Originally Posted by Raene
I'm also scared. She's so tiny and all the what if's of having her home with us are in my mind. We are taking the CPR class at the hospital which is good b/c I need a refresher. But just the thought of her turning blue like she first did...and us having her here...it's scary. And she's just so tiny like a doll. We worry that DD won't be careful enough with her or something.
I remember feeling the exact same way when we got to take DS2 home after heart surgery. He was just barely 6 lbs and seemed so fragile to me. I was really scared. Keeping him in a sling helped ease my anxiety because I could keep an eye on him at all times. I also bought some medical equipment, it sounds silly but being able to take his heartrate, blood pressure, breathing rate, and temp made me feel like I was on top of things. Sleeping was difficult because I was nervous that something would happen while we slept so he slept next to me. In the beginning I woke up every hour but then was gradually able to sleep more and more.
Also, in my experience when I got home from the hospital is when my PTSD and anxiety kicked in. I was on auto-pilot for the entire ICU stay but then when we got home and he was ok the severity of the situation hit me and I was really afraid/sad/anxious for about a month. I cried a lot, like several times a day over the what-ifs. But talking to other moms here on the NICU forum helped so much. There are so many awesome mamas here who have been there so feel free to talk it out if you need to.
I'm so happy to hear that baby Cedar is doing well!
: She is a strong and amazing little girl. You sound like you are doing better too. How are you feeling? I'm sure that being able to hold and cuddle baby Cedar has been a great comfort to you. I'm so happy to hear that you and your DP are holding her often. She's probably so happy to be able to feel your love. I'm sure the colostrum is helping a lot with her recovery too.
Thanks for the update!!! I'm happy to hear the good news.