Nursing in Public. - Page 2

[justKate]

Originally Posted by pastrygirl

I practiced where I would be more comfortable -- LLL meetings, the nursing room at BRU, and posh dressing rooms like the ones at Nordstrom (if I needed to go to the mall). Doing that eventually made me much more comfortable with NIP at restaurants and other ordinary locations.

I remember being envious in the BRU nursing room once at how quickly and quietly another mom nursed. My baby took forever (45 minutes) and was LOUD (sputtering, coughing, etc.). I finally got to that point, but not until about 5 or 6 months.

This is totally me. Start slow--in the car, nursing rooms, etc. My baby (6 mos.) is still a loud nurser, but we're generally in loud places when she needs it. So my advice is get one of these: nursing wrap This one is good because it goes all around you like a poncho, so there are no gaps on the sides to worry about.

Then start in a car. Then a nursing room or bathroom with a sitting area. Then a private booth in a noisy restaurant! That's as far as I've gotten yet. DD sputters and makes a mess, so I use a receiving blanket to soak up any messes, and cross one leg to sort of prop her up a little. you could also use a small pillow that would fit in your diaper bag. The one I used for a while came with the ring sling I bought, although I've never been able to nurse in the sling.

Good luck! You'll get it down, it just takes time. And bravery!

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Oh sweetie do I feel your pain, DD is 4 weeks old and nursing well with a nipple shield, which is a logistical nightmare in public to put on discreetly.


We were out two days ago at a restaurant and well she needed to nurse. I usually bring a bottle which she hates and stresses me out and stresses her out for the rest of the day because I think she might think I am taking the boob away. I did exactly what Alegna said, I just did it. I propped the baby in front of my breast, and took out my breast as discreetly as possible put on the nipple shield and latched Anna. I got a little anxious, but she latched. Some people looked and I just smiled and they looked away. I was SO proud.

I will say I rarely nurse with pillows or anything because I wanted to get used to holding her while nursing for this very reason. You will get stronger and more used to holding your nursling. If people stare, well they stare. If you are really uncomfortable use a fitting room or maybe go out to your car if need be. You will get more and more comfortable as time goes on...

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Originally Posted by pastrygirl

I practiced where I would be more comfortable -- LLL meetings, the nursing room at BRU, and posh dressing rooms like the ones at Nordstrom (if I needed to go to the mall). Doing that eventually made me much more comfortable with NIP at restaurants and other ordinary locations.

I remember being envious in the BRU nursing room once at how quickly and quietly another mom nursed. My baby took forever (45 minutes) and was LOUD (sputtering, coughing, etc.). I finally got to that point, but not until about 5 or 6 months.

YEAH this is TOTALLY my baby. LOL

[wombatclay]

Neither of my kiddos would tolerate a cover... they wanted to watch thte world. I did try a few times but really the "fight with the blanket" attracted waaaaaay more attention than the nursing, and I was never particularly body shy so I just went with what worked for both of us.

I totally agree with pp that practice is crucial. You need to feel comfy without the props before you can feel confident NIP. So give it a try at home... nurse in an armchair using the arm for support, then try an armless chair with crossed legs. Try a sling or wrap. Try sitting cross legged on the floor. See if your purse or diaper bag held in your lap might double as a "pillow".

Then once you feel more secure nursing without props (or with mobile props) try NIP in supported places. Maybe nurse in your own home while you have friends over. Then nurse in a friend's home, LLL meeting, AP or NINO or Holistic Moms group meeting. Then nurse in a park or quiet (mostly empty) cafe. Is there a mama friendly shop near you? Maybe one with the breastfeeding symbol in the window? As you get more comfortable, maybe a busier store that still supports breastfeeding like IKEA or a family museum (our local science museum has "loaner boppies" in the young children's area)? Maybe a farmer's market?

Pretty soon you'll be confident, comfortable, and offering btdt support too! Just give yourself time and lots of credit for every step along the way!

[lisa133]

I wish we all felt more comfortable nursing in public. I live in NJ and I can count on my hand how many women I see NIP in a week or maybe even a month and I am out all of the time! I was more uncomfortable with my first but did it anyway. Now, I really don't care anymore. I have to use a nursing cover (they didn't really make good ones with my first). I have weird boobs and I can't nurse in a cradle hold (which offers the most discretion). I have to have my entire boob out and old it with the hand I am nursing with. I can nurse pretty easily though (although now DS likes to yank it off and have me flash the world). I was able to nurse DS at 8 weeks all over Disney World (walking around and everything). Quite a site!

Of course the covers might as well have a big sign that says "baby nursing in here" but that is ok.

Personally, if I am out in a mall or anywhere with a dressing room, I would much rather nurse in there than a restroom. I hate nursing in those nice restrooms with couches b/c I feel like you are even more on display than sitting on a bench in the mall. Everyone walks in a stares at you. I might go to a dressing room or just sit anywhere.

My problem is that I nurse my son so often. I think that is why people stare (she is feeding that baby again!!) But the older they get the easier it gets I think.

If I had a penny of for every woman I saw feeding her baby a bottle in public I would be a billionaire! I would love to see more women out there NIP!

[justKate]

Originally Posted by Beauchamp

I keep saying that we can't go out because my DD needs to nurse so often. But really, it's not her problem, it's MINE. I have a slight issue with modesty and people staring. (They have, around here, the couple times I've done it, even with a blanket/scarf over me.)

OP, I know you mentioned NIP with a scarf or blanket, but if you want to try the nursing cover, I have an extra one I'll give you. I liked it so much I bought a second, but I really don't use it because it's just a little different than my favorite. I'm in Austin, TX, but could mail it to you. PM me if you're interested.

ETA: it's solid black.

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by justKate

OP, I know you mentioned NIP with a scarf or blanket, but if you want to try the nursing cover, I have an extra one I'll give you. I liked it so much I bought a second, but I really don't use it because it's just a little different than my favorite. I'm in Austin, TX, but could mail it to you. PM me if you're interested.

ETA: it's solid black.

wow. thanks! I sent you a PM.

[nurturebaby]

I am just now beginning to feel comfortable NIP and this is my second BF'd baby.

One thing that has helped me TREMENDOUSLY is a shawl from www.modestmomz.com Seriously, this is the best nursing cover ever. It doesn't look like a clip-on bib, just like a pretty wrap that you would wear anyway. The fabric is light, and it covers everything up even with a really squirmy baby like mine, and even has arm holes. I use it as a blanket for my lo as well.

[averlee]

I have never, ever, ever heard of a mom being embarrassed to give a bottle in public. Even though bottle feeding is the less best option, they are not embarrassed at all. They do not use boppys or cover baby's head with a blanket either. Why would I be embarrassed when I'm doing what is the first best possible thing? There is no reason to be ashamed of nursing your baby in public. I'd bet this fear of showing the breasts is why so many moms give up and go to the bottle. If you really actually intend to nurse, as an ongoing part of your life and not just an expirement, you have to get comfortable with it. Confining yourself to a particular nursing chair will make you feel that breastfeeding is confining. Using a ton of props totally defeats the paraphernalia-free benefit of nursing.

[nurturebaby]

Originally Posted by averlee

I have never, ever, ever heard of a mom being embarrassed to give a bottle in public. Even though bottle feeding is the less best option, they are not embarrassed at all. They do not use boppys or cover baby's head with a blanket either. Why would I be embarrassed when I'm doing what is the first best possible thing? There is no reason to be ashamed of nursing your baby in public. I'd bet this fear of showing the breasts is why so many moms give up and go to the bottle. If you really actually intend to nurse, as an ongoing part of your life and not just an expirement, you have to get comfortable with it. Confining yourself to a particular nursing chair will make you feel that breastfeeding is confining. Using a ton of props totally defeats the paraphernalia-free benefit of nursing.

As much as we would like to pretend that women should feel just as comfortable breastfeeding in public as they do nursing in public, we all know that there is a big difference. The reason people 'cover up' is because the breast serves a two-fold purpose - firstly, as nourishment for our children, but it's silly to pretend that it doesn't also serve some sort of sexual purpose as well. That's why people cover up - due to modesty. Were you really posing that as a serious question?

I do understand your point, and think it's unfortunate that women sometimes feel uncomfortable doing what's best for their babies, but your comments could potentially make a mother feel like something is wrong with them if they choose to BF and are struggling with the logistics of it.

I don't think she is saying that she's ashamed to nurse in public - it's a fact (an unfortunate fact, yes, but it's the truth) that many mothers feel uncomfortable, but not ashamed. And to imply that she's doing something wrong by using pillows to help her nurse her baby comfortably is just silly.

Anyway, why also discourage women from 'experimenting' with breastfeeding by making comments like the one you made. Wouldn't it be good that a mother experiments with it rather than just go straight to a bottle.

[KarlaC]

Originally Posted by averlee

I have never, ever, ever heard of a mom being embarrassed to give a bottle in public. Even though bottle feeding is the less best option, they are not embarrassed at all. They do not use boppys or cover baby's head with a blanket either. Why would I be embarrassed when I'm doing what is the first best possible thing? There is no reason to be ashamed of nursing your baby in public. I'd bet this fear of showing the breasts is why so many moms give up and go to the bottle. If you really actually intend to nurse, as an ongoing part of your life and not just an expirement, you have to get comfortable with it. Confining yourself to a particular nursing chair will make you feel that breastfeeding is confining. Using a ton of props totally defeats the paraphernalia-free benefit of nursing.

Wow..just wow. If I hadn't had all my 'props' I never would have made it past a week of breastfeeding let alone 2 months. The earliest weeks need any & all props a new mom can get imo if you don't want them to give up.

[bedheadmaestro]

Originally Posted by averlee

I have never, ever, ever heard of a mom being embarrassed to give a bottle in public. Even though bottle feeding is the less best option, they are not embarrassed at all. They do not use boppys or cover baby's head with a blanket either. Why would I be embarrassed when I'm doing what is the first best possible thing? There is no reason to be ashamed of nursing your baby in public. I'd bet this fear of showing the breasts is why so many moms give up and go to the bottle. If you really actually intend to nurse, as an ongoing part of your life and not just an expirement, you have to get comfortable with it. Confining yourself to a particular nursing chair will make you feel that breastfeeding is confining. Using a ton of props totally defeats the paraphernalia-free benefit of nursing.

Well! I burn with shame and disappointment when I bottlefeed in public, even though it's not by choice, and I never really felt comfortable NIP either, even though nobody really paid attention, because of the way I had to do it (holding breast in position and using a shield.) It just isn't elegant for some people. Also, everyone is built differently, and some need the pillows, props, etc. to get the baby up to boob level and stay there, especially while the babies are small.

I think a lack of support, the "all or nothing," no-compromise attitude of many vocal breastfeeding advocates, and bad advice is what is more likely to cause a mom to get very intimidated, feel like she is not doing something right, and switch to the bottle.

By the way, NIP is not an obligation of a nursing mother. I know lots of people who never got the opportunity to NIP even though they wanted to- their babies never wanted it. I choose not to bottle feed my child in public, because I am embarrassed by it, and it's very easy for me to quickly find a somewhat private place to sit. I don't understand why so many people treat NIP as a requirement, like you are not a true proud nursing mother if you don't want to/don't like to NIP. ????

[kferraro]

Nursing in Public

I have to say that as a new mom, you find glances/stares from people when you NIP and when you give a bottle.

My DD and I had a difficult time at first, she loves to suck and will try to suck your breast off..if she could. Combined that with a painful recovery from my c-section, we had a difficult start. I began pumping at 4wks. For me, the most important part of BF was so she could gain the benefit of my milk. It doesn't matter wether you nurse or decide to put your precious commodity in a bottle, its all going to the same source...reaping the same benefit. When I give her a bottle, say at the dr's office, women will just give me that look, like she doesn't BF that's awful..It annoying and just plain ignorant.

Slowly I went back to nursing her, and now nurse twice a day, simply because she has gotten much better with her latch and I now actually enjoy it. It does get better as they get older, she's now 5mths. I have NIP and have had no choice, airport and the plane......and felt totally fine.

Practice and do whatever makes you feel comfortable, blankets, pillows, bobby, pumps....it doesn't matter, as long as your baby receives your milk....its all Good!!!!

Kimberly :-)

[justKate]

Originally Posted by nurturebaby

I am just now beginning to feel comfortable NIP and this is my second BF'd baby.

One thing that has helped me TREMENDOUSLY is a shawl from www.modestmomz.com Seriously, this is the best nursing cover ever. It doesn't look like a clip-on bib, just like a pretty wrap that you would wear anyway. The fabric is light, and it covers everything up even with a really squirmy baby like mine, and even has arm holes. I use it as a blanket for my lo as well.

Love it.

Nursing is a lot like making love. There's no "wrong" way to do it, so if you need props, great, if you go natural, that's great too!