I'm Done.

[Tiny Explosions]

This is a vent. Not looking for advice... I'm just fed up.

I want to keep and increase my supply, but I'm so sick of LCs. I've seen 4, and they have all been difficult to work with.

Today topped it off.

First, when we came into the LC's office. She was screaming on the phone. When finally she came in to see us, she immediately had me strip DD to weigh her. DD is normally a very cheerful happy baby, but she *hates* this at the doctor's office. When DD started crying, the woman started drilling me about her sleep patterns. The loudness and tonality of this woman made DD cry more.

Immediately the LC accuses me of depriving my DD of sleep, bc we co-slept. She tells me that babies should be in cribs at 4 months.

She then tells me DD is unusual to be crying at being stripped down (DD is 5 months). When I tell this woman that DD thinks she is at the doctor's office and is scared, this LC tells me that a baby shouldn't have the intellect to make that association. Nope, my DD wasn't smart enough to think a birthing center was like the doctor's office...Nope, she was just "sleep-deprived."

She kept putting words in my mouth and trying to ask lots of questions to make me feel like I'm lying, "Is your daughter like this all the time??? Are you saying she's like this with strangers? She should KNOW this isn't the doctor's office!!!"

Strangely, this LC kept going on and on about her "qualifications." She beats me over the head with them at least 4 times during the 1.5 hours I'm at this birth center.

Then she told me to start scheduling feedings, bc supply and demand is making DD not gain weight well. She also said we need to add more formula after each feeding (note: DD is gaining weight and will be on the curve for her age again next month bday at 50% according to the WHO chart).

I felt like a horrible mother, cried in my car before leaving, and almost bought it all until I loaded up DD in the carseat. When I turned on the car, DD suddenly stopped crying and started to cheerfully babble. It was like she knew we were leaving. Total 180 in personality.

I need a good stiff drink (joking...sort of).

[dachshundqueen]

It can be so frustrating to deal with medical personnel who don't take our knowledge of our own children into account and who treat us as if we are merely a number. It can be so hard to navigate the medical field especially when you expect to be given help and instead they are making you feel so harshly judged. What an awful run of it you've had and you've been making every effort to maintain your supply.

You don't say how old your child is, but unless they are not feeding with some frequency (more than 2-3 hours between nursings) cue nursing is the best way to maintain/boost your supply.

I'm sorry that this has been so difficult for you and I hope that things only look up from here.

Liz

[transformed]

its ok.

Call La Leche if you need help.

Don't feel like a failure if this doesn't work. get up and move on to the next fun parenting challenge.

You are a great mother.

[Ruthla]

I'm sorry that LC was so rude to you and to your baby. You both deserve better than that.

I'm also sorry that you're having milk supply issues. Remember that there's more to parenting than lactating. You can be an attached mother without breastfeeding or providing breastmilk. What's important is that you're there for your baby, holding her when she needs comfort, cuddling her while you feed her, etc. Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to bond with your baby but it's not the ONLY way to do so.

[Equuskia]

Is there a way you can report that person? She was incredibly rude, and I applaude your self control to not cause her physical harm. Seriously, who yells at a mother over the phone?

[GoGoGirl]

That sounds awful. How terrible that you went to her for HELP and she just made you feel worse. Ugh, what a jerk. Mama, you're doing a good job. Most moms wouldn't stick it out through 4 LCs! Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mom.

Here's that drink you needed

[crazycandigirl]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Remember that there's more to parenting than lactating. You can be an attached mother without breastfeeding or providing breastmilk. What's important is that you're there for your baby, holding her when she needs comfort, cuddling her while you feed her, etc. Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to bond with your baby but it's not the ONLY way to do so.

Thank you for this. I am having milk transfer issues and feel like such a failure most of the time. I keep trying to remind myself that breastfeeding is only part of who I am as a mother. I will be copying this and sticking it up where I can remind myself of it.


OP Trust your baby and instinct. You know your child best. I think i would have broke down and cried and walked out on someone like that. She needs to realize that there is a difference between medical advice and life style choices. working on latch and milk supply is a medical concern. Where your child sleeps is a life style choice. Anything more that medical advice is just an personal (and unwanted) opinion. craziness.

[momoftworedheads]

I am so sorry that you and your DD had to deal with that LC. Unfortunately there are some bad apples in every profession and she is one!

You are doing what is best for your DD. Do not listen to this LC. I wish I could come and help you, noone should make you feel like this person did!

There is more to being a mama than just the way a baby feeds. You are in tune with your daughter and you are doing your best to give her what she needs. This LC should have understood that!

I woudl report her to the licensing board for LC's. Noone should treat people the way she did. Also, a LC that starts talking formula and not
co-sleeping - I'd love to know her background and where she was trained!

All the best to you mama, hang in there and remember, you are your daughter's mama and you know her Best!

Take care and Hugs!

Have you ever tried fenugreek at all?

[Tiny Explosions]

Thank you so much everyone for the support. I am feeling a lot better—though, I'm afraid to seek help from a LC ever again. Each experience I've had seemed to get worse and worse—even though DD's doing fantastic.

Transformed- Thank you so much about the advice of contacting the LLL. I called their hotline and a wonderful volunteer talked to me. I'm looking into attending meetings in a nearby county.

Originally Posted by GoGoGirl

That sounds awful. How terrible that you went to her for HELP and she just made you feel worse. Ugh, what a jerk. Mama, you're doing a good job. Most moms wouldn't stick it out through 4 LCs! Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mom.

Here's that drink you needed

Oh, thank you! I needed that! I really did (had 1/2 glass of a real one after first writing this).

I was feeling a lot of self-doubt until reading these posts and also hearing from a nice cashier that DD should model for Gerber.

I checked her weight yesterday. According to the WHO charts, she'll be back on her birthweight curve next week! :

The hardest part about this ordeal is this LC was highly recommended and has almost a cult following (at least she did a couple years ago). My doula had even dropped her name to me.

I have a feeling something was off in this LC's life. She was very manic in her behavior - grandiose attitude, fast & loud talking, very defensive even though I said nothing (mostly bc she wouldn't let me finish a sentence). She reminded me a lot of an ex-boss who was an amazing, level-headed, and talented man to work with until he went cold-turkey off his bipolar medication.

Oh, well. I'll be moving on... Definitely taking a break from LCs for a while, but hopefully I will find good support (if not friends ) at the local LLL.

Thank you again, Everybody!