Anyone heard of this foreskin issue? Trying to convince friend not to circ her son

[msmiranda]

Well, really it's not her, it's her husband who is inclined to have it done . . . because he is intact and wishes he wasn't!!!! If you can believe that. Apparently he finds the hygiene part a "pain the butt," but the main reason he wishes he was circ is because erections are painful for him, he gets tiny tears every time. They have to wait for 3 or 4 days in between each time they have sex. My friend thinks this is somehow tied into the fact that he is, um, well endowed, and there's not enough skin? Has anyone ever heard of this problem? I guess his inclination is to spare his son this problem, but I pointed out that it must be rare and that he should get it fixed if it's causing him that much pain, but there's no reason to hurt the baby because of his issue.

Any chance that not having enough foreskin (if that's what it is) is hereditary? Hoping that someone with more knowledge than me can shed some light on this.

[Storm Bride]

I'd find out what he's doing for hygiene that makes him think it's a pain in the butt. I'm guessing he's doing something too aggressive, and it's contributing to the erection issues. Or, maybe minor adhesions? Could that cause this?

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Tears can also be a sign of yeast infection. It could be that she is passing yeast to him and it's irritating his skin. I happen to know a little about this being an issue...and DH is circed so if that's the problem, circ won't help. :

[msmiranda]

That's really helpful, because she also said that he has a chronic problem getting yeast infections from sex as well. So maybe it is not a problem that would be solved by circ at all?? Would he visit a urologist to have it checked out? I would really love it if the problem he's having isn't related at all to having foreskin. How would it be treated if it is about yeast? My friend is due in late November, so if we could get his problem diagnosed soon, I'm sure they would decide against circ.

[mysticmomma]

if it is yeast, they both need to be treated!

[FernG]

1) they both need to be cultured to find out if it is an infection and what type it is.

2) how was he cared for as an infant? even today many drs tell parents to retract (AKA rip the foreskin off the glans) and clean under it. decades ago, it was the standard of care. this could have caused the hubby's foreskin to be stiff with scare tissue. if this is the case, could they look into treatments to help break up the scar tissue? would the hormone creams help in this case?

3) i agree that the hubby's current washing could cause problems. my female friend was having some pain, itching, and stink problems. i talked to her about her hygiene and she was scrubbing daily w/ soap b/c "it's the only way to keep the smell/itching down." i advised that she might be killing all the good flora and the scrubbing was also wiping out the bad flora but then the bad stuff would regrow and cause problems. she stopped scrubbing BUT ALSO took large doses of probiotics orally as well as spreading some on her vulva/vaginal area. this eventually solved the issue. she also didn't know what smegma was and thought it was dirty. i educated her about the functions of smegma so that she didn't feel compelled to scrub it off.

they should call doctors opposing circ or some other foreskin-knowledgeable medical association to get advice.

[tutucrazy]

If he gets circed erections will be even more painful b/c there will be less skin for the penis to grow into during erection.

He must have yeast or be washing himself with some type of soap. This will dry the skin out and cause an imbalance in the flora. Yeast is highly likely! I would treat him for yeast even if the culture comes negative b/c many men with negative cultures actually still have yeast. For cleaning he should only rinse with water and use a very mild soap if necessary. This should be rinsed immediately so it does not cause irritation or flora imbalance.

If the tear is occurring underneath the penis at his frenulum, then he has a frenulum breve. This simply means his frenulum is short. A frenuloplasty is a minor procedure that will fix it. This procedure is similar to what is done with infants who have tongue tie. It will allow the frenulum to lengthen.

Either way amputation is not necessary.

BTW, he NEEDS to get on a probiotic supplement too!

[Fyrestorm]

He might also have an issue with his foreskin being tight. This is easily remedied with a steroid cream.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

...and stretching (adding to fyrestorms post )

[Papai]

The tearing sounds like he's not able to retract all the way. If he's able to retract comfortably, there shouldn't be tearing.

And if his foreskin is THAT dry, there's something wrong. Yeast definitely sounds like a culprit. Is he on any antibiotics?

I'd point out that this mucosal area is similar to the lips. When your lips are too dry, they chap and crack and peel. But nobody rushes to cut off their lips. They just buy chapstick.

[Monarchgrrl]

I don't have anything in the way of advice for the guy or you, but I do know that all three of DW's intact brothers wish they were not. One of them even had his son circed because of it. I don't know the exact problem, but like you describe with it hurting and tearing a little. I didn't think to ask specific questions because when they were talking about it around me, I didn't have an interest because I wasn't on these boards yet and already knew I wouldn't get it done. One brother (the most vocal about the issue) I know is very well endowed (DW says- I wouldn't actually know. ew) Even with that, DW is against circing, but I've heard first hand about the issue you're talking about.

[Fyrestorm]

All these men wishing they were cut.....why not go do it?

Oh, I know... they don't want anyone cutting up their genitals...but it's okee dokey to do it to a baby

I sense such a huge disconnect here

[Monarchgrrl]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

All these men wishing they were cut.....why not go do it?

Oh, I know... they don't want anyone cutting up their genitals...but it's okee dokey to do it to a baby

I sense such a huge disconnect here

I agree. In my BIL's case, he did have something done. Not sure what exactly. Something was snipped, released a bit, um...something. He walked funny for a bit and had to sit with ice in his lap for a few days. He didn't actually have the circumcision done, though. I don't know how he could have done that to his son after experiencing that pain as an adult.

[Quirky]

Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl

I don't have anything in the way of advice for the guy or you, but I do know that all three of DW's intact brothers wish they were not. One of them even had his son circed because of it. I don't know the exact problem, but like you describe with it hurting and tearing a little. I didn't think to ask specific questions because when they were talking about it around me, I didn't have an interest because I wasn't on these boards yet and already knew I wouldn't get it done. One brother (the most vocal about the issue) I know is very well endowed (DW says- I wouldn't actually know. ew) Even with that, DW is against circing, but I've heard first hand about the issue you're talking about.

but again, as pointed out above, surgery is most likely not needed to cure the problem. any more than you'd want to cut off a girl's labia because her mother had problems with irritation/yeast. you might want to send your brothers this thread.

yeast can be like an std in that partners can pass it back and forth -- so both need to be treated at the same time to get rid of it. dietary changes and probiotics help, as does a mild cleaning regimen if overcleaning is contributing to the problem.

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl

I agree. In my BIL's case, he did have something done. Not sure what exactly. Something was snipped, released a bit, um...something. He walked funny for a bit and had to sit with ice in his lap for a few days. He didn't actually have the circumcision done, though. I don't know how he could have done that to his son after experiencing that pain as an adult.

This may be waaaayyyy too much TMI for you since it was your brother, but what he had was most likely a dorsal slit.

http://www.male-initiation.net/circumcision/dorsal.html

[MammaB21]

I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if I've missed some responses.
Let me get this straight. He thinks he doesn't have ENOUGH forskin, so he plans to cut off all of his sons so that he doesn't experience the same problem? Ya. That makes a lot of sense.

My best advice here is do as others have said, first they both need to be tested, and find out what is causing the pain, because it isn't normal. Second, just do your best to gently educate on the subject. My DP is uncircumcised, and has told me that until recently he has always felt embarassed by it. As a child growing up, he was an outsider. As he aged, fortunatley, he realized he was part of the lucky few. Is it possible he is also carrying some embarassment by it? Maybe some education on the subject would enlighten him? Good luck.