Need some wise mama advice

[pixiepunk]

So, while i knock furiously on wood, I'm sitting here contemplating how best to honor my 16 month old's desire to not wear trainers. Lately she gets so mad when i try to put one on her. And she wets maybe one a day, usually at a time when i'm too busy or distracted to notice she's telling me she has to pee, or can't get her to a potty fast enough (like last night in the car, in the dark on a windy country road with no place to pull over, 20 minutes from home. she hollered pee pee! pee pee! and i asked her to hold it if she could till we got home, but to use her trainer if she needed it. and of course she did eventually pee in it, but waited about 5 minutes from what i could tell before she did).

so anyway, at home i'm letting her be nudie butt most of the time because i don't like fighting with her, though sometimes i like to put her in a trainer if i can't pay close attention to her, like when i'm cleaning or cooking. i do still need to put her in a waterproof trainer when we go to my work because there are sometimes lots of kids in the daycare and they don't always hear her when she asks for the potty (though they're getting pretty good about it, and she's only had one wet trainer in the last 2 weeks there). but i'm wondering about when we go out. part of me really appreciates the convenience of trainers and that there's no miss to deal with when we're out and about. but the other part of me wants to respect her dislike of them, and to honor her progress rather than my convenience. i did put DS in undies when he was missing at this rate, and just brought along a change or two of clothes, but he was lke 22 months.

so what would you do? i'm not running off to sell my trainers regardless, i know a bout of molar teething could throw us into a tailspin. would she freak out if i tried to put her back in trainers after being in undies? should i just wait for a few months and see how things go? i'm so torn on this - i need some advice!

[hrsmom]

Hi Pixie- I'm not sure if I have any advice! Your post reminded me that one of the things I love about EC is that I can (mostly) honor my baby's desire to not be wearing a diaper! It's on my to-blog-about list! Have you tried eca-pants? They are so easy to put on, snap the belt around their waist and bring the flap between their legs. Hannah has never seemed to mind those. (I hope I didn't jinx myself!) That's the only thought I have at the moment! Seems like trying underwear would be ok?

[pixiepunk]

thanks for the response

i haven't tried ecapants, they seem pretty cool. but DH has been unemployed since April and i only teach 3 classes a week, on top of all the back to school stuff we just had to do for the older two, new trainers are not in the budget. i have lots of small undies i saved from DD1, though, so that wouldn't require any purchasing. and i've got a stash of mostly EC Store trainers, some that i bought and some that were handed down from a friend, so that's what we've got for now - good, bad or othewise

i guess i'm just concerned that she'll like the undies but i won't that if misses became more frequent for one reason or another that it would stress me out and ruin our EC mojo. does that make sense? plus there are times that i have to put her in a trainer, like it or not - they'd flip if i stopped putting one on her at the daycare where i work, they're not really equipped to deal with changing her whole outfit on a regular basis (though they are great about changing her if she's wet, thankfully, i think because she complains when she's wet ). i think she'll need to be able to communicate a little bit better and be able to hold it a little bit longer before i can feel comfortable sending her there in undies.

of course sometimes i think undies wouldn't be any different than trainers - she just doesn't like clothes period and wrestling her into anything these days is a chore it might be that as the weather cools off and clothes become more necessary she'll get more accustomed to being clothed. we live on a farm and don't really have neighbors so none of the kids wear clothes much in the summertime

thanks for listening to my stream-of-consciousness babbling

[hrsmom]

I always enjoy your posts, stream-of-consciousness or otherwise!

I think I dreamt about this last night! What if you sewed a little absorbant pad to some panties? Would she like that? I bet it will be less of an issue with colder weather.

gottago!

[pixiepunk]

well, i've come to the conclusion after a lot of thinking that i'm overthinking this when i look back on when i decided to take the leap to full-time undies with DD1 and DS, it was a really obvious and easy choice to make. i didn't really have to think about it because i knew we were ready. they were graduates at home before they were graduates out and about. i think especially since Elowyn needs to keep wearing trainers when i teach for now, i just need to keep it consistent out of the house so she doesn't get too annoyed with the trainers (like why can i wear undies to the grocery store but not to the wellness center?). it might make her even more annoyed with the trainers that way, and i don't want to make life more difficult for the ladies in the daycare - they are awesome about keeping her dry and offering her the potty even though i'm sure they think i'm nuts

i am going to cut out trainers at home though, and just make a point not to get so immersed in what i'm doing that i totally miss her very obvious communication. it'll probably be easier anyway now that the older two are in school - when they're not home she doesn't spend much time away from me. mostly i plan to just keep her nakey, which i do a lot already, or putting undies on her if i need to put pants on her (like if it's chilly and we're playing outside) - that will be different, since now i always put a trainer on her at those times. i figure if we can manage very few misses at home consistently for a few more months, maybe we can transition to undies full-time at the new year.

[hrsmom]

I'm glad you came up with something! I bet she'll appreciate the break at home.

Ironically, this morning Hannah wanted me to put one of her diapers on her. She was playing around with one, and I asked her if she wanted it on. I put it on her, she took it off a few minutes later, then wanted it back on. She wore it for over an hour, until bath time! Maybe she appreciates that I don't force her to wear diapers right now? (I have over-riden her desire for no diapers at times, but right now she doesn't have to.) Gotta love that independence!

[dogretro]

This is so funny! DD is no where near being ready to be out of a diaper, though she is, knock on wood, totally poop trained. She could probably be in trainers more if I werent so lazy, I admit. Im just not interested anymore in taking her to the potty every 30 mins and she doesnt mind being wet. She will come running and say, "Big girl potty" when she has to poop, which is beyond adorable!!!!

I have been working on sewing her some new semi-waterproof trainers and beefing up her regular trainers, but Ive been bogged down by morning sickness and dont feel like chasing after her, lol.