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Mommy why were you moaning? - Page 6

Poll Results: DTD options.

 
  • 26% (38)
    Buy a bed for the garage.
  • 73% (105)
    Tell 10yo DD the truth.
143 Total Votes  
post #101 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by FingerLakesMom2B View Post
Whoa nelly
I'm all for truth and honesty with your children about sex, but I would be freaked the hell out if my mom told me that she and my dad were having sex the night before and that was what I had heard. especially when I was 10! To this day I would appreciate a little white lie when it comes to my parent's sex life.
I feel the same way. I'm fine with talking about sex in general and educating my kids, but I would so NOT want to know any details about my parents having sex.
post #102 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
you know, if you tell the truth it may gross her out of your bed. .
She's not in the bed
post #103 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeliphish View Post
She's not in the bed
oh. LOL
I understand the small house - ours is too and all TILE. sound carrys. LOL
post #104 of 140
Okay, I was in this situation when I was a kid. I wish my mom had said she had a tummy problem.

It was great that my mom would answer any sex question I had in a general way. However, I really wish she hadn't given out specific information about her personal sex life with my dad. I know they have sex, good for them. There are some things your kids don't need to know. I've made a vow of quiet sex until the kids are gone just to spare them the awkwardness.

It actually backfired on my mom, because I really never asked her about sex again. I was too embarrassed and worried I would get personal information.

BTW I'm super open, comfortable in every way with my sexuality, and have no sexual "issues," just wish I didn't know certain things.

One day your daughter will hear the noise and she'll know what's going on, no need to explain it now.
post #105 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
My 10yo doesn't know about sex. Ummm she's 10. I didn't know about sex until I was 13 and even then I didn't know any details. Do 10yo usually know about sex?
I knew when I was five. My mom told me! Penis puts sperm in vagina, sperm meets egg, makes baby. Feels good. We were like- "Moving on..."

I wouldn't lie. Just say, you had sex, some people moan when they have sex. It doesn't feel bad, it feels nice. Short, simple, not detailed. If she wants more she can ask.
post #106 of 140
BTW can I add that I lived in a culture where people shared a sleeping area, and parents did not have sex at night. Usually, they waited until the kids were out playing and dad would come home unexpectedly from the fields. The men and women often slept separately.
post #107 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
My 10yo doesn't know about sex. Ummm she's 10. I didn't know about sex until I was 13 and even then I didn't know any details. Do 10yo usually know about sex?
Yes. They really do.
post #108 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post
BTW can I add that I lived in a culture where people shared a sleeping area, and parents did not have sex at night. Usually, they waited until the kids were out playing and dad would come home unexpectedly from the fields. The men and women often slept separately.
What's the line from Song of Songs? "Come away to the olive grove my love" or some such?
post #109 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
What's the line from Song of Songs? "Come away to the olive grove my love" or some such?
Oh isn't that lovely.
post #110 of 140
10 "I belong to my lover,
and his desire is for me.

11 Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages. [b]

12 Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love. "
Song of Solomon 7:10-12 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+7&version=NIV

_____

I find this whole discussion very fascinating as I grew up very sheltered. I did find a book when I was 11-12ish that explained sex and anatomy and such, but I really didn't get a sex talk. Ever. I got my period at 12 but I had read about it so it wasn't one of those OMG I'm dying moments that someone mentioned earlier.
To give you a real life example, I didn't actually know how to pronounce the word vagina until I was 16 (n college taking health 101). Very mortifying in retrospect to think how little I was told. I loved my parents dearly and I know they were trying to raise me and my siblings the best way they knew, but my dh and I plan on being very pro active w our dd when she's old enough(she's 10 mths lol).
As a former soc major I find this a fascinating discussion!
P.S. Yes I had alot of issues resulting from lack of info, but we're good now.
post #111 of 140
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
oh. LOL
I understand the small house - ours is too and all TILE. sound carrys. LOL
We have all hardwood.
post #112 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by baglady View Post

One day your daughter will hear the noise and she'll know what's going on, no need to explain it now.


it's a criminal offence to have sex in front of children, and I strongly believe that telling a child what's going on in an overt way is similar to doing it in front of them. It's irrelevant if she knows what sex is or not.

I'd try putting a CD on for her listen to and tone down the groans

post #113 of 140
I agree completely with giving her enough info to protect herself against unwanted sexual contact. If she knows what's going on, she can say no instead of letting herself be led into a situation with inappropriate contact. And, don't think it can't happen, even if she is always with you. This can happen in an instant, with you right around the corner.
post #114 of 140
My DD is 7 and according to her she "heard us kissing".
So, I went with it and told her that sometimes mommy and daddy like to kiss when we are alone, since kids think it's gross.
Young kids don't really want or need too many details.
post #115 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by shukr View Post


it's a criminal offense to have sex in front of children,
is it really?

I know this seems obvious But I wonder in a historical context, I mean - when people lived in one room houses which wasnt that long ago, or tents, etc, how was sex performed? outside? LOL.

just curious....anyone know?

eta: I'll just call my maid to take my kids while my dh and I dtd. LOL.
post #116 of 140
This thread is amusing and surprising me. I'm surprised at how many people are grossed out by the idea of their parents having sex. Seems like on a Natural Family board, wouldn't we all be like, "yeah man, groove on padres!" I mean how did we all get here? Yeap my parents had sex, and now they have sex with my step parents. What's gross about it?

I guess my vision is just that people accept that couples have sex, not that only certain people should have sex. They ain't gotta be pretty, or young or anything in particular. And yes that includes parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Heck if older folks are GIO, I say more power to them!

Besides, one day it will be you, people will shudder to think you have sex, and perhaps you will wonder what's the biggie, shouldn't everyone?
post #117 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
My 10yo doesn't know about sex. Ummm she's 10. I didn't know about sex until I was 13 and even then I didn't know any details. Do 10yo usually know about sex?
i totally knew about sex. my currently ten year old cousin knows about sex.

i think that if the OP just tells her daughter, and uses it as an opportunity to show how when she is having sex it's with someone she loves and is in a committed relationship with, then all will be well.

however...if this is not a love-filled, committed relationship maybe you shouldn't tell her. i was very confused by my single mother's adult relationships. now i know that many adults have sex/expect to have sex with one another early in the relationship. then i just saw/heard it as her having sex with every boyfriend she had...and that sent the TOTALLY wrong message, despite what she TOLD me sex was all about (love).
post #118 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teenytoona View Post
This thread is amusing and surprising me. I'm surprised at how many people are grossed out by the idea of their parents having sex. Seems like on a Natural Family board, wouldn't we all be like, "yeah man, groove on padres!" I mean how did we all get here? Yeap my parents had sex, and now they have sex with my step parents. What's gross about it?...
But we are still mammals. I simply do not believe that it's society that convinces us that our parents have sex is unappealing. It's part of the protection so that we seek out partners whose DNA is not overly similiar to ours.

In theory, I want everyone to have a great sex life. In practice, the very last people I ever wanted to overhear was my parents.


Quote:
the kid happens to hear it and asks you point blank what that noise was. As a parent, you've got two choices in that situation. Lie or tell the truth. I would prefer to tell the truth to my children...
I did not miss your point. I understand that you prefer to tell your children the truth about this. So did my parents. I think they were wrong, it was developmentally inappropriate in this culture and I didn't do the same thing to my kid. The arguement that the truth is always age and situationally appropriate is not one I buy into. At all.
post #119 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancta View Post
You know, the simplest way around this, to me, without lying, is to just make the connection like a pp did about when you do something really nice, sometimes you moan. You eat a great piece of dessert, you moan. Well, Daddy and I were having some time together and I really enjoyed it. He gives great back rubs, and I love to snuggle with him, blah blah blah. Then it's not a lie, but an omission of the detailed material the child does not need to know.

If she knows about sex, she can put two and two together herself, and wonder. That, to me, is a heck of a lot better than Mom just saying, Yep, it was sex and it felt good!

And prettypixels - Yes, I bathe and put on underwear and wipe and all, but I don't involve my vagina for any of that. And when I was 10, I didn't either.

i like this. if you're really against letting your dd in on the idea that you were "having sex" then at least let her know that it was ALONE time between you and daddy that you were enjoying. like a backrub.

if she knows about sex (which i'm sure she does...this may even be a TEST...i was a rude little bugger at 10!!!) she'll put 2 and 2 together. if she doesn't--then you haven't shared any information that needn't be shared.
post #120 of 140
i think you should have that talk very soon, in an age appropriate yet totally honest way. i knew what sex was in elementary school but there was always misinformation floating around. my mom was too embarassed to tell me anything, told me that getting a period is when you "pee blood so that you can have a baby," exact words. when i got it at barely 11 i was terrified.
it wasn't until a year or two later that she put a book in my room about sex ed and a year after that she was giving me condoms because i "was having sex with all those boys you hang around with" (i wasn't, he was practically my brother we were so close)
all in all i was made to feel terrified, like the subject wasn't sometime to discuss openly, and like my family thought i was a whore. not the types of messages i want dd to get!
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