but it turns out he was 'conserving energy' because he wasn't getting a lot of fat from my milk (I had an oversupply and he was getting mainly foremilk).

Making the oatmeal with whole milk is a great solution. If she'll eat it, offer it for lunch as well! Will she eat full-fat cream cheese on a cracker? Cheddar cheese cubes may be more appealing than the cheese slices (my own DS2 loves cubes but is so-so on the slices). Hummus is also good -- my DS2 has just reached the stage where he will take a pretzel stick and dip it in, and suck the hummus off (LOL, gross but nutritious!).

[LisainCalifornia]

Originally Posted by marisa724

On the whole I wouldn't say I'm alarmed by what you're telling me, but there are a few things that stand out to me as cause for a little concern.

You mention that she loves her green juice and will drink anywhere from 8-16 oz. per day. That is a LOT of juice for a child that age -- it doesn't matter how healthy it is, it doesn't have the protein and fat that she needs so much at this stage of development. It's filling up her tummy and not leaving room for a more nourishing choice. My DS2 is exactly her age and he gets ZERO juice.

If she prefers to drink rather than eat at this stage, you can make fruit smoothies with whole milk or soymilk for more protein. Either way, but especially if you use soymilk which is lowfat, you can blend in a tablespoon or so of flax seed oil to up the 'good fat' content. I make smoothies all the time for my boys and my basic recipe is a frozen banana, maybe a handful of frozen blueberries, a solid TBS of flax seed oil, and enough milk (soymilk, ricemilk, etc) to cover the fruit in the blender. I make them to milkshake consistency (which my DS1 loves) but you can add more liquid if your DD prefers.

Sleeping a lot is nice, but it could also be concerning because you tend to 'power down' a bit when you're not taking in quite enough food. I had this problem with my DS1 during his first month, when he had nursing problems -- I thought he was just a good sleeper, but it turns out he was 'conserving energy' because he wasn't getting a lot of fat from my milk (I had an oversupply and he was getting mainly foremilk).

Making the oatmeal with whole milk is a great solution. If she'll eat it, offer it for lunch as well! Will she eat full-fat cream cheese on a cracker? Cheddar cheese cubes may be more appealing than the cheese slices (my own DS2 loves cubes but is so-so on the slices). Hummus is also good -- my DS2 has just reached the stage where he will take a pretzel stick and dip it in, and suck the hummus off (LOL, gross but nutritious!).

I agree with all of this. Especially about the juice. I realize it is tempting to think it is healthy because it is marketed like that--but really--it is meant more as a small snack, not in the quantities she is drinking it. She needs much more fat a protein than she is getting as well. If you are not vegetarian, I would try, try, and then try again to find a way she will eat some meat. You may have just not gotten the secret combination of what works for her.

I had a very skinny child who was also a very picky eater. The toddler years were the hardest for him. I tried everything. One thing I stumbled upon was homemade chicken soup--but with the broth mostly drained off. He would eat the stewed chicken pieces and very soft noodles and even some of the veggies. I kept trying other ways to get protein into him, and eventually found he would also eat some beef if I made it very tender (like pot roast). I became an expert at pot roast, but had never made it before that point.

Keep trying. Your babe needs more protein and fat to grow her brain, which is developing at a very high rate. It is not true that a baby will not starve themselves--that is something that I read a lot, and it just isn't true. They may not actually die because of not eating (although it *is* possible), but they can starve their brain and bones, causing life long problems.

[Walk Unafraid]

First,

I feel your pain. About two months ago, DD went from being low on the charts to dropping off, and we've had to supplement.

But luckily we have an awesome doctor who is really supportive and working with us not only on a plan to chunk her up, but also a plan to up my supply and get us off the formula. She's only 6 months old, and I have a feeling she may always be a string bean, but even in the back of my head I felt she was not at a good weight (waaaay too ribby for a baby her age).

Does your LO ever show interest in foods you are eating? I'm finding if I eat foods and visibly enjoy them (eating loudly and going "Mmmmmm!", my DD goes nuts and wants them). I've noticed older children seem to be very interested in what grownups are eating, too.

If she has no nut allergies, peanut butter or cashew butter on crackers comes to mind as nut butters are full of fats, calories, and proteins. Cheeses are also great (if you aren't into dairy, try a mild goat...goat is wonderful! ).

I also heard you can add olive oil (dripped over solids) to help a baby/child pick up weight. I'll be doing that when we start my LO on solids (we're doing baby led weaning when she's hit all the milestones and gained a few more pounds) to get her weight up.

Don't worry. You are not a bad mom. You are working on a solution, and your daughter sounds healthy. Sometimes LOs just need a little help plumping up.

[skylarsmom08]

thanks for the food tips.
RE: the juice--i'm usually against juice, but resorted to that since she won't eat during the day. 8 oz is the usual (a couple oz after breakfast with the majority during the afternoon). The reason I chose this juice is because it has vegetables and other healthy foods (wheat grass, barley grass, blue green algae, garlic, artichoke and the list goes on). I figured if she's not eating at least she was getting SOME nutrients.
Also, I try giving her mac & cheese for lunch and she won't eat it, she'll only eat it at night. I just tried giving her waffles for lunch (which she ate 2 of at breakfast) and she wouldn't touch them

as for a run down of the last two days
Today--
Breakfast:
2 waffles w/butter and oatmeal, 2-3oz juice
Lunch:
(I'm out of mac & cheese or I would've offered)
Offered/ATE--veggie patty, peanut butter crackers (ate 1), french toast w/ peanut butter and syrup, potato salad, mini muffins (she ate 4/5), nutrigrain bar, 3 oz juice, handful of cheerios (she gave about half to the dogs)
She's going to go over to grandma's later and I'm packing goldfish crackers and a nutrigrain bar
She'll have mac & cheese for dinner and hopefully some fruit

Breakfast:
1 packet of oatmeal, 1 large banana, 1 cup juice
Lunch/snack:
goldfish crackers (1/4 cup), nutrigrain bar, animal crackers (5), freeze dried strawberries and bananas, couple french fries, few bites of banana
(tried giving her mac & cheese but she wouldn't eat it.
Dinner:
1 packet mac & cheese

[StrawberryFields]

My dd is only 17 lbs at age 1.5 so I understand how it feels to have a little peanut. My ds was the same size. People come in all different shapes, babies included. There is no one-weight-fits-all. My children also do not drink milk.

I would focus more on whether your dd is healthy and meeting milestones than what the scale says. That said, I do agree with previous posters that drinking such a large quantity (8-16 oz) of Naked Juice is filling her up with empty calories and lots of sugar. Even the Green one--the first ingredient is apple juice, isn't it? With nearly 30 grams of sugar in every 8 oz, I believe. Naked Juice is extremely filling but lacks protein and fat that it really needed at this developmental stage. Honestly, I would cut it out completely or down to 4 oz once a week as part of a snack, or something like that. Or try using the juice to make a smoothie with added protein, oils, etc.

With my children I add fat/calories to their meals in different ways. When you make her macaroni and cheese, instead of buying the single servings, could you get a box--possibly with whole grain noodles, I believe Annie's makes that--and make it with heavy cream, 1/2 & 1/2, or whole milk, and butter. Add cream and butter to her oatmeal in the morning as well. Or make some whipped cream w/o added sugar and top her fruit, her smoothies, or her oatmeal with it.

Have you introduced her to dip? Try blending full fat cream cheese with some plain whole milk yogurt and a little fruit and honey and encourage her to dip her animal crackers in it for a snack. Or the cream cheese with a little sour cream and some cheese to dip veggie sticks in.

Best of luck! I hope you can find something that works for you and your dd!

[Centura]

I can not emphazise enough that you are not a bad mom! In this day and age, its a jungle trying to figure out what to feed your kids and what not to feed them!
My oldest, now 4.5 yo is and has always been skinny to the point of having my pull my hair out, past year she has grown length wise but not weight wise, and this has been since she was 6 months, I got pregnant too and my milk just was not enough, and I had to start feeding her foods, since formula she would just not touch no matter what I tried.. My doctor said that some women just have a problem keeping the milk nutrisious enough when they are pregnant, and its a common thing!

Sometimes I worry myself sick over her weight, and sometimes I just try to shrug and look at the whole picture, she is very healthy, smart, very advanced in her development. A few things I have done and tried, with more or less success:

Butter, in everything! and lots of it, and REAL butter, not the spread kind...

Heavy cream, tastes great in stuff like oatmeal, smoothies, well anything you would and can use milk for. I would fill her mac and cheese with both butter and cream! This is not something I would give to a "normal" kid, but for a boost, YES.

Several moms have already said oil, and yes, its a very good supplement, just make sure its pure and preferably corn or olive oil. Never the "cooking oil" option.

Avacados! thats a calorie bomb! Mix them with bananas and mash them up, its so good even I love it ! Thin it out with milk for a smoothie, since she likes to drink she might love that.

Let her dip her snacks, you can make your own dips if you want to keep an eye on whats in it, from sourcream, cream cheese, yoghurt or just about anything she will eat. The dips usually gives more calories than the snacks themselves, and that is a good thing right now
You will be amazed what things can be good to mix with for example sourcream

Bear in mind, that things that you yourself might think sounds not so appetizing, for a kid it can be DE-licious... My kids loves mixing ranch dressing and ketchup for example... EWWWWW but they love it...

And yes, pull back on the juice, seriously? In my own personal opinion, we are so "indoctrinated" that fruits and veggies is what we have to get them to eat, and "normally" yes, it takes tricks to get it in them, but if you do have a weight problem, it really has to be on the back burner a bit. If you get her to eat some in combination with high calorie stuff, good!

As for myself, stuff I fed my daughter that you all might not, but I really prioritized getting fat and protein in her...
Bacon strips for snacks... she loves bacon...
Tuna, just plain tuna mixed with dressing
Organic ice cream made with real cream and eggs
And I butter sauteed or poured melted butter on everything, even macaroni and spaghetti...

The good part of all this was that I gradually could pull back on the fatty stuff and she would just as gladly eat everything "plain", even veggies
And to this day, she still loves the "Avananers"... the avacadoes and bananas :

I guess what Im trying to say is, sometimes, we all are forced for one reason or another to stray from the path of "what we should and shouldnt do", and its OK!!
Its not gonna change over night, putting on weight when your skinny, is just as hard as losing it when your chubby...

[Centura]

LOL Strawberry fields... get off my frequency!! "chuckles"

[Liquesce]

Hi. I was once in similar shoes. I got unexpectedly pregnant when my first child was about five months old and exclusively breastfed; by the time he was seven/eight months old my milk supply was noticeably dropping and beginning to affect his growth, but he was unwilling to drink from a bottle or cup and was disinterested in solids.

First: don't feel like a bad mom. What you have is a culmination of events outside of your control, not anything that you've done wrong.

Ask your doctor if he can give you a referral to a pediatric nutritionist. They can't make your daughter interested in food, obviously, but they can give you solid advice on appropriate calories for her age, increasing the calories in what she will eat, and keeping track of her intake. I can tell you that in all the paperwork my nutritionist gave me there was a lot said on cutting back on or avoiding juice, as others said above ... a lot of times it does take the place of more dense foods and can directly contribute to low weight problems. At this age you really do have to worry about making sure the calories and calories-from-fat are there at least as much as, if not more than, worrying about vitamins.

(ETA: We used to heat whole milk with butter and sugar or honey -- the butter binds to the existing milk fat so it doesn't really settle back out. Might be worth a shot. We wasted a lot of milk before my son would accept it, but once he would it really helped a lot. We also wound up stirring formula powder into everything it's even remotely possible to stir formula powder into. If he'd have eaten mac'n'cheese, there would have been formula powder. If he'd have eaten yogurt, there would have been formula powder. Etc. I know a lot of people have a kind of a visceral reaction to the idea of using formula, but its proper function is to replace unavailable breastmilk, and it doesn't have to be mixed with just water to fulfill its function.)

[EmilyVorpe]

Our kiddos are the same age and size. We see a pediatrician and a gastro-intestinal specialist (for big time belly issues). Neither of them are worried about weight. In fact, as long as there is SOME growth at SOME point, they are happy.
We pour olive oil over a LOT. We'll actually cook waffles in a skillet with a little olive oil. We add it to rice and pasta. We do fun pasta shapes and she'll eat a bunch. We have dairy/soy allergies, so its hard for us to do all the high-fatty milk/cheese/heavy cream suggestions people throw at us, so we've had to improvise. We also do small portions of fruits and veggies and bigger portions of everything else. It's completely opposite of what I've been taught to feed my kids, but she needs the fat and as long as she's getting nutrients and some sort of veggies/fruits, its good.
If your dr is really worried, I'd ask for a sample of something called Duocal. It's a tasteless powder added to any drink. Its basically a nice healthy scoop of calories. Then, the stress over food is gone because dc is eating what you want/they want and not worrying about cramming things down their throats.
Just a suggestion. It's eliminated a lot of worry with us....there was only so much olive oil we could add, ya know?
And no matter what, your baby is healthy. Small, yes. But still healthy.
Good luck.

[buttercups.nest]

My LLL leader says to look at the World Health Organization growth charts...they're for breastfed babies.

I found my daughter would eat food one way but not another. For example, when I first gave her cheese I'd give it to her how I eat it, sliced. She wouldn't touch it....she loved it when I gave it to her grated though. Same thing with fruit...I figured chop it into small bits for her right? No, she wants to eat it how I eat :S I've also discovered she likes things I wouldn't have even thought of...like tortilla shells.

Good luck