Muslim mamas, need some support.

[yasinsmama]

A Salamu Alaikum mamas:
So, I am still nursing DS who is 16 months. I didn't fast last year because he was just 3 or 4 months, and was exclusively breastfed. I made up 1/2 of those days and paid the other 1/2 before this Ramadan. My family gave me grief about not fasting (everyone except DH).

This year, I told DH I was concerned about fasting because DS gets his milk only from me. He will not drink any other type of milk, and I have been trying to get him to before Ramadan began, but he won't, he just spits it back out. I even mixed 1/2 milk and 1/2 yo baby yogurt drink, but he won't drink that either. He doesn't eat much, and is only 20 pounds at 16 months.

Now, if he drank cow milk, or any other milk, and ate a little more, I wouldn't even be concerened about fasting, but I feel like I have to protect every drop of milk that my body can make for my baby.

I decided instead of not fasting at all, to alternate days. Fast one, eat the next, fast the next, etc. And i'll see how Adam does with this. DH is supportive, but my mom and sister are not. They tell me women in Morocco (where my family is from) fast all the time and they are fine. Really, I can't be concerned with what other women do, i'm only concerned about me and my baby.

Why do some women feel the need to be a "martyr" and fast while they're pregnant, and sick as a dog, or nursing, and milk supply is just coming in? Certain people are exempt for a reason. It just upsets me that the women in my family can't support me during this time.

I know everyone's body is different, and some women may very well be able to fast every day and it not affect their milk supply, but I just don't really want to take that chance. If I took that chance, and it did affect me, then my son is also affected. I feel like it would be weaning him cold turkey if something happened, and that would be bad, because he nurses ALOT.

Thanks for letting me vent a little. Inshallah this will be an easy and great Ramadan for us all.

[MommaFox]

Hi! I'm not Muslim, but I know what it's like to have obstinate family. Do what you know is right, regardless of what they say. It'll be a long haul but it's really not between you and them, now is it? Be stong for you and your baby. It's also great that your DH is supportive. Lean on him, too if you need it.

[Amatullah0]

i know you're not looking to hear this right now, but in the hanafi madhhab at least, the only exemptions to fasting are: women on period/with pp bleeding, travellers, and those who, if they fast, they will either be harmed(or their child will be). the catch is, they have to KNOW, either from experience, or from the advice of a righteous muslim doctor who understands their specific condition, that they will be harmed.

many women fast and dont notice a drop in supply. some women do notice a drop in supply. right now, ds is 2mo, and i'm fasting. i'm a little concerned, because we were having supply issues anyways, but i don't think fasting will mess with the already bad supply issues. however, if i do notice my supply dropping, i will break my fast, and i believe that, especially at his age, my supply will meet the demand after i stop fasting. i don't know if that would be the case with your DCs age, however. you should probably ask them in the bf forum.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...6687&CATE=1610

[vegk8]

One doesn't fast for their family. One fasts for God. Right? Do you live with other members of your family (other than DH)? I would be inclined not to discuss my decision with unsupportive friends and family, do what I felt was right with little discussion and make an effort to not eat and drink in front of others.

Hugs! I hope you make some peace with what ever you decide. Salaam.

[umsami]

I honestly think that Allah(swt) gives women an exemption from fasting during pregnancy and breastfeeding for a reason... and it's sort of like shunning a gift to obstinately fast regardless. :

So many many women fast even when they shouldn't... women with medical issues... it totally shocks me. I know of a woman on numerous meds for diabetes, with kidney issues, who is fasting. To put it bluntly, it could be deadly. I know of a pregnant woman with low amniotic fluid who is fasting. Once again... not a good idea.

I wonder if Allah(swt) even accepts the fast of those who do it when they should not... y'know? Islam is supposed to be "the middle way". Not too hard. Not super easy. Yet so many people try and make it more difficult than it is. I wonder why?

:

Good luck. I'm glad you have a supportive DH. I would just keep silent about it and ISA everything will be O.K.

http://www.islamonline.net/English/r...h/fiqh62.shtml

It has also come from Ibn Abbas that the pregnant and the women are within the group of: “And those who are unable have to feed a poor person.” (2:184)

And if the pregnant and breast-feeding women fear for themselves, then most of the scholars say that they should not fast and they only have to make it up. In this case they are similar to the sick. But for the pregnant woman who fears for the fetus or the breast-feeding woman who fears for the child, it is unanimously agreed that they are not to fast.

[Amatullah0]

Originally Posted by umsami

I wonder if Allah(swt) even accepts the fast of those who do it when they should not... y'know? Islam is supposed to be "the middle way". Not too hard. Not super easy. Yet so many people try and make it more difficult than it is. I wonder why?

good point. its actually haram to NOT take advantage of the exemptions allah provides. as for the example you gave, i probably fall under this category of people. i think i'm going to go ahead and actually talk to a doctor inshallah.

[Nabbe]

But there is no clear exemption, only if you fear for your or the babys health... Nothing else. One is obliged to try, I feel, but then if you cant, you cant. I rather try, and fail, than not try at all.

I have fasted one pregnancy, and my son was born perfectly healthy weiging 11 pounds, in Leilat ul Qadr mashaAllah... And in the other two pregnancies, I was unable to fast.

I have fasted always as breastfeeding though.

[sawsan]

salam all,
yasinsmam, it all depends on your sect and the rullings you have. for example in the shia jafari sect( since there is ismaeli and other sects in shiasim) it is totally fine not to fast if you were nursing and your child is depending on you. one of my cousin's has exactly ur sitation, and she was told not to fast by the alim here. my sister in-law was pregno last year ( 3 months pregno during ramadan) and she couldn't absolutly fast , on the other hand i am pregno now and i am fasting. it all depends on ur condition.
i am not sure about the other sunni sects( shafi, hanbali, maliki....etc).

all the best...