Kiddos age separations, thoughts, experiences?

[DeChRi]

I know there are a million opinions and experiences. My friends IRL have many differing thoughts.

I have a 10yo and a 21 months old. We are TTC #3. I find my 10yo to be a huge help with my 21 month old, which I love. I find that the spacing is difficult when it comes time to plan family fun....things 10yo like to do, my 21 mnth can't tolerate, and vice versa.

I am thinking how that changes again with a 3rd baby. I am finding myself thinking about juggling a 3yo and nursing baby, and a 10yo and what challenges there will be.

Anyone with kids aged 2.5-3 years apart? What challenges do you have? What do you like about it? Anyone with larger age gaps?

Just curious.

[dubfam]

We have 2 children, with a little more than 4.5 years between. We found this to be ideal spacing for our family, because DH and I would get overwhelemd if we had more than 1 'baby'. DS 1 was old enough to be done being the baby, and he could be patient and wait for his needs to be met if the baby needed me.

We are really happy with the way it worked out...but I think a lot of it has to do with my kid's personalities. Every family is different of course.

[DeChRi]

Thanks, Dubfam. I kind of felt this way too. I had DD1 on my own, so parenting was very one-on-one, and a bit overwhelming. DD2 is very high needs, so overwhelming as well (though a massive load of fun). I seem to have this way of thinking now that kids are supposed to come in "ones". Then my mom said to me the other day....just wait a few years until DD2 and the new baby (yet to exist) can play together. That is the first time I went...ahhh, they are not only one per decade.

[ChetMC]

Spacing

It seems that whenever the topic of age spacing comes up most people are happy with what they have. They admit that it has it's challenges, but they mostly see the benefits.

Our first two are close in age. Our third is 2.5 years younger than our second DD. A lot of people suggested to us that the transition from two kids to three can be difficult in general because that's when your kids outnumber your hands, and when kids outnumber adults in the household. It wasn't so bad for us though. In our case, our two older children were playmates for each other and that helped keep them entertained when I was busy with the baby. In your case, I'm sure that your older child will be a lot of help with your toddler/preschooler, things around the house, etc.

[KweenKrunch]

I find that lactational amenorrhea has optimally spaced our children. No planning necessary! The kids aren't so close together that I am overwhelmed or having to cut babyhoods short, but not so far that they aren't friends with one another

[ollyoxenfree]

I only have 2, and they are 3 yrs. apart in age. It worked very well for us. At age 3, ds was no longer entirely reliant on me and dh to meet his needs. He could play on his own for short periods of time, he had developed a social circle of friends, he started pre-school. I could focus a little more on our new baby, and he did not feel displaced. Yet he was good at playing with her and trying to help out a little - putting his own toys away, getting toys for her, that sort of thing.

Perhaps because they are brother and sister, there's never been sibling rivalry. They play and work well together - often making meals and cleaning up the kitchen together.

There are different opinions about spacing. When a friend had babies about 18 months apart, I felt sorry for her because she was so exhausted. Two infants, both in diapers, neither sleeping through the night etc. But by the time they were 2 and 3 yrs. old, she was laughing, because they were good companions and playmates for each other. Another friend loved having her children 6 yrs apart, because the older one was in school, so she had all day with the baby. Lots of advantages, no matter what spacing occurs.

[JennTheMomma]

Our son is 2 years old and we are now pregnant with our second. Hunter will be 3 months shy of 3 years old when the next one comes, to me that's perfect age space. I am 3 years apart from my sister and it was nice. We were into the same things, and also seperate things.