should I give my dd a hamster?

[mamallama]

She's 8. She really wants a small pet of her own. Guinea pigs and rabbits are out b/c our house is small and crowded and we just don't have the space for an appropriately sized enclosure. Rats are out. I love them, but dh, dd1, and I are all allergic. Just can't do it.

Everyday she talks about the small dog she'll one day have, but that's out of the question right now. We have two dogs. We are at capacity with food, vet and occasional boarding costs--not to mention the small house factor.

So, a hamster. I'm fine with being ultimately responsible for feeding and upkeep--no illusions there. Thing is, she's never asked for one. She doesn't specifically want one, though she does want a guinea pig or a rabbit or another rat. In talking about various pocket pets, she always asks about natural lifespan. She takes death hard (she's lost two elderly dogs, two elderly cats, three elderly rats and a couple of hermit crabs in her lifetime.) Hamsters are naturally short lived (2yrs max, right?)

Her birthday is this week and she's bummed about several things that are mainly out of my control (middle child syndrome, just got braces, older sister has had some good opportunities lately...) I really want to make her really happy--stunningly happy--to give her something she can lavish her abundant love and caring on...but dang it! Hamsters just don't live very long!

What should I do?

[Sarah W]

In general, I don't like tying a birthday to bringing a pet into the family. I just don't like pets as gifts. However, if it's something that could be discussed with DD IRT her getting older and maybe wanting responsibility.

I just don't know. It seems that she wants a niche of her own, which makes sense since you mentioned some of the things with her older sibling. Do you think having her own pet would help that?

Maybe talk to her about her birthday and what she'd like. Would she prefer one on one time with you? Maybe an unusual activity in your area that you two do together.

[angie7]

No. Hamsters are notorious biters, not the friendliest creatures in the world. I would suggest a gerbil, mouse, guinea pig, or a rabbit (I would say rats to but you said those are a def. no) I don't think bringing in an animal for a surprise is a bad thing. I think it's a great idea! Just b/c it happens to be her birthday, doesn't mean it will not be loved....

My twins wanted a snake for their 3rd b-day (which they got ) and she is very much loved despite what day she came to live with us.

[mamallama]

Yeah, I'm generally opposed to pets as surprises or gifts, but I think it would be ok in this situation with this kid.

As far as bitey--I wouldn't get a dwarf hamster b/c my experience is that some of those just can't be tamed. I'm pretty confident that I could tame a teddy bear or golden to the point where my gentle dd could handle it safely & then she could do the rest.

I'm thinking hamster over gerbil b/c gerbils tend to jump, whereas hamsters only dart. I think darting is more manageable than jumping.

What about the lifespan factor? Is it ok to give a sensitive child a pet that just won't live very long?

[miss_sonja]

I wouldn't get a hamster. They're not that friendly. I'm neutral on the birthday association but do be willing to be the primary caretaker of the critter in case.

I'd recommend a pair of female mice. Two will keep each other company and are more fun to watch. We have mice and they're the sweetest little ladies! I do the care, as they're my pets really, but each mouse "belongs" to one of my girls. Their little claws are so tiny they can't accidentally scratch and I've only been bitten once, when I first got #1 and was picking her up. She was just a little scared from the car ride.

[MaterBum]

Just to balance the responses, we had a delightful pet hamster that never bit any of us, not once. I had one as a child, too, and it never bit. If you let it sleep until late afternoon, early evening before trying to engage it in play, they are delightful little pets ime. Now the gerbil I had as a kid bit me more times than I could ever count. I'm terrified of them to this day.

Now that being said, I think they are kind of expensive...the bedding adds up quickly, especially if you do a complete cage change each week. And ours went through gnaw sticks pretty quickly. And the cage set up is a bit pricey. I only mention this since you mention you're already strapped with pet costs.

[mistymama]

We were in the pet store last week and someone had dropped off a litter of itty bitty hamsters - I believe the owner said they were Teddy Bear? I've had hamsters before that bit, etc and were a total PITA. But these little guys would literally RUN for your hand and snuggle in it. They were supposed to stay very small and it took everything in me not to come home with one!!

I would get a friendly hamster like that in a heartbeat - one that runs into your hands! But not your typical hamster which for the most part (IMO) makes a kinda unloving and eventually boring pet.

[SunShineSally]

I LOVE the idea as a surprise pet! My ds had one with the last kitty it was a X-mas surprise! he loved it and still to this day talks of how Walle came into our home

A hamster would be the last pet I would do though I have had many and they all ended up nasty no matter how much I spent with them or how young they were when they came home. I would suggest I fancy mouse or 2 They are darling little critters and show lots of love and LOVE LOVE attention!! They are also very silly!

[mamallama]

Thanks sharing experiences.

I haven't ruled out a hamster, but now I'm considering mice as well.

I'm not overly concerned with cost. We've had pocket pets, and I know the ballpark. It's no where near what I spend on my dogs!

My hamster experience has been nothing but positive--except for those little dwarf suckers! Def. won;t be getting one of those!

What about the lifespan issue? Is it ok to give a relatively short lived pet to a child who takes death so hard?

[greenmagick]

Are you allergic to hairless rats? I think they are funny looking, but a lot of people like them

As far as lifespan being ok...well, I think only you and your dd can answer that. Even with a long lifespan, there is no guarantee so its always a bit of a risk.

[2xy]

I don't have any advice on the death issue, but I just wanted to chime in because we had hamsters when my kids were younger, and it was annoying because they were up all night (the hamsters) and slept all day. Most of us are light sleepers, and the squeaking of the wheel and the hamsters chewing on the wires in their cages and such really annoyed us. Plus, when we were up and had time to play with them, they were always asleep.

Hamsters do bite, but usually not out of meanness. They have terrible eyesight, and people often are handling treats for the hamsters while they handle the pets. If your hands smell like food, they will nip. Our hamsters rarely nipped.

I would personally look for a more diurnal creature.

[mamallama]

I don't know about hairless rats--never had contact with them. Dd1 and dh have respiratory/runny eyes reactions to rats. I only get itchy skin. I'm not opposed on aesthetic grounds (they are funny looking!) but I'd hate to take a chance and find out we're allergic. We are of the philosophy that pets are for life, and caring for our rats that we couldn't cuddle with was a real bummer for us and for them.

It's a very good point, but I'm not so concerned with the nocturnal aspect of hamsters. If we get one, it will live in our first floor dining room. We sleep upstairs.

I agree about clean hands and v. gentle handling being key--that has been my experience as well. Dd is the kind of kid who gets that sort of thing. She would also be ok with respecting her pet's natural rhythm and caring for it/playing with it in the evening. She was always very kind about letting our rats sleep during the day.

Since it's so hard for me to decide, should I eliminate the surprise aspect and just ask her if she wants a hamster or mice?

[2xy]

Originally Posted by mamallama

It's a very good point, but I'm not so concerned with the nocturnal aspect of hamsters. If we get one, it will live in our first floor dining room. We sleep upstairs.

So did we.

Just sayin'.

[Whimsical]

Did she already have her birthday? If not, what about buying a cage and few basic supplies to give to her, complete with a gift card or cash, and letting her go to the pet store and choose her own pet?

I've had good and bad experiences with most smaller animals. I got my first gerbils when I was 9. One was a biter, one was incredibly sweet. Our family has two gerbils right now. They're shy but not biters at all. They're jumpier, but they're also out during the day and a lot more fun to watch. They also have a slightly longer lifespan than hamsters. They need to be kept in pairs though. They're very social.

I had a ridiculous amount of hamsters growing up (I came home with one from a pet store that ended up giving birth to 12 babies..oops). Some drove me crazy and were big biters, others were cuddly. The hamster ds has now has never bitten once. Noise-wise, you can buy quality wheels and a decent sized aquarium to prevent all the chewing noises. DS' hamster is in the same room he sleeps in, and it's rarely a problem.

[miss_sonja]

....my mice are hanging out on my shoulders as I type...

love 'em!

[mamallama]

Dh and I did give her a hamster.

She's thrilled--totally over the moon!

Chuckie is a sweet little guy...he's friendly and gentle and tame. The lady at the petshop said a family with children brought in his litter & that they all had been handled frequently.

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

I'm happy with the decision!

[lilyka]

weather or not yourdd would like a hamster is something only she can decide.

I gave my kids guinea pigs when they asked for the. I bought the cage and a water bottle and an igloo and osme food. you know...the basics.

For Christmas that year (a few weeks later) they got a truck load of toys, treats, gadgets etc......it went from pet to super cool ya know. so maybe ask her if she wants an hamster and then get her one and a small cage. then for her birthday get her a totally awesome habitrail system, a fun hamster ball, berhaps a second cage or level whatever.....you can really go nuts with habitat stuff for hamsters...tubes and lopps and levels so fun.

but hamsters are boring. they are nocternal. sleep during the day and make so much noise during the night. I woke up many times to my dds crying for me to make it stop.

[pitbullrescuer]

I was going to say the same thing

[SuzyLee]

My first pet was Spritzer the hampster. He was so sweet. Never bit, we gave him baths in the sink (what was my mom thinknig?) and he didn't mind a bit.

He died at age 2, and then we got Cy the evil biting hampster. That cured my love of hampsters. Now small furry creatures creep me out.

[lexapurple]

Most people who are allergic to rats will also be allergic to other small furies. Mice stink too! Hairless rats will cause as much allergies as regular ones. Allergies are caused mostly by proteins in urine , dendruff and saliva. Hairless rats clean themselves as often as others and there is plenty of dendruf on them too. I love rats and had several when I was a teenager. The last ones I had were two hairless boys and i had to re home them due to allergies.