September Pagan Circle - Page 8

[Aeress]

You ladies are cracking me up---things I just don't think about living in a house of girls. I got a slight visual of your description(s)....

Well, my house is ready- the kids arrive tomorrow 8:45 ish.

Ok, I promised pics. Let me take some and post them.

I am bit confused and a little lost, but I will try and keep up with everyone. I am going back to "work" after being home for 3 years. Wow, 3 years.

[CariOfOz]

Karen, how exciting! I hope your (and the childrens') first day is great and if you think you're cracking up...imagine being a nursing student doing your first male cath LOL, omg it was nearly the undoing of some of the younger girls hehehe.. and totally weird for the guys

I've been, and still am, doing a bit of spring cleaning today. A bit : as my dear husband does not seem inclined to help with much, but little does he know he's doing the kindy pick up so that I can do what I'm doing lol. I'm also going back through some of our camp stuff from last year and trying to bring a few things from that into this house (it's a sterile boring new house, so it needs all the oomph it can get!)

We had some awesome storms last night, but today is just the most glorious day out :

[DaughterOfKali]

Woohoo...it's like Monday! (back to school after a long weekend)

[Aeress]

Oh No, I think DOK is on something, she is happy it is Monday. *hehe* laughs

Well, I am dressed and have eaten breakfast. Time to unload the dishwasher, clean the sink and put out the sign in book. Good Morning World! :

[LionessMom]

i am 35 weeks now. i feel so full. i dont think i look that big or feel that big but i def feel full. cant sleep lately. not very well anyway. i bet i got 6 weeks left of this at least. baby has dropped so that is uncomfortable. i feel so inside myself. kwim? not really attuned to the outside world. totally focused on what is happening inside me. it is the time of year i usually look outside to the world to notice the changes to fall but i am completely inside myself.

the fall does make me feel more witchy. we usually get out all the decs around the first of october. i am excited. i think more so b.c my babe will be brand new around that time. or 2 weeks old, something like that. so i have a summer baby, a spring baby, a fall baby, and a winter baby.

i need to start lighting a candle and incense everyday again. anything to remind me everyday to have a practice of mindfulness. of thankfulness.

i already bought the baby a monkey costume. even though DH will be taking DD and DSD out and I will be staying home with DD2.

[DaughterOfKali]

Originally Posted by Aeress

Oh No, I think DOK is on something, she is happy it is Monday. *hehe* laughs

Too funny! I had forgotten to put the word "like" in there. No school yesterday so today felt like Monday.

Going to get my boobs squished today.
Yeah, where's your mind at right now? I'm getting a mammogram.

[singin_angel]

Ah the joys of catching up on 3-4 pages of this thread You lovely ladies make me smile!

Bella - I'm happy to hear that even though not tons of people celebrated your re-birthing day with you, that you did celebrate, get out there, and I can't wait to hear more of your new adventures!

Clay - the full moon potlucks sound awesome! I hope that comes together for you!

Maia and Cari - you aren't grossing me out at all...but I've always been interested in that stuff and I'll have to learn sometime since I am hoping to get into midwifery

LM - 2 more weeks and you would be considered full term (at least here). Hopefully you have some time to relax and get to know your little one since you have that inward focus

--

We had an interesting weekend. I need some time to rest/relax. Pleasing everyone just doesn't work.

I'm cleaning (again) now that everyone has left and DD has what feels like a million birthday presents. We are jumping into things head-first here with a crazy week and my first weekend away from DD since I'm on a military course (Friday night to Sunday evening). I'll probably be more of a mess than her!

I did get to enjoy the Full Moon, not as much as I would have liked, but that's something at least!

DD and I are going to start some "homeschool preschool" activities. Nothing overly structured but something to make me feel like our day has a purpose. Still doing the regular toddler things - playing outside, drawing, reading books, etc. I've signed us up for a toddler reading time at the library (30 mins of songs and books). We did the baby version a while back so this should be alright. I hope we can get her into swimming (registration is tomorrow morning).

So I now have to head over and catch up on altar camp! yay! :

[BellaLuna Rayne]

Hi all.

I realized that mornings suck for me now because 1) low blood sugar and 2) I wake up alone to a pretty empty house. Why this bothers me now and not while the ex was deployed is sorta hard to explain I guess. Maybe because when he was deployed, I thought he'd come home to me?? IDK. Anyway, that's my little "woah is me" moment for today.

I pulled out my AAMI stuff today. *sigh* I am so far behind and I desperately need a real job for money. My Mom keeps pushing me to go to the local technical college and take classes in "the medical field" or to join the military in "the medical field." Ugh.

I'm starting to daydream again and my daydreams are nothing like what she is pushing me for. I just kinda nod my head at what she has to say.

I am loving reading all about your guys' littles and the school stuff. *Le Sigh* One day I'll be posting stuff like that too

[mary3mama]

Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne

I'm starting to daydream again and my daydreams are nothing like what she is pushing me for.

What are your daydreams? If you don't mind sharing?

I believe, quite firmly, that understanding why we daydream what we do is important. Yes, sometimes they are frivolous and a good little mini-vacation for the brain. But sometimes they are messages from our soul.

Sorry, don't mean to get all maternal and mother-hen-ish on you, but, um, I am a mother hen type of person and as I am 44, old enough to be your mother, so maybe it's all ok.

[BellaLuna Rayne]

Originally Posted by mary3mama

What are your daydreams? If you don't mind sharing?

I believe, quite firmly, that understanding why we daydream what we do is important. Yes, sometimes they are frivolous and a good little mini-vacation for the brain. But sometimes they are messages from our soul.

Sorry, don't mean to get all maternal and mother-hen-ish on you, but, um, I am a mother hen type of person and as I am 44, old enough to be your mother, so maybe it's all ok.

I daydream about my babies, of having a home in the country where I grow my own food, have animals, bake, cook, etc. I dream about having a loving husband, like how my ex was during the good times. I think about homeschooling my kids, raising them pagan and of being happy. Being an awesome midwife, financially stable, self sufficient, so on and so forth.

I daydream about all the things my ex and I talked about the first 2.5 years. Those things are still my dreams.

[bluets]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

I forgot my other part of the equation: If something is still screaming "buy me" 24 hours later, I go back and get it. If I've forgotten, then it's not meant for me
And if it's a fair or something, where there isn't a chance 24hr later, then it's my bad and I lost out. That's a rarity, though. More often I end up wasting money for being impulsive

Hahaha.... i'm usually like that - only i never made it back to the fair and i didn't get the artist's info so.... it wasn't meant for me. On the other hand, this afternoon, I really wanted a coffee from the kiosk in our building only i didn't want dh to know (he gives me grief) so i had to use cash... and i had exactly $1.82. And guess how much the coffee was Cashier must have thought I was nuts when I said that I was meant to have coffee today.

[bluets]

Originally Posted by mary3mama

Sorry, ladies. I don't mean to put in like 35 posts but I just can't seem to get the hang of the multi-person quoting/posting y'all are so good at. By the time I respond to one person, I've forgotten all my other replies. And I can't even figure out how you do multi-quoting.

well, i can figure it out but i can't remember beyond the first response....

[bluets]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

Am I the only one who likes Aragorn? I think he's way hotter than Legolas...but I've always been partial to darker haired men anyway. Legolas is cute, but he's too...I dunno, clean, or something

definitely Aragorn... maybe Faramir (though he has wimpy moments that are so not cool).... maybe Eomer (and that actor made some quirky prior appearances in Xena)

[bluets]

Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne

I let everything hit me for little bit earlier. I got distracted by something so it didn't last too long. I suppose I should have another big outpouring of emotions, but I don't want everybody here when it happens. I kinda just want to feel it alone, without people telling me what I already know about being better off.

All I have gotten done today is cleaning a very stinky litter box. Oh, I did trip UP the stairs too. Basically, I am trying to chill and figure my life out.....its odd.

I've also been through my share of relationships so I understand your pain. I also concur with Maia that mothers (and other family members) need constant re-training about boundaries as we (the offspring/relative) age. It is entirely appropriate to point out unhelpful behavior but then you also have to follow it up with what would be helpful.

This kind of dialogue also comes in handy in almost any other kind of relationship (partner, child, employee/employer, etc) so if you don't already do that sort of thing, now is as good a time as any to start. I find it helps me solidify in my mind what I *do* find helpful or not, appropriate or not, etc.

[mary3mama]

Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne

I daydream about my babies, of having a home in the country where I grow my own food, have animals, bake, cook, etc. I dream about having a loving husband, like how my ex was during the good times. I think about homeschooling my kids, raising them pagan and of being happy. Being an awesome midwife, financially stable, self sufficient, so on and so forth.

I daydream about all the things my ex and I talked about the first 2.5 years. Those things are still my dreams.

Beautiful!!
More to add later...sleeping 2yo in arms now.

[singin_angel]

Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne

I daydream about my babies, of having a home in the country where I grow my own food, have animals, bake, cook, etc. I dream about having a loving husband, like how my ex was during the good times. I think about homeschooling my kids, raising them pagan and of being happy. Being an awesome midwife, financially stable, self sufficient, so on and so forth.

I daydream about all the things my ex and I talked about the first 2.5 years. Those things are still my dreams.

Those are beautiful and I know I'm not the only one here cheering for you!

I want to go into midwifery as well, but since dd is 2 and we want another baby first so I can have time at home to nurse and all that good stuff, I am waiting for school (at least 2-3 years from now to even start the 4-6 year program). However, I am a childbirth educator and labour doula. The CBE stuff lets me make my own schedule, which lets me watch DD during the day without the worries about childcare. The doula stuff I picked up recently both because I want to do it and good timing for so many reasons. Both of those could help you fund your AAMI stuff and help reinforce the information. If you take a peek at the birth professionals board here, they have listed different organizations to become a CBE or doula (or both). It also (as a great benefit) helps get your feet wet in the birth community in your area and network, which is totally how to get a job as a midwife (or even apprentice) later (or great referals!). Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more, but I just thought I would throw it out there as a related idea. I know that whatever you choose to do, will be the best decision for you!

[Ambystoma]

I have my ultrasound in 1 week to check on how this kid is growing--and hopefully to get a peek at the bits so I can crochet some things that aren't strictly gender neutral. Meanwhile-my ILs (including SIL and her bf) arrive next wednesday and will be here for an entire week. I have no idea what to do while they are here-other than hitting up NOLA for a day or so. A week's worth of entertainment is hard to come by! At least they'll be gone in time for DH and I to have a nice Mabon celebration--definitely planning apple pie!:

Oh, you ladies and your catheter talk. I think I would be too awkward to do something like that-but I agree that theoretically male insertion seems MUCH easier.

Originally Posted by bluets

definitely Aragorn... maybe Faramir (though he has wimpy moments that are so not cool).... maybe Eomer (and that actor made some quirky prior appearances in Xena)

I third this! Aragorn is by far hotter than Legolas. I'm a dark hair lady, too.

DoK-good luck on the booby squishing!

Lioness-please post pictures of the baby in the monkey costume. That sounds so cute, I can't stand it.

gun-a Mabon baby would be sweet. And those Dia de los Muertos beads are awesome! Off to peruse the site a bit more to buy things I can't afford....

[BellaLuna Rayne]

Originally Posted by singin_angel

Those are beautiful and I know I'm not the only one here cheering for you!

I want to go into midwifery as well, but since dd is 2 and we want another baby first so I can have time at home to nurse and all that good stuff, I am waiting for school (at least 2-3 years from now to even start the 4-6 year program). However, I am a childbirth educator and labour doula. The CBE stuff lets me make my own schedule, which lets me watch DD during the day without the worries about childcare. The doula stuff I picked up recently both because I want to do it and good timing for so many reasons. Both of those could help you fund your AAMI stuff and help reinforce the information. If you take a peek at the birth professionals board here, they have listed different organizations to become a CBE or doula (or both). It also (as a great benefit) helps get your feet wet in the birth community in your area and network, which is totally how to get a job as a midwife (or even apprentice) later (or great referals!). Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more, but I just thought I would throw it out there as a related idea. I know that whatever you choose to do, will be the best decision for you!

I've been trying to attend a workshop through ALACE, now known as ToLabor since January of 2008 (they canceled my original workshop and I had to cancel the one I was sponsoring due to my divorce and lack of funds). I've done all the required reading, just need a workshop. I have a website for my doula services, and sporadically get contacts, nobody has ever hired me though I attended one birth with a mentor and she said I would make an awesome doula, that I was ready without a workshop, etc.

I know I need to network more, but I am so shy and its even worse with starting to heal from everything that happened.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by bluets

definitely Aragorn... maybe Faramir (though he has wimpy moments that are so not cool).... maybe Eomer (and that actor made some quirky prior appearances in Xena)

Definitely Faramir or Aragorn.

[mary3mama]

Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne

I daydream about my babies, of having a home in the country where I grow my own food, have animals, bake, cook, etc. I dream about having a loving husband, like how my ex was during the good times. I think about homeschooling my kids, raising them pagan and of being happy. Being an awesome midwife, financially stable, self sufficient, so on and so forth.

I daydream about all the things my ex and I talked about the first 2.5 years. Those things are still my dreams.

Ok, both arms free now so I can type. Like I said before: beautiful dreams!

When I was 24 I was in a bad place too. I'd not been married or divorced, mind you, but I had been and continued to be alone and crippled emotionally.

Someone once asked me what I would say to my 18 year old self if I could go back and tell myself something. My answer would be the same if we changed that to 24:

Someday, somehow, if you just hang in there, life will become blindingly, maddeningly, illogically great! Don't give up and don't give in. You were born for a reason. Nothing that is happening to you right now has the power to define you for all eternity. Perservere. Joy will follow.

And everything that is on your list, short of midwifery, is in my life right now (or at least almost...homesteading starts next spring. ) I didn't even meet my now beautiful husband until I was, um, 26 I think. We became best friends and spent every moment possible together for over a year before we started dating and then we got married on my 29th birthday. And now there are these dear, wonderful, insanely funny, 'frighteningly brilliant' children in my life. (Frighteningly brilliant being a phrase coined by said husband to describe the children.)

I have no doubt you will find your way and I thank god/goddess/heaven that you did not start on that dream with your ex. He wasn't worthy of you or the wonderful children you will one day have.

Focus on BEING extraordinary. Focus on knowing yourself. Focus on whatever leads you to peeling off the layers of gunk in your way (tapping, maybe?) You will attract the person that you will make those dreams with...but only when you are whole in yourself.

Sorry, not meaning to sound like some sappy Hallmark card...but I do believe these things. I met my husband about 6 months after I had my own re-birth that is a story in itself. I am grateful that he and I did not meet before then, because he wouldn't have been interested in spending time with the person I was before then.

Gotta go make dinner. But I didn't want to go to bed tonight before commenting further.