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Would you hire a HB midwife who chose a section for her own birth?

post #1 of 65
8/25/09 at 7:45pm
Thread Starter 
Well...the title pretty much says it all.
The midwife in question is a LM, in a state where LM's are legal. She had one baby a couple years ago (so not like..way back when times were different or anything). She labored at home..had a long labor, slow progress, not unlike many first time moms....and then, basically got tired of laboring, went to the hospital, and considered augmentation, but decided she just "didn't want to labor anymore" so she chose an elective section. (she herself says the section wasn't medically necesary, the baby wasn't in trouble, she just "didn't want to" labor anymore. )

Words can not describe the enormity of the giant, neon, blinking red flag this sends up for me...how about you? I'm not bashing personal birth choice or her personal right to choose her own birthing place and method..but uuuhhh....it just rubs me wrong that she chose an elective section rather than a natural labor and delivery, but yet is supposedly going to help support other women to have their baby naturally??
What do you guys think?

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post #2 of 65
8/25/09 at 7:47pm
Um, NO. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that at all.
post #3 of 65
8/25/09 at 7:51pm
I agree, I'd be wary of choosing a midwife who chose a c-section for non-medically-necessary reasons. Like you said, she has a right to choose that, but I'd wonder if she'd be as supportive of me in a situation where a c-section might be convenient but not necessary. Just my $0.02.
post #4 of 65
8/25/09 at 7:52pm
I guess it would depend. I know someone who labored hard for 3 days and pushed for 9 hours in every position possible and decided to go in for a section, even though baby's HR was good. In a case like that, I would feel she probably made the right decision. We're only human after all. If she went in after 12 hours I'd feel differently.
post #5 of 65
8/25/09 at 9:21pm
I probably would if I felt she was a good fit in every other way. I didn't even think to ask when we were interviewing the last time what the midwive's personal birth story was. I was simply more interested in hearing about her practice.
post #6 of 65
8/25/09 at 9:22pm
Thread Starter 
oh..hi shauna, lol. I am bouncing back and forth between c-s.org and here, and you really confused me for a minute, LOL!
It was about 24 hours, and (again in her own words) there were no indications anything was wrong, or that the baby wasn't coming out, she hadn't reached pushing yet, she just didn't want to do it anymore, it was "taking too long". She said she was in some pain, but that wasn't the reason(she could have just opted for an epidural if she just wanted pain relief), and she has smiling pics of her in the hospital elevator.
It just sort of..makes my tummy a bit wobbly, and doesn't feel "right" to me.
post #7 of 65
8/25/09 at 9:29pm
With the information that you have provided, no I wouldn't choose her.

I should add that I am really basing this decision on the fact that you just don't seem comfortable with her. If you are uneasy about this in the beginning, that will not get better over time, only worse.
post #8 of 65
8/25/09 at 9:39pm
I might. It depends on the midwife and her personal style. I think that midwives can sometimes get caught up in their head during their own baby's birth and I would not hold that against them.

One of my midwives had had 3 cesarean births, but she tried for a vaginal birth with each.
post #9 of 65
8/25/09 at 9:44pm
Would you want someone to hold you responsible for decisions you made in the throes of labor? I don't think it's fair. Talk to her references, let her work speak for itself.
post #10 of 65
8/25/09 at 9:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
oh..hi shauna, lol. I am bouncing back and forth between c-s.org and here, and you really confused me for a minute, LOL!
It was about 24 hours, and (again in her own words) there were no indications anything was wrong, or that the baby wasn't coming out, she hadn't reached pushing yet, she just didn't want to do it anymore, it was "taking too long". She said she was in some pain, but that wasn't the reason(she could have just opted for an epidural if she just wanted pain relief), and she has smiling pics of her in the hospital elevator.
It just sort of..makes my tummy a bit wobbly, and doesn't feel "right" to me.
Well I think you should always go with your gut. I probably wouldn't feel right about it either.
post #11 of 65
8/25/09 at 10:43pm
I would not choose her.
Everyone has a right to their decisions, but as a first time mother, she would not be the choice for me.
post #12 of 65
8/26/09 at 12:04am
No way. I had a very long labor (42 hours) and second stage (4 hrs., 40 min.) (HBAC). I don't think I could have done it with a MW who would have considered transferring w/o a medical need.
post #13 of 65
8/26/09 at 12:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by nashvillemidwife View Post
Would you want someone to hold you responsible for decisions you made in the throes of labor? I don't think it's fair. Talk to her references, let her work speak for itself.
I agree. And I doubt you have the full story. She may not be comfortable sharing such intensely personal information about her birth and what led her to the decision that she made.
post #14 of 65
8/26/09 at 12:15am
Just maybe you should talk to some of her references about how she handled their labors before passing judgment on her skills and abilities as a midwife based on something that may not be related to her professional skills and abilities. I would hate to think people would judge me on my abilities based on the decisions I made for myself. I drank 3 bottles of castor oil, nipple stimulation with a breast pump for 90 minutes at a time, stayed home for 30 hours with sky high blood pressure and slow progress. I was foolish and put myself and my baby in danger, which is something I could not appreciate at the time. The decisions I made for myself are in no way a reflection of the recommendations and care I would have given someone else.
post #15 of 65
8/26/09 at 12:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie1080 View Post
I agree. And I doubt you have the full story. She may not be comfortable sharing such intensely personal information about her birth and what led her to the decision that she made.
I don't share all the details of my birth with strangers. I had my baby in the hospital with a doctor and an epidural. It's really none of anyone's business that I was in hypertensive crisis and an epidural to bring down my blood pressure was the only thing that saved me from a c-section, or that I tried laboring at home for 30 hours before I went to the hospital despite having told my doctor I wouldn't labor at home. I also don't tell them that after all that I only pushed for 10 minutes. That's something I'm rather proud of, but it doesn't make it anyone's business.
post #16 of 65
8/26/09 at 12:40am
If that is truly what happened, then NO, I would not be comfortable with that midwife.

But then again, my MW has never given birth (to my knowledge), and I bet some would be uncomfortable with that as well.
post #17 of 65
8/26/09 at 12:49am
I'd be much more concerned about how she's handled other births she's attended than how she handled her own. This is especially true if her c/s was a long time ago and she's had time to learn and grow since then. Perhaps her own birth was a catalyst for "discovering what's wrong with the medical model of birth."

What worries me, more than her birthing choice, is WHY she's sharing this information with potential clients! It seems like personal information to be sharing with relative strangers. Does she have an issue with appropriate boundaries?

I'd also ask you what your gut instincts are about her. When I met the lay midwife who attended my daughters' births, I didn't ask her too many technical questions, and I certainly didn't ask her about her own births! (I only know that she HAD births because we met in her home and I saw her kids in the next room.) Basically I was there to "feel her out", to see if we "clicked". We did, and I didn't bother interviewing any more midwives. I'd also gotten two separate recomendations for her (by women who'd birthed with her) so I didn't feel the need to get any references after the fact.
post #18 of 65
8/26/09 at 1:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
What worries me, more than her birthing choice, is WHY she's sharing this information with potential clients! It seems like personal information to be sharing with relative strangers. Does she have an issue with appropriate boundaries?

I'd also ask you what your gut instincts are about her. When I met the lay midwife who attended my daughters' births, I didn't ask her too many technical questions, and I certainly didn't ask her about her own births!
I wish everyone felt the way you do, but the fact is you are a in a very tiny minority. Asking about my own reproductive history is usually high on a client's interview list, though I'm sure they have never thought of it in those terms. "Do you have children?" is bad enough, but during the 9 childless years I spent as a midwife some people even had the nerve to ask me if I wanted children.
post #19 of 65
8/26/09 at 1:07am
I would be hesitant, as well. Although I guess I may reconsider if I liked her a LOT.
post #20 of 65
8/26/09 at 1:12am
I wouldn't.

She may be a fab. midwife, but she wouldn't be what I was looking for.

-Angela
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Homebirth › Would you hire a HB midwife who chose a section for her own birth?