Mommy why were you moaning? - Page 5

[pixiekisses]

Originally Posted by moaningminny

I don't really use my vagina daily.

What, you don't pee everyday? Or wash? Or get dressed, put on undies, and kinda register that it's there?
That's what I was thinking about re. a 10 yo. girl. (And yeah, I should've used a better word. I get the miss-communication here.)

Originally Posted by Sancta

Why would a child's vagina be in daily use? Mine certainly isn't!

Yeah, look above her.

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

DH wishes!

Originally Posted by moaningminny

That's what I originally wrote, but edited at the last minute.

You dirty ladies! :nana:

[ParisApril]

Originally Posted by Eeyore35

I didn't vote. I think you need to be honest,and either move your daughter out of your bed or have sex in another room from her.

Anyhow,i was a very naive homeschooled kid. at 9,I knew where babies come from,and sort of knew about sex. A little before I turned 10,my mom told me the really basic mechanics of sex,and also that you could get pregant if you almost went all The way. It was a little late for that talk. A male relative a few years older than me had already tried to have sex with me. It was bad enough I still have issus emotionally,from it. If I'd had any clue what this relative wanted to do,I might have been able to stop it,I wouldn't have given in to his badgering, perhaps? Oh,and after the convo with my mom,I was also terrified i as pregnant. My mom never thought this would happen. They were very strict,no dating til 17,etc. I did tell my mom what happened,but she was,and pretty mcuh still,is in denial.

Sorry I wasn't perfectly clear. DD does NOT sleep with us, she sleeps in her own bed in her own room!

Okay so here are my thoughts and I thank everyone for their imput so far.

I still think DD is too young to know any graphic sexual details. Like many posters have said I wouldn't have wanted to know if my parents were DTD. Luckily for me their bedroom was far, far away from mine as a kid. My DD has know since she was out of diapers that if she touches herself "down there" it feels good. I thought about how it would make me feel if she started moaning with pleasure whenever she touched herself and it makes me feel sick actually. But that is what I am doing to her and it's not fair to her at all.

So I just need to be quiet. If I can quit smoking, this should be a breeze right?

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by ParisApril

So I just need to be quiet. If I can quit smoking, this should be a breeze right?

Millions of people throughout history have done the same if they do not want others in close vicinity (their children or otherwise) to know they are having sex. And, yes, it can add to the passion! (imagine that he's your teenage boyfriend--snuck in through the window--and your parents are in the next room, lololol)

[Teenytoona]

Originally Posted by pixiekisses

What, you don't pee everyday? Or wash? Or get dressed, put on undies, and kinda register that it's there?
That's what I was thinking about re. a 10 yo. girl. (And yeah, I should've used a better word. I get the miss-communication here.)

Umm peeing and all that does not involve the vagina. Vulva maybe, but vagina, no. That's the point the others were trying to make.

[gillibean]

Originally Posted by pixiekisses

But, don't you have one? How could you not now what it was, it's in daily use isn't it?

That's like saying how could you not know you have an epiglottis, it's in daily use. At 10, I was too busy climbing trees, making forts, playing soccer, and all kinds of other stuff to spend time exploring my nether regions. I had just never bothered to give it much thought, I had other things to do.

I do agree, kids have more to deal with at a much earlier age than I had to deal with. I would not be comfortable with my 10 year old being as naive as I was at 10.

[moaningminny]

I knew my "girl parts" were there, but I can't remember really doing too much with them and thinking about them too much.

[FingerLakesMom2B]

Whoa nelly
I'm all for truth and honesty with your children about sex, but I would be freaked the hell out if my mom told me that she and my dad were having sex the night before and that was what I had heard. especially when I was 10! To this day I would appreciate a little white lie when it comes to my parent's sex life. But then again I went to Catholic school, never had any sex talk whatsoever. I lost my virginity in high school and never knew what my clitoris was, that it existed or that women had orgasms until 6 years later. So I'm not the poster child for white lies about sex... But I just think that some things are private for a reason.

[Anastasiya]

You know, the simplest way around this, to me, without lying, is to just make the connection like a pp did about when you do something really nice, sometimes you moan. You eat a great piece of dessert, you moan. Well, Daddy and I were having some time together and I really enjoyed it. He gives great back rubs, and I love to snuggle with him, blah blah blah. Then it's not a lie, but an omission of the detailed material the child does not need to know.

If she knows about sex, she can put two and two together herself, and wonder. That, to me, is a heck of a lot better than Mom just saying, Yep, it was sex and it felt good!

And prettypixels - Yes, I bathe and put on underwear and wipe and all, but I don't involve my vagina for any of that. And when I was 10, I didn't either.

[abiyhayil]

Originally Posted by FernG

My sister and I have worked extensively with very conservative and "sheltered" evangelical homeschool and private school kids as well as secular public school kids and by 11-12, all of the kids are dealing with sexting and at least oral sex. They aren't all doing oral sex, but they are all having to make the choice. Lesbian sex and porn is a big issue. Things are very different than they were even 10 years ago.

OMG! Where are kids doing these things? I was always very naive I just can't imagine ..

[fruitfulmomma]

OMG! Where are kids doing these things? I was always very naive I just can't imagine ..

Anywhere America. I don't want to go into too many personal details but aside from the technological changes that have happened in the last 10 -15 years, this was all happening when I was a kid. By 6th grade I was hearing rumors of girls thinking they were pregnant or having abortions. My best friend was 14 when she had hers.

Oh, and my husband was exposed to porn when he was 4 years old!!! (Had several older brothers.)

I am all for giving children maturity-appropriate information on the subject and believe me I am still not quite sure exactly how to broach the issue with my own kids, but please, please don't assume your kids are too young to have picked up on anything like this or that they aren't being pressured by it.

[ParisApril]

Originally Posted by FernG

My sister and I have worked extensively with very conservative and "sheltered" evangelical homeschool and private school kids as well as secular public school kids and by 11-12, all of the kids are dealing with sexting and at least oral sex. They aren't all doing oral sex, but they are all having to make the choice. Lesbian sex and porn is a big issue. Things are very different than they were even 10 years ago.

Sexting, oral sex, lesbian sex and porn by 11-12. WTF is wrong with this world? Where are these kids parents? Where do you live FernG?

[feminist~mama]

Originally Posted by ParisApril

My 10yo doesn't know about sex. Ummm she's 10. I didn't know about sex until I was 13 and even then I didn't know any details. Do 10yo usually know about sex?

Yep, I'd say that most of them do. My dd does- and has- for years. She's eagerly anticipating starting her cycle and has a "period pack" that she's carried in her backpack for a year. Lol.

[signingmamma]

DD is 4 and knows the basics about sex, she knows that mommy and dadd "make love" to make babies and the basics, she knows that we were made different for that reason. She knows that daddy has a penis and that mommy has a vagina.
But here most kids know those facts at a young age.

[LDSmomma]

We had a sex ed class in school in 4th grade, which I think means I was nine. I knew about sex well before that, though.

I think it is best to be honest, but I think it will be very hard to do once DS is old enough for that.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma

Anywhere America. I don't want to go into too many personal details but aside from the technological changes that have happened in the last 10 -15 years, this was all happening when I was a kid. By 6th grade I was hearing rumors of girls thinking they were pregnant or having abortions. My best friend was 14 when she had hers.

Oh, and my husband was exposed to porn when he was 4 years old!!! (Had several older brothers.)

I am all for giving children maturity-appropriate information on the subject and believe me I am still not quite sure exactly how to broach the issue with my own kids, but please, please don't assume your kids are too young to have picked up on anything like this or that they aren't being pressured by it.

This is what I remember from my middle school and high school time as well. I lived in two different countries, the US and an Asian country; and in the US, I went to a boarding school, where there were people from all over the country and the world. Everyone had stories about themselves or their friends. Of course, I haven't the slightest idea how much of it was real, how much exaggerated, and how much flat-out made-up, but we're talking about hearing about sexual details, not about what may or may not actually have happened. As to where the parents were? Kids can be very sneaky. This was 1987-1994, FWIW.

[DianeMarie]

I'm kind of laughing about this............

I agree with another poster who suggested that you TRY to be a little quieter during sex. Practice whispering instead of moaning..........

At the age of ten, your daughter should at least know the mechanics of sex---she doesn't need to know about different positions and oral sex and foreplay and swinging from the chandeliers sex, LOL!! I also don't think she needs to know about the pleasures of sex either, right now.

Sure, kids need to know about sex, and they do after a while either through "the talk" with parents or through sex ed at school. But they, just like MOST of us, cannot even stomach the thought of our parents having sex!! EWWWW!!! Having to lay in your room and hear your parents moaning and groaning could/would be nausea inducing and may make her very uncomfortable, and in turn, give her aversions to sex or affect her thoughts and feelings about sex and/or having sex.

In my humble opinion, sex between your parents should be something that is private and should be kept private. I don't think your daughter, at 10 years old, needs to know the nitty gritty details, especially if she's been rather sheltered. She should probably get the talk about puberty, getting her period and what that means as far as fertility, and then that could segue into the talk about the mechanics of sex. As she gets older, she will either talk to friends or read books or through movies find out that sex is pleasurable, and maybe she will come to you and ask you about it.

I remember when I was a kid........and I am getting nauseous thinking about it, LOL..........I walked into my parent's bedroom and my father was on top of my mother..........they looked at me and I made a 360 and walked out. I didn't say anything to them, but later my father said that he was "keeping my mother warm", BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I knew what they were doing---and I wanted to puke!!! Somehow, we simply cannot fathom the thought of our parents having sex...............imagine walking right into the middle of it!!! YUCK!! LOL!!!

[transformed]

you know, if you tell the truth it may gross her out of your bed. .

[flutterbudget]

I'm not sure this applies directly to the OP, but to the sex ed discussion in general. I think it is worth noting that not all kids will ask questions.

As a child, I was acutely aware that every step I took toward growing up seemed to make my mom a little sad even if she was also proud of me. So I never wanted to bring things up until she felt like I should be ready. Does that make any sense? So I waited for her to volunteer information and I'm sure she was waiting for me to ask. Which really just ended up with me deciding my mom was never going to be comfortable discussing this stuff with me and finding answers elsewhere.

I think that as uncomfortable as it is for us as parents, and as much as we'd like them to stay little sometimes, it is important to let them know its ok to grow up and to make sure they feel like the door is open to talk about stuff rather than just telling them it is. KWIM?

[SweetPotato]

I'm definitely in the camp that thinks it's pretty gross to have to listen to other people having sex. I would do whatever necessary to try to make sure that she doesn't hear you-- wait until you know she's asleep and then try to keep it down

I think that some sex education would probably be appropriate (I keep reading that middle schoolers are into blow job parties these days- yikes!)-- but I would keep that separate from any discussions of "noises" in the night. Seriously- even now I would really get icked out if I was visiting my parents and could hear them going at it-- just yuck yuck yuck! (and seriously- I'm no prude- I swear!)

[Jen-o]

Personally, I would just try to be quieter, or be strategic with your time.
You could have a sex talk with her, but once she knows that "those sounds" are sex sounds, then she may find it quite disturbing whenever she hears them. I wouldn't want my daughter visualizing me having sex!
I'd go more along the lines of "when mommy & daddy spend time together" I make those noises, than "when mommy & daddy are having sex" I make those noises. Like getting a good backscratch right?