I feel like a hypocrite

[AuntNi]

My confession is that I'm a pretty big germphobe. To the point that when I read Howard Hughes' biography, and the extremely crazy OCD measures he took to avoid germs, I momentarily thought, "Hey, that's a pretty good idea - I hadn't thought of that." Um, I guess I hadn't thought of those because I'm not (yet) bat**** crazy.

But I'm more scared of vaccine side effects, so once DD turned two and my mother's instinct overcame the doctor's guilt trips, I stopped vaccinating her.

But today, I got a letter from school that the kid who sits next to her has a confirmed case of pertussis. And I'm freaking out. I'm not scared she's going to die or anything. She has an incredibly healthy immune system, so it's possible she won't even get it, much less have bad side effects. I just am creeped out by the thought of her (or me) catching it. Creeped-out to the point that right this minute, I'm procrastinating leaving for school open house. And I've taken the school picnic off the calendar for this weekend. Is that selfish or what? And I feel like if I was a "good" un-vaccinating mom, I would be calm and sanguine about this.

I'm probably the only one here who has this kind of reaction, right?

[mysticmomma]

even if she had been vax'd it still doesn't prevent transmission, so your dd could still catch it.

[xmasbaby7]

Look, you do sound really anxious, but in a great, self-aware way.

Parenting is about working through anxiety on so many levels because we ultimately have so little control. I wouldn't judge this anxiety of yours, because I am bound to have one of my own to match.

I think anxiety management overall is an excellent tool for all parents, so rather than focus on the whooping cough, which will at worst be a real pain, focus on how you can care for yourself better when you feel like you are going to that OCD place of worry.

[AuntNi]

Originally Posted by mysticmomma

even if she had been vax'd it still doesn't prevent transmission, so your dd could still catch it.

Oh, trust me: even if she were fully vax'd, I would still be freaking out. Because that's just how I am. You should see me when the stomach flu is going around.

The guilty hypocritical feeling comes in because: if I am so Zen about "VPDs" that I don't vax, why am I freaking out about possibly catching a "VPD?" I am trying to mentally remind myself that it's my irrational fear of germs talking, and try to keep my panties untwisted. (She says as she runs upstairs to shower head-to-toe after the open house.)

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by AuntNi

why am I freaking out about possibly catching a "VPD?" I am trying to mentally remind myself that it's my irrational fear of germs talking,

It's because it's a 'germ' and you are a self professed germophobe!

Maybe think of it this way...at least pertussis is naturally occurring instead of foreign RNA, DNA, Monkey kidney cells and washed sheeps blood being intentionally injected?

[AuntNi]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

Maybe think of it this way...at least pertussis is naturally occurring instead of foreign RNA, DNA, Monkey kidney cells and washed sheeps blood being intentionally injected?

Thanks. That actually does help. You've reminded me of the original reason we stopped vaxing: I really am more scared of injecting known toxins into my child than I am of us catching a germ.

[Evergreen]

Of course you aren't a hypocrite. It is so normal to not want our kids to be exposed to diseases whether we vaccinate or not. Especially one like pertussis (as opposed to, say, chicken pox which is relatively benign and is more dangerous if you don't catch it when you are young.)

[AuntNi]

I looked it up last night, and before I quit vax'ing, she had 4 out of 5 DTP/DTaP shots. But with the school, I filed a religious exemption, because I didn't want to get into the "why I stopped vax'ing" discussion with the school nurse. I'm actually surprised they haven't called me to keep her home yet - they probably haven't thought to look up the kids' vax records yet.

I did have to laugh internally at the open house last night, when the teacher said, "The child was contagious before we sent him home. But we've disinfected the classroom. And I'm assuming all the children are innoculated, because that's a requirement (emphasis hers) to get into school. So I'm sure everyone will be fine." The leap of logic that goes from contagious kid with pertussis-----> disinfect the area ------> send letters home that other children were exposed, because they're doomed to catch it ------> but I'm sure they'll be fine because they're vaccinated, just blows my mind.