what do you do about moms who always brag about their child? - Page 3

[Quinalla]

Grin and bear it yes and respond with the minimum effort then try to change the subject

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by ShyDaisi

I could see myself being seen as a braggart about my son. Not that I do go around bragging about him on purpose, but it is seriously THE only thing going on in my life that I can talk about that is positive --

Oh, yeah - I hadn't even thought to mention this. I'm sure I bragged about ds1 way too much when he was little. My life was a nightmare, and ds1 was the only bright spot in it. Every positive thing he did, and every accomplishment of his, took on huge importance. When talking to people, I could bitch about my nightmare job (and I did) or bitch about my nightmare marriage (and I did), or talk about ds1. I think most people were actually relieved when I went into bragging mode, because it was a break from my relentless negativity about everything else.

[pinkshamrocks]

I'll pop back in and say that I think being secure with your own situation makes it much easier to accept someone else's bragging - about whatever... children, home size, salary, etc...

I guess that's why it doesn't bother me at all when a parent says wonderful things about their child - even things others might perceive as "bragging". I am completely happy and secure that I'm doing the best I can for my child (though always open to improvement, mind you), so I'm not in competition in any way shape or form with anyone else - even if they might see it that way, I don't... so, it doesn't bother me.

Only I define my own reality.

[Catubodua]

I've always thought it was more a symptom of being too wrapped up in your own life. We've all had friends who were incessant about a new boyfriend or their wedding planning or whatever.

Many times unless you are in the exact same place in your life as the person telling stories they come off as bores.

[crl]

I just wanted to echo the posters who pointed out that the special needs may be playing a role, especially if the child is doing really well. DS is special needs. It can be hard to find someone to talk to about him. Parents of typically developing kids don't get why I was thrilled when he was potty-trained at 3 1/2. Yet talking about DS' progress with other special needs parents can be like rubbing salt in their wounds. So I talk to family. No one else in our family has a kid DS' age or with special needs so I feel like they aren't comparing him to their kids either way, but they are interested in him. . . .

Catherine

[Pearpear]

Ppl that brag about their child are annoying as hell. I know exactly how u feel. Those ppl are definitely insecure, so by them bragging about their child makes them feel good about themselves.

[Adia]

I'd just smile and nod. It's most likely that she's doing it because she's either very insecure and needs her child's minor accomplishments to make her feel impressive, some parents seem to want to live vicariously through their kids, or else she's very lonely and doesn't have other parents to talk to very often, adn when she has you, it all just has to come out.

Either way, there's no use calling her out on it. Just grin and bear it, or try to take her in short bursts if you can so that you don't get frustrated.

[CatsCradle]

Can someone define exactly what bragging means?  I mean, I think we all stand around talking about the positive aspects of parenting (talking about the negative somehow throws you into a category of angry mom/person with issues).

Yeah, I brag about my DD.  She's an awesome kid (not due to anything me or DH have done...she's just an interesting person).  Oh whoops!  I'm bragging.  

The flip side is that I could complain constantly about the difficult times, and believe me, there are plenty.  

What constitutes actual bragging?  Is is:  "My kid read Dickens by three years" or is it "My kid is so smart."  I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt because their child is the thing their life revolves around.  Talking about your kids' perceived successes gives you confirmation that perhaps you are doing something right?  There is nothing more insecure than parenting.  Especially when there is so much data/information/unsolicited advice that you are doing everything WRONG.