Nursing in Public.

[Beauchamp]

I keep saying that we can't go out because my DD needs to nurse so often. But really, it's not her problem, it's MINE. I have a slight issue with modesty and people staring. (They have, around here, the couple times I've done it, even with a blanket/scarf over me.)

But my bigger issue is the lack of "stuff" that I have available at home. At home, we nurse with lots of pillows, the Boppy, blankets, etc. DD nurses a long time. It's not a quick 10 minutes and she unlatches, fully satisfied. It seems to be more of an event, one that requires so many props!

How do you go from using all your pillows and blankets in your favorite chair, to just holding her in a cradle hold, with no support, balancing a blanket on your shoulder??? Not very comfy, IMO. Maybe that's why I am so reluctant to do it. I don't think I have the muscle tone for that!!

Any tips for NIP?

[Oka-san]

I think the key is just practice! Maybe, since you feel sensitive about it, you could practice at home, trying to nurse without your favorite props? That way you wouldn’t have to worry if it was awkward or anything – you could sit in a regular chair at your house that’s similar to, say, a restaurant chair, and get used to how it feels without feeling self-conscious (and build those arm muscles too!) Once you feel more comfortable with doing it that way at home, that would probably help you do it out in public.

That’s all I’ve got – good luck, my little boy was born just three days after your baby girl. : Sending you good NIP vibes!!

[docta]

I felt the same as you, but it became easier for me with time.

I tried to use a sling at times in public (I still needed to sit down and get arranged--I wasn't walking through the grocery store or anything), or other times ended up going to my car to nurse since I wasn't comfortable.

Using a ring sling is really helpful once you get the hang of it because it will hold her up so you don't have to do all the work and so that you also have some good coverage. it takes a bit of practice to use it & nurse, but once my daughter was used to it she would get excited to see the sling.

My daughter is now 4 mos, and since she is pretty good at moving into position & latching on, I don't need all the pillows, props, etc any more...although I am still shy about it in public...so still use the sling!

[_betsy_]

With DD1, we used the pillow every time we nursed. NIP always seemed like a logistical nightmare and too much hassle. I don't think I ever did it, and we nursed for 20 months.

With DD2, we nurse whenever/wherever, no blankets or pillows needed.

I don't know if it's a difference in kids, or me/my attitude or what.

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

With DD1, we used the pillow every time we nursed. NIP always seemed like a logistical nightmare and too much hassle. I don't think I ever did it, and we nursed for 20 months.

You know, I'm so glad to hear this. This is exactly how I feel now. Your post makes me feel like I am not a complete alien for feeling the way I do. It seems like *everyone* is NIP except me. And although I know that's not true, it FEELS true. I'm glad to hear that somehow it gets easier with time, or a second child.

[_betsy_]

The only place DD1 and I ever nursed that wasn't private was ina BFing friend's home, LLL, stuff like that. otherwise, i excused myself to a quiet spot.

With DD2, we nurse in the middle of the mall, at church, wherever.

Maybe that's in part because DD2 is a very different style of nurser than DD1 was. DD2 is focused, nurses for 5 minutes or less on one side, and is done. DD1 would linger for 15 minutes, want the other side, pop off often, want to switch sides, etc.

[Red Pajama]

I also use pillows at home, but out in public I do ok if I just have one leg propped, or crossed under the baby. The leg under her head needs to be higher for me to be comfortable. I also with this baby figured out how to nurse in a sling, which makes nursing while out and about so much easier, because once she's latched I can continue with the rest of my outing. I really wish I would have figured that out with my twins. It would have made life so much easier with them.

As for the modesty thing, well, there's a lot to be said about having a 'devil may care" attitude about it. If I need to nurse in a public area, I just do it, and then carry on the conversation I was before hand. I don't make eye contact with the people milling about, which I just noticed about myself last weekend. I guess it feels like welcoming comments if I make eye contact.

Logistics of nursing in public? I use a soft cup bra and pull the bottom of the bra up to expose my breast to the baby, and lift my shirt to nurse. Nothing can be seen unless she quickly and unexpectedly unlatches, and even then I can cover myself quickly.
This works for me because I'm large chested. However, if you're not large chested, nursing in a sling might be lots easier for you than it is for me.

Good Luck. I know I felt a lot better about things when I could nurse in public without worrying about what others thought. It was a process, and at some point I just realized that this is what my babies needed, and it had to be done. Other people's comfort had to be a secondary concern of mine. And what I've noticed is that those people I was worried about offending haven't really noticed or cared.

[dachshund mom]

Is there a LLL or mom's group in your area? Those are good places to practice, among women who've been there. You could even go to a park and find a private bench to practice.

I use my crossed leg and maybe a rolled up blanket.

In my limited experience, babies will start nursing less often and for shorter periods of time and getting out will get easier. We rarely nip at 5.5mo. I feed her before we go out and we're back within a couple hours. Your lo is still so young.

[pixiekisses]

We use a wrap, elastic the first few months and a woven later. Or a Mei Tai later on.
I don't use slings as much bc I don't think they are comfortable to carry in for more than very short periods of time, but you can use those too.
It offers support and some cover if you feel you need it.
Where we live we don't cover up to nurse in public, so I've never used a blankie/scarf over me, even without carriers nobody covers up. It's totally normal to BF in public here.
If we were sitting down somewhere with the baby out of the wrap I'd just prop my leg, and roll up a blankie or summat under my arm, use the armrest of the chair, whatever.

[cyclamen]

holding baby at keyboard.

After dd was born I was so weak I had to have someone else lift her and roll her next to me, so I totally understand feeling "too weak" to do it without the props. Actually I still feel that way sometimes and she is almost 3mo, and we go on almost daily walks.

The sling really helps - even to build core strength, to dimish trhat guts falling out and can't breathe feeling, .

Also, we were having a lot of latch problems and in the end I basically let her self-attach ("baby-led latch") as that is least painful for me. Also I read somewhere that in trying to nurse standing, you and the baby tend to assume the most supportive postrue because you are more worried about dropping the baby than positioning. So by not thinking about it, you actally end up with the best position. So I tried doing that. Now I can nurse her standing, walking aound, etc - though it is not something I do all the time, that translated to me finding a more comfortable seated poition. My arms and back ached at first but now I have begun to feel much better.

For in public, I have a blankie that I wrap around my side boob if I'm coming from out the top of my shirt. It just looks like we're cuddling.

In some circumstances, I'm wary about NOT covering up, as she and I have been perved on in public before, and I'll probably resort to violence if it ever happens again.

[KarlaC]

Nak

No way I would try it yet. Cody is almost 2 months old & we're totally pillow dependent :/

I tried a sling @ home, not happening since my boobs totally smoosh & cover his nose in it I probably need more practice but honestly I'm too hung up on showing anything in public.

[femalephish]

nak

i have an extra boppy in my car, really. i don't always need it now, my dd is 2 months. but it's nice to have it and if i can't find agood, comfy spot to nurse, or if we end up out for alot longer than i planned, we can hang out in the quiet car andnurse comortably.


i just this past week became better at nursing with no pillows or support. and i can only do it well with my left arm- so don't feel bad!

[RedPony]

Practice practice practice! I nurse where I'm at, meaning I try and take advantage of empty chairs, quiet corners, dressing rooms and the like if they're available and the baby is hungry. Otherwise I'm more than happy to nurse in the public eye. Things get so much easier as baby gets older, too. I've used a blanket twice, once w/ each child, both times in church, and boy, what a pain. Not for me or my babes! I ended up calling more attention to myself than I would have otherwise.

I also find it easiest to sit down and cross my legs getting one knee higher (the side that she's nursing on) than the other. Sometimes I try and prop up that same arm on a table or chair edge. I also try and nurse in my slings which I haven't mastered by any means, but I can get it done if I need to!

[tbone_kneegrabber]

When ds was little I nursed him in a snugglie, not the ideal "carrier" but it worked really well for us for nursing. I'd just loosen it and then pull up my shirt and down teh nursing tank and latch him on. I also practiced nursing at home without pillows. And I have heard the advice of looking in the mirror while you nurse so you see what others see and then know you are really showing that much. Nursing tanks were really great for me in the begining and then in colder months because then your stomach isn't exposed.

[mamadelbosque]

With DS1 I always considerd nursing at home in my chair 'comfort nursing' and once we had nursing down (by ~1 month) we nursed anywhere and everywhere (though I was never good at nursing on-the-go in a sling/carrier). But, I'm not a super modest person and never botherd to cover - seemed like that only added to the hassle of nursing and wasn't worth it to me. Frankly if somebody was getting off on my 1/2 a boob that was showing (really, its no more than what you'd see in a swim suit!), then fine, whatever. I just refused to let it bother me and gave people who gave me funny looks dirty looks The only time I was ever told/asked to nurse somewhere else was at the YMCA of all places. To which I simply refused (really, it was their fault - I was in lifeguarding class and the nursery closed at 8:30 while my class went to 9:00 - wtf was I supposed to do with DS???), and then wrote them a nasty letter when they threatened to kick me out, untill they relented that yeah, they were wrong!!

[Peony]

I've never been one to need any Boppys/pillows so nursing out somewhere is no different then at home Although at home I have my laptop and a couch. Practice is key though, practice in front of a mirror. Some women find certain clothes make them feel more comfortable NIP, not even bfing clothes, but maybe a tanktop under a tee.


There is always the car as well! If given the choice I will often head to the car to bf. It isn't about privacy for me but a safe place to keep all my children contained while feeding the baby, otherwise I am chasing around kids while bfing.

[JessieBird]

I agree with pp who said practice and for sure try out different props that are more portable than pillows (ie sling). For me, it got much easier as DS got bigger. He is a lot heavier but can help to hold himself in position and is taller so doesn't need the boost to reach my (small) boob. Hopefully it will get easier for you as time goes on and your baby grows.

The only other advice I'd have is to start off in safe places and make a plan to do it as an exercise. That's how I got over my modesty. First I chose my local coffee shop that has an upstairs where there is hardly ever anyone else around. Even all by myself up there, I still felt shy and nervous at the slightest sound that someone might be coming! Next I found out which malls had the nicest nursing rooms and headed out to them. This strategy allowed me to practice getting over my shyness and figure out how to nurse in a strange chair without my pillows, etc, and also to figure out what sort of clothes and cover work best for me when we're out and about. One thing I discovered is that fussing with a big nursing cover feels like I'm drawing more attention (and DS hates them) than using a small lightweight blanket or just strategically positioning the bunches of my shirt and DS's head. When it comes to covering up and being modest, sometimes less is more! (or simpler is better) Something to keep in mind too is that people who are uneasy around a nursing mom will look away and every one else just won't even notice, especially once you feel calm and comfortable about it.

One last thing - a trick for "balancing" a blanket over your shoulder is to tie a knot in one corner. Throw the knot end over your shoulder. This gives it a bit of weight to help it stay put and also bunches it nicely so it fans over where you need it to cover.

[Carhootel]

I remember at LLL one leader telling me about how she kept pillows in her car for the first 6 months so she could be comfortable nursing if she went out - if it's important to you I'd definitely try it. I have an extra blanket in the car for a variety of purposes but since my ds was born it's been folded into a pillow post of the time to aid us in nursing when we're out.

[alegna]

Just do it. Decide you're going to, and do it.

With dd we had a lot of problems in the beginning and at first it seemed overwhelming, but I wasn't about to be cooped up, so I did it. And it got easier.

I can hold a (big) nursing toddler and push a cart at the same time now

-Angela

[pastrygirl]

I practiced where I would be more comfortable -- LLL meetings, the nursing room at BRU, and posh dressing rooms like the ones at Nordstrom (if I needed to go to the mall). Doing that eventually made me much more comfortable with NIP at restaurants and other ordinary locations.

I remember being envious in the BRU nursing room once at how quickly and quietly another mom nursed. My baby took forever (45 minutes) and was LOUD (sputtering, coughing, etc.). I finally got to that point, but not until about 5 or 6 months.