What phrases would you like to eliminate from your parenting vocabulary?

[liliaceae]

Here are the things I am currently trying not to say to my son:


"Good job." -- I haven't uttered this exact phrase in a long time, and I think I'm almost completely over doling out gratuitous praise.

"Be careful." -- I can't believe how often I've been saying this to my son. It really is hardly ever necessary.

"Do you want me to help you?" -- Again, completely unnecessary. If he wants me to help, he'll ask.


Anyone else trying to change the way you talk to your kids?

[ginadc]

No! NonononononononooOOOOOOOOoooo!!!!

(Said mostly to DS, 18 months.)

BECAUSE!!!

(Said mostly to DD, 3.5, after about the 14th "why" sequence in a row.)

[limabean]

"Why did you do that?" It's so not useful, and only makes DS feel bad, and yet it flies out of my mouth before I have a chance to think. I'm working on it though.

[butterfly_mommy]

"You know what" ahhhhh why do I say this? It is so annoying dose not add anything to what I am saying to DS and it constantly reminds me of that skit on Mad TV "You know what? Uh Uh"

I also am really trying to eliminated my making the "URRGGG" sound when DS dose something that frustrates me or inconveniences me. It is so rude and disrespectful to do that to him

I just find that when I am tired/frustrated/hungry/mad/whatever I just go on automatic impatient mom mode.

[birdie22]

Originally Posted by limabean

"Why did you do that?" It's so not useful, and only makes DS feel bad, and yet it flies out of my mouth before I have a chance to think. I'm working on it though.

Yes, I was going to suggest "What are you thinking??!!" Totally useless, and probably not even a logical question to my 4 yo. It just popped out today when I saw he was trying to pound a screw into the dining room table.

I could also add the question, "Who did this?" I already know, so why do I bother asking?

[loraxc]

"Now you made me..."

"Because I said so."

And I second, "Why did you do that?" (Why do I ASK that?)

[~LadyBug~]

"Are you serious?" Hell of course she is serious she wants me to spin her around the room until I almost fall over and vomit!

"Let's go" I keep saying this over and over just hoping they will get moving a tad bit faster.

[jeliphish]

"Damn It"! ....:

Just kidding...

[proudmamanow]

lol at dammit, me too!
also hang on!
be careful!
and anything phrased as a question that is not really a question, because my 4 yo always answers no!

[New]

"In a minute"

[mommajb]

Originally Posted by jeliphish

"Damn It"! ....:

Just kidding...

because knowing it isn't healthy to hold in your feelings you don't really want to eliminate it?

[heidirk]

"I have had ENOUGH!" Just completely and totally meaningless to a three year old.

[funkymamajoy]

"Come on!"

It doesn't make them go any faster and its probably my fault that we're running late in the first place.

[monkey-lamb]

"No m'am!" when I see DD climbing on something, etc. My family was in town this weekend, and it reminded me where I got it from.

[EcoFriendlyMommy]

LOL I am reading through this and laughing because I use like almost every phrase mentioned here! Especially, "seriously?" and "let's go, let's go"... I use so many meaningless phrases, if I really stopped using them all I wouldn't have anything left in my vocabulary

[Redheaded_Momma]

"I you do X again you won't get to do Y or I will take Z away" Threatening him makes me feel so horrible. But sometimes I cannot come up with anything else.

[jennydecki]

"Be Nice"

I need to be more specific. Be kind, be gentle, be whatever depending on the situation...but no more be nice.

I'm trying to raise up women here, not nice girls that will go along instead of standing up for themselves when they grow up.

Thought of this earlier because the girls were fighting and I said it and the one I told to be nice was the one trying to get her toy back from the other one that had snatched it. *sigh* (bad-timing-mommy-guilt)

[Fujiko]

"Mommy (verb and rest of sentence)."
Seriously, why do I have to speak in the third person, and why can't I stop?!?

[Landover]

I am going out on a limb to say that I don't think most of these are bad....

These are all phrases that represent genuine emotion and reality from you, and there isn't anything wrong with kiddos being exposed to that. Now, I don't expose DS to the raw emotion of... "You are driving me crazy so please go away" , but I see nothing wrong with most of these (although I applaud you for these being to worst things you can think of that you say to your kids).

For example... "In a minute" - Kids need to learn to not expect instant gratification, and sometimes if it a reality in life that you need a minute.

Also.... Any phrase such as "Why would you do that?" or "What are you thinking?" These are genuine, off the cuff remarks when we see that anyone has done something wild or unpredicted. If phrased from a mother it might even make a kiddo think... "Why would I do that?"

The whole "good job" thing is strange to me (and there was a thread about this not long ago as well). I will continue to tell my kiddo he does a GREAT job at baseball, reading, etc. forever!

I dunno.... Just hoping nobody thinks any of this is too terrible.

[liliaceae]

Originally Posted by Landover

The whole "good job" thing is strange to me (and there was a thread about this not long ago as well). I will continue to tell my kiddo he does a GREAT job at baseball, reading, etc. forever!

These articles explain it much better than I can:
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm
http://www.naturalchild.org/robin_gr...ds_praise.html