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can baby be circumsized if mom says no? - Page 3

post #41 of 50
Congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful baby boy! I am so happy that he is here and happy, healthy and whole.

Ad for the "pretty loose" comment, it could be that his foreskin is longer than "average" what ever that means. Some babies have longer fingers, some shorter, some have shorter eye lashes, some longer. Rest assured, your baby has the right foreskin for his penis and the right penis for his body!

I just love this video for it's technical yet understandable presentation:
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...o/prepuce.html

This might be perfect for your dh if he likes scientific stuff.

Again, congtatulation! And if you want to post a link to a picture of this little angel, we won't complain one bit!
post #42 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post
he was born very early tuesday morning. he is perfect and still intact!
YAAYYY!!!

Quote:
made it through the hospital stay. had a number of nurses keep asking if we were going to circumcise... at one point i complained to someone about having to keep saying no. (shouldn't one "no" be enough?)
Yes. One "no" should be enough. It's awful the way they'll hassle new moms about stuff...and this one is really bad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
YAY! Congrats on your healthy, happy, whole baby boy!

No, one time should not even have to happen...it's a cosmetic procedure and my understanding is that it's unethical to solicit cosmetic surgery. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and I would follow up your complaint with a letter chastising them for the solicitation!
I agree. Repeatedly soliciting cosmetic surgery is really disgusting.
post #43 of 50
If you have the energy for it, please also send a letter of complaint to the state medical board on the harassment of solicitation of cosmetic surgery.
post #44 of 50
Congratulations on your baby!

I hope the doctor didn't try to retract him to find out that he's loose (retraction is a big no-no). Have you read the Warning for Parents of Intact Spns thread yet? If not, I very much recommend reading it.

yulia
post #45 of 50
: Congrats!
post #46 of 50
:
post #47 of 50
Thread Starter 
no, the ped. did not try to retract him. in fact, she warned me that his penis does *not* need to be retracted until it loosens on its own. i have read the warnings for parents of intact sons, and am choosing a ped. with that advisement. i think she was just pointing it out to me. she said most foreskins are "tighter." i guess my question to this board was whether having "loose foreskin" bodes well for his future ability to retract (on his own of course) versus having a "tight foreskin" that doesn't retract well for a long time (just my speculation -- don't really have a clue).

as a related sidenote, my own brother (third brother -- all three were left intact at birth), had to be circumcised at age 16, after a childhood of repeated infections. turns out (i learned in conversations with my mother re: not circumcising), the ped. they had way back then retracted him at age 6 months. we now know why he got the infections. the doctor caused it.
post #48 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post
no, the ped. did not try to retract him. in fact, she warned me that his penis does *not* need to be retracted until it loosens on its own. i have read the warnings for parents of intact sons, and am choosing a ped. with that advisement. i think she was just pointing it out to me. she said most foreskins are "tighter." i guess my question to this board was whether having "loose foreskin" bodes well for his future ability to retract (on his own of course) versus having a "tight foreskin" that doesn't retract well for a long time (just my speculation -- don't really have a clue).

as a related sidenote, my own brother (third brother -- all three were left intact at birth), had to be circumcised at age 16, after a childhood of repeated infections. turns out (i learned in conversations with my mother re: not circumcising), the ped. they had way back then retracted him at age 6 months. we now know why he got the infections. the doctor caused it.
Generally, it doesn't matter tight or lose as an infant/child. Remember it might not fully retract until his teen years so you may never see it. In addition to simply growing and changing the loosening process is help along by 'exploration' as a child and as he approaches his teen years well... um.. will gradually stretch it.
post #49 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post
and he said "what will you tell him when he gets a little older and wonders why he doesn't look like his dad" (DH is circed).
What the hell would he be showing his son his penis for? Will hell freeze over if the boy has a different eye or hair color? Kids wonder for a few seconds, then go back to playing.

Also, he's your husband, so legally he has equal right to sign the form (a hospital is violating law by treating a mother with preference over a legal father as both are equal in law, at least on paper in law books). If you're in a state where both must sign, you're in luck. If you're in a state where only one must, you need to keep talking to your husband.

Point out the child will look different in other ways he can see. Tell him he saw his dad have different hair color or length, different eye color, wearing different clothing, and he didn't grow up thinking there was something wrong. So why will a child feel bad that a covered-up body part looks different? Is it going to be a big deal if your husband's pubic hair color is one color and your son, as a teen, has another? No. And promise him that, if your son decides, as a teen, that he "wants to look like dad" in this way, then you'll support a circumcision then.
post #50 of 50
Actually most hospitals only the mother has the legal right to sign the form the reason for this is they know 100% for sure the child is hers while even if the mom is married they dont know this without genetic testing. This way they are covered if the mom says that he shouldnt have been allowed to consent because he isnt the father. I actually think the mother should have more rights than the father in certain cases. Depending on situation and other factors.

With the OP's hospital this was the case
Quote:
also today i saw my midwife, told her that i definitely do not want our son circumcised, and that my husband still needs some convincing in that regard. she said it's the OBs who perform the procedure at our hospital, and that i should make sure to not sign the permission for the procedure. also she marked my file "do not circumcise" and said that it will not be done. she said *i* am their patient. so, while it may be technically possible for my husband to go around me by taking our son elsewhere to be circumcised later, it will not be happening at our hospital after his birth.
Since her ds is here and intact though it is a moot point.
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