How to address this? 8yo stealing and lying - Page 2

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by sanguine_speed

I do not think that a forced apology is meaningful. I also think forcing an apology sends the message that an apology makes things better, and that somehow as long as you say you're sorry, even when you're not, your actions were okay. Or that if you lie and say you're sorry because you were coerced to that you can get away with things.

I 100% agree! 1000%!
Same goes for please and thanks, IMO (they observe us saying it all the time, therefore, when they mean it they'll say it, but forcing it on the kids before they can even comprehend the meaning of it is just wrong)

[mommy2maya]

Originally Posted by Yulia_R

I 100% agree! 1000%!
Same goes for please and thanks, IMO (they observe us saying it all the time, therefore, when they mean it they'll say it, but forcing it on the kids before they can even comprehend the meaning of it is just wrong)

An 8yo most certainly can comprehend the meaning and importance of please/thank you/apologizing.

[sanguine_speed]

I will talk to her about whether she wishes to apologize. I will not make her say sorry if she's not. I would prefer she feel apologetic, but if she doesn't, I'm not more concerned than I was before.

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

An 8yo most certainly can comprehend the meaning and importance of please/thank you/apologizing.

agree. and if she means it she'll say it. if not, forcing her will only teach her to say things she doesn't mean.

A couple of months ago my 4 yo threw dirt into a stranger (woman) when we went to a lake. She said to him, at least you could say "I'm sorry". My son was silent, she looked at me (waiting that I'll make him to say sorry). All I said that evedently he isn't sorry and I am sorry that he isn't sorry.