Nightime Roles for Mom & Dad?

[stardust swallower]

What does your dp/dh/db do during the night? Do you do everything alone? everything together? Does the distribution of labor feel right to you?

We're mostly bed sharing with LO (I have a co-sleeper but it's more work to get him back to sleep and put him down in there). Before he went back to work, dp did the night diapers (2-3) with a smile. Now that he's back to getting up at 5am, I tend to just wake him once during the night for a diaper. The smile is way gone at this point. Those night feedings and wakings (every 2 hours without fail) are lonely... but I also feel kind of bad waking dp (not least because he's such a grouch at night).

How have you worked it out?

[Abraisme]

I pretty much do everything at night. In the beginning DH changed a few night diapers (when she pooped every 2 hours), but now I do one nightly changing. Olivine also wakes up every 2 hours to nurse, but I don't see any reason why we'd all need to wake up for that. Besides she just nurses in bed, so I hardly wake up anyway. If she gets fussy at night I will take her into the living room and sleep with her on the couch. She's had some nasal congestion and has an easier time sleeping if she's elevated.

I really feel that it's my job to wake up at night with the baby. My husband works hard during the day so that I can stay home and raise our children. I don't mind doing it at all.

[Kim Allen]

Hmm DH never did change many diapers with DS1 until DS2 came around then he gladly started changing DS1 to avoid DS2's diapers lol.

Night time I do the work. Dh put DS2 to bed with us the first night and he sleeps the best right between us so that works out.

He is really a great sleeper and usually only wakes once for nursing then falls back sleep before he finishes lol. I keep the diapers and wipes in the bed between Dh and I. I always put a towel under DS2 at night. That way when he does get a change or spit up I can just toss it in the wash.(I was tired of washing the sheets every night the first week.)lol

I figure if Dh is working then its my job to take care of Ds and DS2 at night so dh can get all the rest he needs.

But he does help out around the house alot more now and takes more responsibilities for ds1.

Btw we have a positioner alot like this one http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/asse...615001054P.JPG It come in really handy to know that he is not rolling around everywere while sleeping.

[aydensmama]

I handle night time at our house. My husband just doesn't move well at night. I have everything I need in our side car, and I just sit up and take care of diapers and nursing. Even more so when he goes back to work.

[dislocator3972]

We only have three nights behind us, but so far DH wakes up with me most every time. The first night I tried to nurse my myself but I just don't have the routine down yet, there's too much that I forget to grab, or change my mind about. Plus, our room is set up really weird still, so I have to sleep against the wall so I can sit up, but that puts the changer on DH's side of the bed. And there just isn't room to do it all in the bed.

[Mamabeakley]

With DS1, DH helped in the night for the first . . . 3 - 4 weeks? Maybe longer. Until I learned to side lying nurse, and DS1 stopped pooping for every diaper change. Probably longer - more like 6 - 8 weeks.

With DS2, who slept much better, I found that it was just more work to wake DH up than it was to simply deal with it myself.

DD doesn't sleep as well as DS2 did, but she's also much more laid back than DS1 was/is. I'm doing nighttimes by myself, but DH has been getting up with the kids in the mornings to let me get a little more sleep. He's going back to working close to full time week after next, and he has to leave really early in the morning and I'm a little worried about it. But that's not now - deal with it when it comes.

DH & have always shared both parenting duties and working for pay. He makes it possible for me to work, I make it possible for him to work. He makes it possible for me to be with my kids, I make it possible for him to be with my kids. The reality is, though, that there are some parts of very early parenting that only I can do; and there are some things he can do to help with those things, especially the first time around.

[Jilian]

We have a nice little system that works for us. I put DS1 to bed and bring the baby while DH puts DS2 to bed (much more work). Then I go to bed with the baby and sometimes wake H up for help with one nighttime diaper change. I try not to if he has to get up for work. When DS2 wakes up early in the morning H gets up with him and I sleep in with the baby while he gets breakfast started. That way we both get a somewhat decent amount of sleep.

[ApplePieBaby]

The boys don't really sleep at night, so I usually stay up with them in the living room, so my husband can sleep for work
On the weekends, he gets up with them early in the morning and I can sleep all day if I want

I do wake him if someone is poopy though LOL I hate changing poopy diapers.

[GenomicsGirl]

As far as the older 3 kids go, I bathe them and read stories every night. If hubby is around, he may hold the baby, or he may be "too tired" (usually he's too tired, but I tend not to let him get away with that). After stories, I leave to 6 & 4 year old in their room, and bring the 2-year old into my room and lie with her while I nurse the baby and 2-year old falls asleep. Hubby then takes her to the guest room, where he sleeps with her and I sleep with Griffin. *Note: hubby travels a lot, so we have the routine in place that works best when he's out of town*

The 3 older ones sleep through the night. I deal with Griffin on my own

We tend to play "musical beds" in the first couple years of a child's life - as the kids have grown, they have required different things from us at different times. Next month, the 2-year old may be sleeping with the boys, or she may be with dad!

[wombatclay]

Hmmm... I get the girls ready for bed (shower, teeth, jammies, bedtime story, then sit with them till they're asleep... they share a sibling bed next to the master bed). During this time DH snuggles ds1 and changes any diapers that may happen. I come downstairs, nurse ds if necessary, and then take my shower/put on my own jammies.

I take Tor upstairs to bed and nurse him down. During the night I handle "input" (nursing) and dh handles "output" (diapers). If Tor gets upset and I can't soothe him DH walks him around so we tag team a bit that way. If the girls need something whichever parent is available handles it... if I'm nursing Tor the DH helps the girls but if I'm up an Tor is asleep I'll do it.

It works pretty well, but this is babe three so we've had a few years to work out a balance.