What happens at a LLL meeting?

[Beauchamp]

I am thinking of going. I've never been to one. BFing is going reasonably well for me, so I don't necessarily need help, although I'm sure I will learn something new. I am hoping to meet some other mamas there, though. What are the meetings like? I am a little nervous about what to expect. Meeting people is not my strong suit...

[larzanna]

Hey,
a bunch of ladies just sit around and pretty much chat about BF. There are always kids there, the meetings i have been too have ages from 7 weeks to 5 years (that one was still BF too)
There is a "topic" of the month and that is loosely followed, but the conversation seems to kinda eb and flow and take different turns.
They are totally fine, the people are nice. I don't think the meeting are my cup of tea, but my mom loved them when i was growing up.

I would go if i were you.

[KristyDi]

I live near 2 different meetings. I've been to and enjoyed both of them. The 2 meetings are very different. At one the leader announces the topic, anyone who has questions or comments goes ahead, then the conversation just flows naturally to anything bf related or even just baby or toddler related. The other meeting is more organized. The leader plans little activities to go along with the topic and actively tries to direct the conversation to stay of topic, or at least bf related.

I suggest you go to a meeting. I've never had any bf problems at all and I still go and enjoy the meetings. I met one of my best friends at my first LLL meeting and I just enjoy talking with other mamas who are likely to be mostly like minded.

[Beauchamp]

How many women are at a meeting? Is it really crowded? I'm a little nervous that I'll show up and there'll be 6 women who know each other really well..and me.

[jennifercp8]

For me, the meetings were about networking, and finding other people like me. By the time I knew that LLL meetings existed, I had already gone through most of my troubles.

When my DS was 10 months old, we moved to Paris, France. I attended the English speaking LLL meetings held every couple of weeks and loved it. There were about 10 moms and their kiddos, and we would have a pot-luck lunch afterwards. There was usually a topic, and the leaders pretty much kept everyone on board to the topic. The kids would play in the same room - but I was attending the infant-specific meetings. There was also a toddler group that met on the off weeks. It was great to connect with other English speaking moms, and create a bigger network.

My meetings in the states were less structured, but I still enjoyed them. I definitely learned quite a bit, even if it didn't pertain to me at the time.

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by Beauchamp

How many women are at a meeting? Is it really crowded? I'm a little nervous that I'll show up and there'll be 6 women who know each other really well..and me.

There's really no way for us to predict that. I've been to meetings with just 4 mamas and meetings with 15 or so mamas. Usually there are a few who know with each other and a few newbies.

If it would help you be less nervous you could call the leader and ask a few questions and just touch base with her so you're not walking in cold. But every meeting I've ever been to has been very friendly and welcoming to new folks.

The September meeting is coming up this Friday in my area and I'm really looking forward to it.

[sweet.p]

Definitely try one or two meetings, you can call the leader and ask her about the meetings, or just show up.
The ones I've been to have felt very inclusive and friendly to who ever shows up, a easy place to socialize.

In my area there could be 20 or more women at the meeting, other times 10 women.

It's not about "breastfeeding problems" it's more about mothering a breastfeeding child.

Get to the meeting at least 10- 15 mins early and it's informal time with each other, then when the meeting starts the leader has a topic .

[emilysmama]

I strongly encourage you to go. I too, didn't even think of going to any meetings until breastfeeding was well under way. (I spent all my time trying to resolve some difficult breastfeeding issues.) Even so, I found the meetings to be valuable. I enjoyed meeting new people. When I first attended LLL meetings, I didn't know anyone at all. I am introverted by nature, and I did not go with the intention of making friends. I was just curious, really. However, I have made some very close friends that I would never have otherwise met.

I live near three meetings in three different cities. For a while, I regularly attended all three, and now I only regularly attend the closest two, even though my dd is 5.5 y.o. and has long since weaned herself. My house was the location for four meetings several years ago.

I can tell you what the three LLL groups have in common with their meetings. (Forgive me if I get anything wrong. I am NOT a leader, but I have attended a LOT of meetings in three different cities for the past 5 years.)

We sit in a circle. Sometimes we sit in chairs, sometimes some of us sit on the floor, sometimes some of us sit on rocking chairs. (The meetings are often located in a church nursery, which is a bonus for mothers who bring toddlers or older children.) Sometimes a combination. Really, whatever makes the mother comfortable.

Although some groups have meetings in member homes, the meetings often seem to be located in a church, not because of religious affiliation, but because it's free, can be scheduled the same time each month, and the group is allowed to bring snacks to serve.

The leader introduces herself.

Then, and this is very important especially for the expectant mothers, she gives directions to the nearest bathroom.

Because almost everyone has brought at least one baby or toddler or older child, the leader states that if at anytime you have to tend to your child's needs, feel free to do so. Maybe a child has to have mother take child to toilet. Maybe a toddler wants to start eating the snacks on the table instead of waiting for the social part of the meeting, in which case, the mother is welcome to serve the child. Maybe a baby needs a diaper change, which most of us just do on the floor. Maybe the baby needs to nurse, in which case the mother nurses while the rest of the room carries on. Maybe the baby is fussy? Then mother might stand up and hold the baby while bouncing while discussion continues around her. Maybe the baby is wailing like a banshee and no one can hear any conversation over the babies crowd? In this case the mother, of her own choice, steps out into the hallway for a couple minutes until baby is happy.

The leader must always state that LLL is just about breastfeeding, even though you might hear about other topics, LLL is only about supporting breastfeeding. The leader must always also state that there is the possibility that not everything you hear advised will work for everyone, and that you should just take what will work for your family, and ignore the rest. The leader always makes these statements in every meeting even though in some cases the leader can be decidedly crunchy. This is because some of the mothers who attend are mainstream, and some of the mothers who attend are very crunchy. A discussion about breastfeeding might accidentally detour wildly into comments about things like home births or vaccinations or lactivism or knitting etc. This might make a brand new mainstream mother feel excluded or uncomfortable and not come back, and defeat the purpose of reaching out to support breastfeeding for everyone.

We go around in a circle introducing ourselves, and saying how many children we have and how old they are. (Or when the expected child is arriving).

The first hour or 45 minutes is a semi-structured component, and I used the term very loosely. The meeting will be about one of four possible broad breastfeeding topics (I can't remember exactly, advantages of breastfeeding, nutrition and breastfeeding?, weaning, and something else?). To motivate discussion, the leaders I know will prepare a simple conversation starter. For example, one time we played pictionary, by drawing breast related pictures on dry-erase board to spark a different discussion each turn. Another time, each person had an index card with a question to read aloud and then the group would discuss. So that what would seem like a mundane discussion of a circle of women talking about breastfeeding is actually very fun, even if you don't know a single person in the room. Even though the discussion starts with a topic, the discussion is informal in that if a mother suddenly thinks up a question about a completely different aspect of breastfeeding, she is encouraged to ask it right on the spot. The reason is that because babies can be so unpredictable, and the leader would much rather that a new attendee ask her question and get help right away, instead of have the attendee have to suddenly leave and go home before having a chance to ask her question.

At the end of the sturctured portion of the meeting, many new attendees are anxious to go home because baby might be getting fussy. But if you can manage to stay a little longer, even as little as 15 minutes more, I strongly encourage you to do so.

This is because the next 30-45 minutes of the meeting is the social portion of the meeting. What we do is stand/sit around, eating snacks and jabber about anything we like. You get to meet people. If you don't know anyone, you listen in on conversations, and soon you will become a part of the conversation. Your baby or her baby is always good for a conversation starter, and then the ice is broken.

During the structured part of the meeting, the leader is concentrating on running the meeting. But during the social part of the meeting, the leader has a chance to walk up to you, welcome you, chat a little bit, and answer any questions about breastfeeding that you might not have felt comfortable asking during the structured part of the meeting. You can ask a leader to look at your latch if you have a concern. The leader might have some pamphlets that she can give you to take home if you have specific concerns about an aspect of breastfeeding. The leader will have some training about some common issues and problems about breastfeeding. Some leaders have a lot more training and knowledge about unusual breastfeeding issues.

The leader has a collection of very good LLL-approved books that serve as a lending library. The library acts as an honor system that you sign out the book and return it at the next meeting. The social part of the meeting is a good time to browse the books to see if there are any books that you want to borrow for a month.

The leaders are very good at making a new attendee feel welcome and at ease. I remember the first meeting I went to, two leaders came to talk to me and made me feel very comfortable- it was only much later that I found out that they are by nature very introverted and not comfortable making small talk with strangers- and yet their manner did not betray them in the slightest.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

The meeting I go to has about 10 women come each month. About 5 of them are regulars and the other 5 are either new or only come every once in a while. There is always a new mom or two with a baby usually under a month old (one was only a few days old once!). They are usually there because they are struggling and need some support and advice. I like going just to be supportive of them and because it's a nice evening out of the house.

[funkymamajoy]

My meetings are pretty informal and we try to make everyone feel welcome. We never get to the topic but the leaders are great at making sure that the new moms get their questions answered. We go to support each other and to feel supported.

[Ianthe]

I've been to most of the LLL groups in my area and they are all different... but similar at the same time. I started going at first because I needed an excuse to get out of the house, but I have made many wonderful mama friends, and the discussions are great. Even if you don't have any breastfeeding issues, it's a great place to meet new people, get out of the house, and be able to discuss mothering.

[Asiago]

I've only been to two meetings thus far, but I liked them very much. It was a casual atmosphere, the ladies were friendly and welcoming. There were new members at each meeting I attended. Each meeting was small, less than eight people. Some members are pregnant with first child, others are second and third time moms.

[Quinalla]

Thanks for all the information, especially emilysmama. I am planning to attend a meeting or two while I am still pregnant and it is good to have an idea of what to expect. I am sure each group is a little different, but it sounds like overall a good place to meet people beyond just getting some more information and possible local contacts if I have problems with breastfeeding.