Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne
I daydream about my babies, of having a home in the country where I grow my own food, have animals, bake, cook, etc. I dream about having a loving husband, like how my ex was during the good times. I think about homeschooling my kids, raising them pagan and of being happy. Being an awesome midwife, financially stable, self sufficient, so on and so forth.
I daydream about all the things my ex and I talked about the first 2.5 years. Those things are still my dreams.
Ok, both arms free now so I can type. Like I said before: beautiful dreams!
When I was 24 I was in a bad place too. I'd not been married or divorced, mind you, but I had been and continued to be alone and crippled emotionally.
Someone once asked me what I would say to my 18 year old self if I could go back and tell myself something. My answer would be the same if we changed that to 24:
|Someday, somehow, if you just hang in there, life will become blindingly, maddeningly, illogically great! Don't give up and don't give in. You were born for a reason. Nothing that is happening to you right now has the power to define you for all eternity. Perservere. Joy will follow.
And everything that is on your list, short of midwifery, is in my life right now (or at least almost...homesteading starts next spring.
) I didn't even meet my now beautiful husband until I was, um, 26 I think. We became best friends and spent every moment possible together for over a year before we started dating and then we got married on my 29th birthday. And now there are these dear, wonderful, insanely funny, 'frighteningly brilliant' children in my life. (Frighteningly brilliant being a phrase coined by said husband to describe the children.)
I have no doubt you will find your way and I thank god/goddess/heaven that you did not start on that dream with your ex. He wasn't worthy of you or the wonderful children you will one day have.
Focus on BEING extraordinary. Focus on knowing yourself. Focus on whatever leads you to peeling off the layers of gunk in your way (tapping, maybe?) You will attract the person that you will make those dreams with...but only when you are whole in yourself.
Sorry, not meaning to sound like some sappy Hallmark card...but I do believe these things. I met my husband about 6 months after I had my own re-birth that is a story in itself. I am grateful that he and I did not meet before then, because he wouldn't have been interested in spending time with the person I was before then.
Gotta go make dinner. But I didn't want to go to bed tonight before commenting further.