my dh cut my baby boy's hair!

[HannahsMomma]

I'm so sad right now. Dh cut my ds hair. I was working and my dh was home with the littles. My ds is at the start of chicken pox (we think) and he has a bit of a rash on the back of his neck where his hair was covering. I had mentioned to my husband about trimming ds hair soon. Well tonight dh cut ds hair SHORT. I still can't believe it! I was so sad/mad that I just cried. His baby hair is gone. It was beautiful and wavy.
Dh is sleeping now. He didn't get up after we put the kids down. We always get up and talk or watch a show. Not tonight. I don't even know what I am going to say to him tomorrow!

argh!

[henny penny]

I'm sad for you!! My ds is 22 months with gorgeous curls and I've yet to manage more than one snip over his ears; and that almost made me cry! Try not to be too hard on dh. Sounds like he had ds's comfort in mind; and maybe baby hair doesn't effect daddies in quite the same way it does mamas. But still, I understand you are mighty :.

[HannahsMomma]

Thank you. I tried not to overreact but I couldn't help but cry. I know dh would never do this to hurt anyone. I just wish I could time travel!

[baglady]

I'm sorry. That must be so disappointing. Maybe it's better that you have a full night to calm down. It would be for me anyway, but I have quite the vicious temper.

[pokeyrin]

DD was 5 months old and her hair was getting long and in her eyes. DH mentioned it was getting long, I went to work, came home and found that he had trimmed a good piece of it off. It was so sad for me because I didn't want her hair cut and it was her first cut and I wasn't there for it. I cried (and I'm not the crying type) and I had to give him some grief about it, so I completely understand!

[Kidzaplenty]

I am so sorry. My DH would never dare to touch the children's hair, but I can imagine.

[becoming]

OMG, I would be really upset, too. I'm sorry, mama.

[lilyka]

Maybe it didn't occur to him it was such a big deal to you. You said you wanted to get his hair cut soon and your dh decided to take his son for his first hair cut. He was probably just trying to help.

It is also possible he really wanted it cut and felt like you weren't hearing him or willing to listen. when you said cut he took it as permission finally.

[Youngfrankenstein]

^ That, pretty much.

[childsplay]

Awww.That's awful.
It sounds like your DH feels like poop though, I remember when my DH accidentally deleted some of our DS's newborn pictures, I just cried and he just disapeared into the bedroom for a long time. He was so upset that he had hurt me when he was only trying to do something good/helpful (putting them on cd) .
Don't be hard on him, it wasn't done with ill intentions....
Can you save a few locks of the baby hair and tuck them away somewhere?

[Frootloop]

Originally Posted by lilyka

Maybe it didn't occur to him it was such a big deal to you. You said you wanted to get his hair cut soon and your dh decided to take his son for his first hair cut. He was probably just trying to help.

It is also possible he really wanted it cut and felt like you weren't hearing him or willing to listen. when you said cut he took it as permission finally.

Hmmm, I didn't take her post as he took their DS for a haircut, I took it as he did it himself.

I would still be upset if that were the case, but I wouldn't be near as upset as my DH taking it upon himself to cut his hair.

OP, can you clarify? I'm so sorry about your DS's hair. I would cry, too. Baby hair is pretty important to many mamas

[HannahsMomma]

Dh cut it himself. I had spoken to him earlier yesterday about trimming ds hair not cutting it short. He had long wavy hair and now there are no waves left. It's really short.
I still haven't spoken to dh yet. He went to work before we woke up. I know he heard me crying last night. He is probably really upset too. I'm sure he was just trying to help. And yes I know it's just hair but I'm still sad.

[nummies]

My son has longer hair too. We waited until he was 18months to even cut the tinest bit off because I just loved it so much. I would be really sad too.

[THANKFULFORFIVE]

awww...sorry this is so upsetting for you. I guess I'm in the minority here about baby's first haircut....we were always so excited to do it! I love the way it makes them look like a little boy.....maybe dh was looking at it as a daddy/son bonding thing? Actually I'm quite impressed that he took the initiative to do it himself, not all daddy's are so "hands on" with stuff like this!

[Frootloop]

Originally Posted by HannahsMomma

Dh cut it himself. I had spoken to him earlier yesterday about trimming ds hair not cutting it short. He had long wavy hair and now there are no waves left. It's really short.
I still haven't spoken to dh yet. He went to work before we woke up. I know he heard me crying last night. He is probably really upset too. I'm sure he was just trying to help. And yes I know it's just hair but I'm still sad.

Thanks for the clarification. Yes, I would also be crushed and pretty angry about it, myself. I know that I cried like a baby when DD got hold of some scissors when she was 3 years old and managed to cut huge chunks out of her waist length hair. We had to cut it over her ears to try to even it up, and even then it still had chunks missing. It crushed me and it wasn't even her first haircut!

I'm so sorry your DH took it upon himself to do that. I'm sure he just didn't understand the significance of that 1st haircut with many mamas and how much it meant to you. He probably feels terrible, as well, although I know that doesn't make you feel any less crushed!

[HannahsMomma]

THANKFULFORFIVE that's true. Dh is an awesome dad and partner. We're really lucky to have him.

[Asparagus78]

Originally Posted by THANKFULFORFIVE

Actually I'm quite impressed that he took the initiative to do it himself, not all daddy's are so "hands on" with stuff like this!

Me too! I'd be sad about seeing the baby hair go, but happy about DH doing it. I'm sure he didn't do it to make you sad; he probably thought you'd be happy! I wouldn't be too hard on him.

[cschick]

Originally Posted by Asparagus78

Me too! I'd be sad about seeing the baby hair go, but happy about DH doing it. I'm sure he didn't do it to make you sad; he probably thought you'd be happy! I wouldn't be too hard on him.

The hair cutting has become one of my kid's and his dad's "things": first they clip dad's hair, then they clip the kid's hair. Sure, it means that both of them are generally in basic buzz cuts, but it's their thing.

[grahamsmom98]

It's hair. It will grow back.

I find it sad that you are referring to your son as my baby boy, instead of "our" baby boy. Parents are partners.

You'd already discussed cutting the hair (trimming/cutting, the end result is the same) and no length/amount was specified. He was obviously trying to make a sick child more comfortable.

[HannahsMomma]

Originally Posted by grahamsmom98

It's hair. It will grow back.

I find it sad that you are referring to your son as my baby boy, instead of "our" baby boy. Parents are partners.

You'd already discussed cutting the hair (trimming/cutting, the end result is the same) and no length/amount was specified. He was obviously trying to make a sick child more comfortable.

True. I didn't even realise I did that. We are a great team. Dh is the best partner I could ever dream of having. I am greatful that he does so much for us. This is really the only time I've felt this upset at him. I'm not angry anymore. I guess I placed too much importance on ds hair. I just never thought we were going to cut it short. We both talked about how sweet he looked with his hair. I also loved twirling his hair while I nursed him or rubbed his head to sleep. I think ds may be our last baby and maybe I'm holding on to him staying a baby for as long as I can.

*I should also add that dh did a really good job of the cut.