conversion stories - Page 2

[umsami]

Originally Posted by ChasingPeace

Thank you for sharing your conversion story, CB. It was very moving. And great blog!

ChasingPeace....

Long time no see.

Hope your family has a nice Eid.

[ursusarctos]

what an excellent thread!

[ChasingPeace]

Eid Mubarak to you and your family, too, Umsami!

[Summertime Mommy]

Mine is kind of late, but I have been wanting to post it here for a while.

I converted from Catholocism to Islam.

My mom is Catholic and my dad is Mormon. As a child, neither of my parents actually went to church so I went with my nana to a baptist church. To be honest, I don't really remember much about it except for learning bible songs and having a Sunday school teacher tell us that Catholics worshiped Mary.

After about 3rd grade, my nana stopped taking me to church with her and I went through a period where we did not attend any type of church. I remeber still having a strong connection to God and a "need" to have his presence, so when I was about 12 I convinced my mom to let me become a Catholic. I went through the whole Cathecism process and I remember even then that I was a bit disenchanted with the beliefs that I was being taught and when I questioned them, the nun's response was often to ell me that it was just something you have to accept, or something she could not answer. Nevertherless, I was drawn to the rituals and the beauty of the church itself. I remeber sitting in church many times and thinking that the way the light filtered in through the windows made it seem as if God himself was there with us.

As I got older, my faith waxed and waned, but I always seemed to be drawn back to the church. It was my safe space. Then my whole world turned upside down after my first daughter was born. She was born was a rare disorder called Aicardi Syndrome, which left her blind and completely dependant on us for every part of her existance. It was a devastating blow. I was angry at God and couldn't understand how he could have ever let this happen. I tryed to seek refuge in the church, I wanted desperately to speak to a priest about it, but I was turned away. The priest actually told me it wasn't his job to be a counselor. That left me feeling even more empty and abandoned by god.

For about a year and a half after that I was agnostic. Looking back, it was just that I was angry and felt abandoned by god. People would always try to trell me nice things about my daugther and relate it to god and I wanted to smack them. Things like "God doesn't give us more than we can handle," would really upset me. (Actually it still does.)

After a while, I felt that overwhelming urge to find God again. It was an undescribable pull connect with the higher power. So I started searching. I tryed to go back to the Catholic church and it didn't feel right anymore, so I started researching religions. I dabbled in Buddhism for about a year but it didn't feel right. I felt like I was still missing something. So after an exhaustive search of just about every religion I could think of, I picked up a book on Islam and it made sense, it was amazing in the way it answered so many questions other faiths couldn't seem to answer. Then I read Thomas Cleary's "The Essential Koran," and I knew that this was it for me. I began reading everything I could get my hands on about Islam and finally called the Islamic Center in the next town from where I was living and talked to someone about converting. It was a really short perios of time though from when I started reading about Islam to when I converted, maybe two months max. I actually ended up giving my shahada over the phone because I didnt want to wait until I had time to meet in person. I cryed when I did because I was so happy, I felt so light. I felt like I was finally "home," like I had been relieved of a huge burden.

For the first 2 years my husband thought it was just a phase and eventually I would go back to Christianity. He was very much against my conversion and very much against teaching the kids anything about Islam, but he has slowly come to accept that this is my faith and the kids were even allowed to celebrate Ramadan with me this year for the first time. He doesn't even complain too much about my headscarf anymore. While my life would be so much easier if he were Muslim too, for the most part, we have made it work.

My parents have not been as accepting so I try not to discuss it with them and tie my scarf in a less obvious way when they are around.

I am very happy with my faith. Islam has literally become my life. It is even my focus of study in school. I can't even accurately put into words how much Islam has changed my life for the better.

[kangamitroo]

summertime, thank you for posting your story. i'm glad you are feeling more support from your husband now. religion is such a personal choice—yet we obviously live it within our families, and it can be hard to be an island of belief.

i'm grateful that mamas have been willing to share their experiences in such detail here.

[kangamitroo]

bumping in case someone might have a story to share.

everyone's experience has been very moving to me.

[BugMacGee]

I'm still figuring myself out spiritually. It's a "trendy" thing to do in my age group according to my mother. But I'm not nearly as eloquent as others.

I als grew up Methodist. My parents were both Midwestern Methodists. I come from a very long line of very good people. But the church just didn't move me. I was a gymnast. Many of my friends through gymnastics were Catholic and I would go to church with them. Catholic church felt like....God.

My parent's church was trying really hard to be "cool" and "relevant" to younger people. Electric guitars, and gettin' real with Jesus. To me, it just seemed silly. I had no spiritual connection to my Sunday "worship"

During that time, I was about 12, we took a family trip to New Mexico and visited all the missons. I found myself surreptitiously reading catechism books. Collecting any and all Catholic info I could, and hiding it!!! I have no idea why. My mom decided to buy a Catechism book for us (my parents are very open minded people) so that my sister and I could learn about Catholicism. I was so excited! I stole it and read it every chance I got.

Years later, I'd drifted away from the Methodist church. Our family took a Christmas trip to Italy. We spent Christmas is Florence. The next day we went to Assisi.

Assisi is the birthplace of St.Francis and St. Claire. It is serenely beautiful. Overlooking the Tuscan hills. I walked into one of the small chapels there and was greeted by a white dove. The place that held St. Francis' hairshirt emitted an eerie almost beckoning sound. It was the most profoundly, viscerally, spiritual place I've ever been. It brings me to tears thinking about it.

I "came out" as a Catholic to my mom in Assisi. She bought me a rosary before we left.

After I came home, and this was when I was in college, I did the RCIA program at our University parish.

I later married into a very devout Catholic family.

I still have a lot of questions since I didn't grow up in the Church. I'm also not sure that I agree entirely with church teachings. I struggle with church dogma, but I feel safe in the Church. Spiritually, I am completely at home. I can't really explain it any further than that. It's confusing to me too

I do have some issues now because I'm divorced. That's another thread entirely.

[genifer]

BugMacGee, I found your story very ... I lost the word now!!! moving... thats it. Very moving. Faith can be a confusing thing, to be sure!

[mammal_mama]

BugMacGee, thank you so much for sharing!

I have been feeling very much drawn towards the Catholic Church -- but, similar to you, I have issues with some of the dogma.

This is one reason I think that as soon as we can get over our cough, we'll start going to a nearby Episcopal Church. From what I've studied so far, this seems to be as close as I can get to Catholicism, while remaining open intellectually.

Madeleine L'Engle has been a real inspiration to me, too, regarding her open-mindedness and her devotion to the Episcopal Church.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by ChasingPeace

Thank you for sharing your conversion story, CB. It was very moving. And great blog!

Hey CP!! Thanks

[SunshineJ]

I was raised in a very nice Christian church. We were like a huge extended family there, with each individual family having attended for a couple of generations. I went to Sunday School, I learned the songs and generally enjoyed it overall. Then when I was around the age of 12 or so, the church split. Seemed some of the administration at the head office far away wanted to allow homosexuals in the church, others didn't, and that filtered down to the individual church level with the congregation being split as well. The way people acted became VERY ugly, and by the time I was around 15 or so my family had formed a new church with many of the other members. Shortly before the move there was a lock-in for the night with the teen kids, and it too was ugly with more disrespect, meaness and just sheer unChristian actions than I'd previously been exposed to. The people overseeing the lock-in really didn't seem to care. I began questioning things then and stopped going to church.

In college I really did start down the path I was intended to take without realizing it. Unfortunately, I didn't want to upset family, and I hadn't had the chance to really explore or become vested in that new path and it ended up on hold for about 20 years.

I did try to go back to church when I was married to my ex. We began to have problems (unrealted to going to church LOL!), and turned to them for counseling. It didn't take long for me to realize that being told by another woman that this man who was an adulterer (and I later learned had a boyfriend across the state) and who's sole purpose of attending services was to dress up and look good was my husband and that I needed to defer to him in everything was not going to work for me! I left, disillusioned again.

One more time I attempted to go back. I am nothing if not tenacious! DH and I were expecting ds, and I did want him raised in the church, with the peer group etc. Obviously I was only remembering the "good" times! So, we got up and made it there at least 2-3 times per month. We watched the church grow. I attempted to get involved - volunteered for the various small groups, only to never hear back. DH was baptized in this church, and it really was a great day. Then, I was a SAHM and DH lost his job. He was out of work for 3 months. The church was a ways away and we simply couldn't afford the gas money to get there. We'd asked them to include us in the prayer list. We sent a couple e-mails asking if they knew of any community resources we could access (sell your stuff of ebay was their answer). After FIVE years of going to this church, this place that had the reputation of being the most outgoing and up and coming church in the area, no one called. We ceased to exist for the church apparently. Not once did anyone call offering us a lift to services or even just to touch base and let us know they were thinking of us. Not once did anyone call or drop a note to say "hey, chin up things will work out!". We did get form letter in the mail to confirm our address as they were considering dropping us off their role. Once DH got a job we did go back a couple of times. A whopping total of 2 people could be bothered to speak to us, out of a congregation for that service of around 150 people. DH and I knew we were finished wasting our time there.

For the next 3 years or so I had time to grow and just be. Away from all the preaching, the hipocracy, etc., I had a chance to actually listen to my soul and reflect on what I had been taught all those years. Many things about the Christian faith didn't add up for me. Many things taught from the pulpit didn't make any sense. I did realize that this may be from the general interpretation that most Christian denominations have of things; no one is still around who saw and interpreted events and sentiments first hand. But no, that was not for me. After reading something online one day I looked into it further. As I read on, I realized that pieces were falling into place - "yes!! That's me! That's the way I've always been!'. Who knew I was really a Pagan at heart? I had DH read some of what I'd come across and we're now earnestly starting our Pagan journey together. Our paths may be a bit different, but we're in the same forest.

[lilyka]

I am sorry you were treated that way. I went to a church for a while that was supposed tpo be the bomb but when I needed help its like I was invisible. It totally sucks.