How to talk to kids about strangers/kidnappers? - Page 2

[ScarletBegonias]

it's really hard for me personally to express myself accurately in a forum.

dd is extremely sensitive and intelligent. i feel comfortable with her level of maturity telling her these things. so does dh.

i know my dd, and i also don't think scare tactics are a good way to parent. talking about these things makes her more sad than scared. she wants to know WHY. she is philosophical about it. she doesn't become clingy and freaked out. her mood becomes contemplative.

i guess where we live (california), there are a lot of convicted sex offenders and both dh and i have very close friends and family members who have been raped/assaulted and one attempted abduction (my aunt) by complete strangers.

so for us it is a very very real possibility that one of our children could be taken from us in an instant.

just a few months ago, a reg sex offender broke into a neighbors house and molested a 9 year old girl. and we live in the sierra nevada mountain forest on acreage, as most people do here. the dangers are very real.

[gsd1amommy]

Originally Posted by abiyhayil

DH came home with a good idea recently. He suggested teaching to yell 'This is NOT my mom/dad' if someone tries to take him instead of screaming since many people avert their attention from screaming children assuming it's a tantrum. I think it was a really good idea!

I have instructed my children to scream "FIRE, FIRE, FIRE" if a situation ever arose where someone is attempting to take them. People tend to pay attention to the word "FIRE" as where children screaming and flailing away from their parents is so commonplace.

[lovevolving]

First of all, thank you so much for responding everyone. I got some helpful ideas.

For those of you in the "It's so unlikely, it's so rare..." camp- I am a seriously laid back, trusting kind of person. I used to be there too. But after the Jaycee thing got brought up again for me last week, with all the new details, my paranoia went from about a 2 to about a 8. And then I googled "sex offender" and found seven men within three blocks of us that have been arrested for "lewd acts with a child under 14" (up to 9) and then I read these statistics (hello 10):

http://www.examiner.com/x-10270-Pasc...hild-abductors

"The typical sexual predator will assault 117 times before being caught." AAAH!

Not meaning to freak anyone out here. Just sharing info and saying Thank You for the suggestions

[GuildJenn]

The vast majority of offenders are known to the child, just keep that in mind. I remember reading Protecting the Gift and realizing that I had just spent a week obsessing about screening nannies for my son, while not putting a gate at the top of the stairs.

[meemee]

scarletbegonia's i can relate to how scary it can be. but you seem to do what's best for your child.

i have come from the same background. i was raped at 5 and then molested in my teens. if you really talk to a lot of women like i have you will find no matter what country you are - some sort of molestation is more the norm, rather than rare. i know many who have gone thru some horrifying things and some not so horrifying on the scale.

however i just cant get into the details of warning my dd. i just could not let my life experience affect my dd. i live v. close to predators. i mean they are everywhere where i am and i am esp. close to a place where they all stay when they first get out before moving on.

my dd is sweet, v. v. independent and curious child. telling her about the dangers of life before she was ready or trying to keep her close to me would be crushing her spirit. however this is me and my child. every child, every situation is different. however the thing is not living in fear. i refuse to live in fear. fear is debilitating, limiting. i watched how fear destroyed my family. and because of that i wont do it.

i did what i thought was best for my dd. what she could handle. she discovered 'bad people' from watching ninja turtles. she discovered about evil thru cartoons. a better way of introducing it rather than from RL situations. seh was able to handle that much better. so when the dialogue opened up we talked about what 'bad' looks like in real life. she was probably 5 by then and we discussed what made someone bad. what bad could look like. more as a contemplation.

there is a possibility for anyone that their kids could be taken at anytime.

one day i know my dd will start driving. and i will have to let her go. one day she is going to ask to walk alone to school. and i will have to let her. growing old, being warned of situations does not mean your child will never be taken - as jaycee's.