Yet another gem from Parenting magazine

[ishyfishie]

http://www.parenting.com/article/Bab...eeding-Rules/1

Things like this make me wish I could screen what my first-time pregnant friends are reading. "Research shows ________? Ha! My baby turned out just fine! Who cares about medical and scientific advances?"

[MadameXCupcake]

Holy cow. :
As a parent I want my Miss Belly to be better than 'fine.'
That article just made me

[shoes]

what gets me most about this article is that it sounds like she had every advantage in the world and still didn't breast feed longer. I mean, common! How many people get to breast feed their babies in company meetings?!?! I guess that part stood out the most because I pumped for 18 months so my dd2 (who has many health issues) could have my milk. And lucky her that she was never harassed for bf in public. I think she'd sing a different tune if she had. Man... :

Anyone else notice this at the end...
"Paula Spencer is the author of Momfidence: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting..."

[bajamergrrl]

"But breastfeeding advocates have raised the bar so high on what counts as the right way to feed a baby, it's a wonder anybody dares to start."

Couldn't it be that the bar has been set so low to begin with? What I don't understand is the blaming of breastfeeding instead of the blaming of the external factors than can make it difficult for moms. She mentions how difficult is to breastfeed for a year when maternity leave is only 6 weeks but never questions why our society is so unfriendly towards WOHM. I can appreciate an article that speaks honestly about someone's breastfeeding experience (negative or positive) but it really irks me when there is misplaced blame on the act itself.

[shoes]

Off topic I know...

but OMG... on the last page under "See Also" for other related articles...
http://www.parenting.com/article/Pre...ep-For-Nursing

This really makes me wanna hurl

[Ellen Griswold]

Originally Posted by shoes

Off topic I know...

but OMG... on the last page under "See Also" for other related articles...
http://www.parenting.com/article/Pre...ep-For-Nursing

This really makes me wanna hurl

WOW!!!!!

That was the most offensive thing that I have ever read!!!



Is there any way to reply on that site? Because I have a few words I'd like to share.

[Eeyore35]

Originally Posted by shoes

Off topic I know...

but OMG... on the last page under "See Also" for other related articles...
http://www.parenting.com/article/Pre...ep-For-Nursing

This really makes me wanna hurl

Pretty accurate though.

[SpiderMum]

Originally Posted by Eeyore35

Pretty accurate though.

I don't feel that it's accurate at all! Both of these articles suck! I'm so annoyed now! :

[Deir]

Agh!!!!!!!! I am a breastfeeding counselor and I routinely get calls because a mom's milk supply is dropping to nothing because she is giving a "few bottles here and there" I can't stand this new thing with articles bestowing the virtue of "doing your best"

[spedteacher30]

i don't know....

i have seen two or three close friends move into a successful, long-term breastfeeding relationship after initially being very reluctant to even start nursing. They were freaked out by making a year-long commitment to it before they were even moms, but were able to commit to "trying in the hospital." for some women, giving themselves permission to not be perfect is the thing they need to start something that is otherwise very overwhelming.

i think her advice about giving bottles was pretty cruddy, but i think the attitude that we don't need to be perfect is pretty good. Although, I would rather see a baby get nursed 100% during mom's maternity leave--even if the baby ends up on formula before age 1 due to too many bottles--than see a baby never get a drop of breastmilk due to mom's fear of not being able to nurse perfectly.

[kcstar]

Originally Posted by spedteacher30

... i think the attitude that we don't need to be perfect is pretty good. Although, I would rather see a baby get nursed 100% during mom's maternity leave--even if the baby ends up on formula before age 1 due to too many bottles--than see a baby never get a drop of breastmilk due to mom's fear of not being able to nurse perfectly.

This.

DH quit work to take care of DS when he was born, making me the sole income. I didn't want to dip into savings, so I only took the 8 weeks of leave for my C-section. I was bound and determined to make it a year.

DH was as supportive as he could be, considering what he knew. But he couldn't go 2-3 hours at the end of the day with a four-month old fussing, hungry, and had already drunk all the expressed milk.

He was stressed out and angry. I was stressed out, spending ALL my breaks at work pumping, and usually knowing that what I got wouldn't be enough. And this was the stage where DS nursed ALL. NIGHT. LONG. So I was working all day, nursing all night, getting essentially no sleep. Trying to put in a few hours of work on the weekends so that I had the flexibility to keep my pump breaks and MAYBE have a few minutes to myself.

I tried to pump a little at home, a few times. DS almost always woke up and wanted his mommy time while he could get me.

So DS got about 2 oz most workdays, sometimes 4. Once I realized that I would/could make sure that 2 oz/work day was ALL the formula he got, that I would "do my best," it saved our BF relationship.

He got only mom for evenings, nights, weekends, and as much as I could pump during the day. And we're still nursing at 23 1/2 months. I'm going to call this a success.

[KimberlyD0]

Originally Posted by shoes

Off topic I know...

but OMG... on the last page under "See Also" for other related articles...
http://www.parenting.com/article/Pre...ep-For-Nursing

This really makes me wanna hurl

LMAO ok this was actually amusing to read. I suspect its not ment as real advice though. Sometimes I think doing some of that stuff, especially the sandpaper over nipples would have maybe made me ready for the pain.


Over all I agree with the sentiment of not having to be perfict at BF or parenthood. I'll just take that from the article and leave it at that.

I do however feel that not needing to feel like I had to be perfict the second time is what made me successful. There was to much pressure and stress the first time and I failed. The second time I gave myself permission to fail and it was like a weight was lifted and I was so free.

[noeonend]

Originally Posted by spedteacher30

i don't know....

i have seen two or three close friends move into a successful, long-term breastfeeding relationship after initially being very reluctant to even start nursing. They were freaked out by making a year-long commitment to it before they were even moms, but were able to commit to "trying in the hospital." for some women, giving themselves permission to not be perfect is the thing they need to start something that is otherwise very overwhelming.

i think her advice about giving bottles was pretty cruddy, but i think the attitude that we don't need to be perfect is pretty good. Although, I would rather see a baby get nursed 100% during mom's maternity leave--even if the baby ends up on formula before age 1 due to too many bottles--than see a baby never get a drop of breastmilk due to mom's fear of not being able to nurse perfectly.

I agree. When I was having the major nursing issues I had with my first, my LC sat me down one day and gave me "the talk." She told me that sometimes moms do everything they can to make things work out, and that it doesn't always go how we want. Then she told me that if I was doing everything I could and there came a day that I could not handle things, I was always welcome to call her and she would be happy to help me wean. Knowing I had someone who saw how much I just needed a supportive ear made all the difference for me. There were actually several times I decided I couldn't hack it(usually about 4 inthe morning), then by the time I got around to making the call, I had made it through another day. We made it to 12.5 months after not latching for the first 10 weeks.

Also, as someone who is in the middle of teething with an eight month old acrobat, I thought the second article was quite funny!

[GoestoShow]

.

Edited by GoestoShow - 12/7/10 at 7:08am

[Beckamomof4]

It irks me too, to read these, but I have been on 4 different sides of the nursing issue! (Luckily able to finally nurse my 3rd for 23 months, hoping to go that or longer with #4)

Originally Posted by shoes

Anyone else notice this at the end...
"Paula Spencer is the author of Momfidence: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting..."

I know her personally, she lives here in NC, and is a great person. There is a part in her book about an Ore incident in a wholesale club...hence the title. Please don't flame unless you know the reason behind something!

[listipton]

Originally Posted by shoes

Off topic I know...

but OMG... on the last page under "See Also" for other related articles...
http://www.parenting.com/article/Pre...ep-For-Nursing

This really makes me wanna hurl

The second article was meant to be a 'joke' when it was published. But I rank it up there with the joke lists like "27 reasons a beer is better than a woman". I don't really find that kind of stuff funny.

[baglady]

I am going to post something that may be very unpopular here but, I agree with this article that breastfeeding advocates set up a system to make people feel like failures. I often see women on these boards talk about how some people "only" nurse for six months and how their babies will get no benefit from that. That makes me furious and I think deep down we all know it is a bunch of baloney.

There are some of us who nurse on demand, co-sleep, stay home, rarely pump and have perfect latches who struggle with supply. I've taken all of the herbs and pumped post feeding, every two hours all day long, and everything else. Know what? My supply still tapered off to almost nothing. My MIL nursed her children for over two years and my mother nursed as well. I had a super supportive environment.

At the seven month mark, my baby was constantly constipated from lack of liquids and demanding more and more solids. He was miserable and my breasts were covered with bruises from him squeezing me, desperate for more food. He was losing weight. I know some of you are thinking of all the thing I probably did "wrong" to bring this on myself.

After a lot of crying and feeling like a failure, I switched to formula during the day. My baby is happy, eating much less solids and pooping regularly. We still get in one good nursing at bedtime.

When I read this article a few weeks ago, I felt comforted. As much as I feel at home on these boards, I feel like this is my dirty secret. Giving off the message that nursing for just a little while isn't worth it, is, IMO, damaging to the cause. Why not encourage people to give it a try? Why does everything have to be all or nothing?

Those of you who are lucky enough to have adequate supply or 2+ years should be thankful, not condescending to people who aren't that lucky. Whether or not she did it right, she nursed. Maybe some women who are really mainstream will read this and think "hey you don't have to be a crunchy hippie to do it, I'll give it a shot." This article may really bring nursing to an audience that would pay no attention to an article titled "I Nursed for 5 Years, and That is the Only Correct Way to Do It."

Everyone has their own nursing journey. For some of us, it doesn't work out perfectly, but I will not be made to feel like a bad mother because of the way I nourish my child.

Sorry if this is harsh, I just feel really strongly about this.

[GISDiva]

:

I'm with you...

[listipton]

http://www.bestforbabes.com/help-i-d...to-breastfeed/

I wish more articles addressed the feelings of bfing like this one (thanks MDC for linking it on the homepage a while back . I send it to couples when I know they're on the fence about bfing or feeling guilty for stopping. It's a pretty great site, IMO.

[~LadyBug~]

Wow, just wow. I am speechless. :