Child Unfriendly experience today-Vent

[jewelsJZ]

Grrrrr!!!! The receptionist/assistant at my chiropractor's office was so unfriendly with my kids today. Their office is inside a gym that has child care and I have the option to use that, however ds did not want to go there, he feels uncomfortable not knowing anyone there. I don't want to push him, he has to start Kindergarten in 2 wks. and is feeling similarly uncomfortable about that. Dd will follow ds's lead so if I tried to put her in the childcare, even though she says she wants to go, she would end up having a fit if ds didn't stay there with her. And the baby is just too young IMO to leave there.

So we proceed into the chiro's waiting room and the recept. immediately says, "Oh, aren't you going to put them in the child care?" I explain briefly, that no, they don't want to go. I've kept them with me in the office before. Usually there are toys in the waiting room but today these are gone. There is an exam room that has lots of toys but there is another dr. in there with a patient so we can't go in there. I give them some very unmessy snacks to eat and they are pretty good for the most part.

They start playing with the stool trying to get it lower to climb on it when we go to the exam room to wait for the dr. The recept. is clearly annoyed by this and comes in and tells them not to play on it. There is nowhere else for them to sit. She threatens to take it away if they fight or play with it, but helps them lower it.

They to start to squabble over this and that, minor stuff. The baby hits his head on the side of the stroller and cries. I am telling the older two to please stop and trying to comfort the baby. She comes back in because at this point I have the electric stim things attached to my neck and back, which give me some movement around the exam table but she has a problem with this and tells me to sit down.

When I'm done with that, I finally go out into the waiting room and find crayons and coloring books for the kids and bring them in and get them busy with that. Gee, what if she would've offered me those?

They are getting bored after a few minutes and start to play with stuff they shouldn't, bicker a bit. I am getting frustrated with them but what can I do? The dr. is doing the adjustment, we're almost done. We go to leave and the recept. says, "Child care next time?" I tell her, "We'll see."

I wish they would stay in the child care but I'm not going to force them. This woman has been there before when I'm there and is always very sweet with the baby. Previously she was fine with the older two. Maybe she was having a bad day. Who knows. I am just so frustrated with her attitude.
This is a very family oriented office, a husb. and wife team and the wife specializes in pregnant women and children, for goodness sakes.

The recept. is a mom herself, we've chatted before. While I was there, another lady came in with a toddler who was crying. No one said anything to her about it.

I like the dr. and this is the 3rd chiro I've had since we've lived here as the other two have moved away so I am not changing dr.'s just because this woman is being unkind.

Not sure what I will do or say if this happens again but I won't let it happen again without addressing it with her. Any suggestions on what to say would be appreciated. Mostly I just needed to vent as it has been on my mind all day. Thanks.

[~LadyBug~]

WOW! That is horrible mama! Sounds like your kids are being, well, kids. Why is she coming back into the exam room if she is just the receptionist in the first place? Isn't her job to answer phones, etc. It is your decision whether or not they go into childcare, not hers : And the snarky comment about "Childcare next time?" I would have said "No, another chiro. next time!" (if you could find another one, that is) Maybe she was having a bad day, but she needs to be professional enough to not take it out on patients or their children. :

[ChristyMarie]

I guess I cannot imagine bringing kids with me when I'm going to be unable to care for them - like when you are having a treatment, especially the electric stim. I also think you could have brought the coloring books or other quiet toys instead of expecting the office to provide them or for the kids to sit quietly that long.

[~LadyBug~]

Maybe she HAD to bring them...that happened to me a couple times. I also brought snacks and toys, but with a new environment, kids are wanting to explore. I agree, toys help, but the receptionist did not have to be so rude. That is not helping the situation, it is just making it worse.

[limabean]

One of my doctors has a posted sign saying something (in a polite way) about arranging childcare during appointments. I actually don't think that's an unreasonable request. I always have someone watch my kids when I go to the doctor, dentist, etc., mostly because it'd be to stressful for me to feel responsible for keeping them calm/happy while also trying to tend to my own needs and listen to the doctor.

[jewelsJZ]

Christy Marie, I actually had brought little cars for them to play with, which usually works for them but not today. Also in the past when I brought them there they were allowed to go into the other room where the toys are but that was not an option today, which I understand. That is the first time that has happened to me, though.
And I usually only go to the chiro on Friday's when dh works from home and then I can leave at least the older two with him but my neck is really hurting and it is affecting my ability to pick up the baby so I wanted to get it taken care of. Yes, it is stressful for me to bring them and I prefer not to but couldn't avoid it today. I'm not saying this was an ideal situation and I don't expect the people who work there to help me with my kids, just please don't work against me!

[sisteeesmama]

I don't know, to me I could see how the recep. thought you were being intentionally difficult. They provide childcare, what more could you want. The appointment is not that long, they would probably be fine in the childcare, whether it is ideal for them or not, it wasn't ideal for the office to have them there either.
I can see both sides.

[laohaire]

I don't care what the receptionist thought - she was being rude!

[Jennifer3141]

The receptionist was a bit rude but I would never expect a doctor's office to work around my three bored kids while I got medical treatment. I think you should have rescheduled until you had a better childcare plan.

[east carolina]

ITA with Jennifer 3141.

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by Jennifer3141

The receptionist was a bit rude but I would never expect a doctor's office to work around my three bored kids while I got medical treatment. I think you should have rescheduled until you had a better childcare plan.

I agree and honestly I would have probably been irritated to. If the provided child care is not good enough I would have made other arangements. they have a job to do and kids that you cannot care for who are bored and bickering would push me over the edge. If she could hear it outside other clients likely would have. and honestly if my chiropractors office was not a calm sort of place I would find a different Dr. maybe this is what she was scared of. If your kids really won't go into childcare and won't stay with a sitter maybe next time you could find someone to tag along and watch them in the waiting room or take them out for a stroll or something.

[riverscout]

The receptionist was pretty rude. I think you were doing the best you could considering the circumstances. Just ignore her next time if she cops a tude and come prepared for there not to be any toys anymore.

[Thisbirdwillfly]

Keep in mind that the receptionist may have had complaints from patients about children being in the office (not specifically your children, just in general.)

I can really see both sides. I know how it is to be in pain with no childcare. On the other hand, I know how it is to be in pain, paying for childcare and having to deal with other people's children making the waiting area/office overall a less than relaxing place.

Or perhaps it was just a bad day all the way around. It's hard to know.

[meemee]

hmmm is this the first time you have been there with all your kids?

this is my philosophy which i have noticed works most times. i explain. so when she asked you about childcare i would have explained. about why your kids cant be in cc. its amazing how a little explanation goes a long way.

so next time you go explain all the whys.

however i would try not to let there be a next time. if it does happen i would explain.

so i would not complain. if you want to pick up this issue i would let her know exactly what was going on and see what she says.

perhaps she was having a hard day too.

if it was me i would not say anything. i would if it happened again.

[paxye]

It is really hard when you don't have childcare...

I don't have anyone around to watch my kids when I have an appointment unless DH is home (which doesn't coincide with many office hours) so I know what it is like having to bring the kids everywhere with me...

I hope she was just having an off day and things will go smoother next time...

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by jewelsJZ

Not sure what I will do or say if this happens again but I won't let it happen again without addressing it with her. .

Ok, she was rude. But, happen again? If I had that experience with my dc, I wouldn't bring them along with me again simply because they didn't handle it well this time. Fair enough that you brought them this time; you had reason to believe it would go ok. But it didn't, so now you know you need to have childcare of some kind when you go to the chiro (believe me--I've btdt recently with my 2 yo at the dentist. I'm sure as heck not taking him with me again, lol!)

[moxygirl]

Warning: rant ahead.

I'm pregnant with my first so I don't know if my opinion will be accepted here, but honestly I don't understand why people are saying the OP needs to arrange childcare in order to go to an appointment. Isn't this an AP-friendly site??

When my baby is here, _I_ will be the primary childcare provider for him/her. I will not be leaving my child with strangers, ever (trusted friends are another matter). He/she is MY CHILD and I am solely responsible for his/her well being when my husband is not available. If the OP's husband wasn't available to care for their children then she not only has the right but the responsibility, IMO, to care for her children, which includes NOT putting them in childcare with strangers if they were uncomfortable with it. (Edited to add: if both the children and the parents are comfortable leaving the children with a trusted childcare provider, I don't think there's anything non-AP about that.) Why should she be expected to stick her children in childcare just because it was provided?

I honestly think this reflects an opinion common in our society today (one I didn't expect to find on this site) that children are somehow nuisances that need to be shuffled off and hidden if they're not behaving like perfect little adults. I mean it's not like the OP's kids were breaking the equipment or pestering the other clients.

Just my $0.02, but I cannot "see both sides".

Rant over.

[widemouthedfrog]

moxygirl, I bring my daughter almost everywhere - work, bloodwork, volunteer meetings, international trips, small business bank appointments. I actually bring her to the chiro, but that's because he's quite kid-friendly. However, I do find it very, very, stressful to bring her to my many doctor's appointments (I have a couple of health conditions). Namely because my doctor can be up to 2 hours late, and dd almost always catches a cold / flu from the office toys, and then she gets seriously annoyed when I am talking with the doctor. And then I'm out of commission doing the tests and I can't attend to her needs all of the time. And if the doctors are not child-friendly, this makes it even more stressful (though most of mine are).

So after some time trying to bring her, my daughter and I have now decided together (she's now 4) that it would be a lot more fun if we didn't have to go to the doctor together - unless it's for her. Yes, a baby can't choose, but as they get older I don't see that there's a problem finding a good, fun child care provider and doing those appointments on your own.

All this done in the spirit of love and understanding and communication with my daughter, which I believe makes it a good AP solution.

OP, I'd check with the kids and see what they'd like to do. I have done the childcare-person-comes-to-the-office approach too. It it can be worthwhile if your back is in serious pain!

[riverscout]

Originally Posted by moxygirl

Warning: rant ahead.

I'm pregnant with my first so I don't know if my opinion will be accepted here, but honestly I don't understand why people are saying the OP needs to arrange childcare in order to go to an appointment. Isn't this an AP-friendly site??

When my baby is here, _I_ will be the primary childcare provider for him/her. I will not be leaving my child with strangers, ever (trusted friends are another matter). He/she is MY CHILD and I am solely responsible for his/her well being when my husband is not available. If the OP's husband wasn't available to care for their children then she not only has the right but the responsibility, IMO, to care for her children, which includes NOT putting them in childcare with strangers if they were uncomfortable with it. (Edited to add: if both the children and the parents are comfortable leaving the children with a trusted childcare provider, I don't think there's anything non-AP about that.) Why should she be expected to stick her children in childcare just because it was provided?

I honestly think this reflects an opinion common in our society today (one I didn't expect to find on this site) that children are somehow nuisances that need to be shuffled off and hidden if they're not behaving like perfect little adults. I mean it's not like the OP's kids were breaking the equipment or pestering the other clients.

Just my $0.02, but I cannot "see both sides".

Rant over.

As a SAHM with a husband who works long hours and doesn't have a job that he can just skip out on for a couple of hours very easily and who has very few other childcare options and whose kids are very sensitive and would likely not do well at all with some random stranger at some gym childcare and who feels I have the right to get medical care when I need it, I say right on sistah .

[nextcommercial]

She might have been having a bad day.

Maybe next time, you should pack a really special bag for them to get into while you are busy. Keep things in it that they normally wouldn't have access to so it's special, and only for doctor's visits.

I think it's fine that you bring them, but you should plan to keep them entertained while they are there.

Not that I can think of any ideas on what you should pack in the bag... but, something really cool.