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inlaws showering wiht my kids-how would you feel? - Page 4

post #61 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
But...it's their grandparents. It's not like the teenage babysitter you use once every three months is showering with the kids. I dunno....I just don't see what's so icky about my parents being nude with my kids. Jeez....I came out of my mother's body.

For those who send their kids to school (or plan to), are you going to be upset when your kids are made to get naked with all their classmates after gym, with a teacher watching? That started in 7th grade, for me. Far ickier than soaking in the ofuro with my grandma when I was four.
IMHO everyone has their individual comfort level with things and it's ok to be not be comfortable and feel icky about it if they aren't used to it. I mean some people can't even get a massage because they are uncomfortable with their own nudity.

For cultures that like to soak in the ofuro there is no weirdness about nudity between family and it's like a family activity of relaxation and bonding. My Stepmom who is Korean will still scrub down the backs of my half-brothers and both of them are in their twenties and plenty of people get squicked out thinking a mother still does this with her grown sons, but for us it's normal.

As for the kids who go to gym, well the ones that get icked out or are uncomfortable by it? Well I remember plenty of kids who got out of that with a doctor's note.
post #62 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
For those who send their kids to school (or plan to), are you going to be upset when your kids are made to get naked with all their classmates after gym, with a teacher watching? That started in 7th grade, for me. Far ickier than soaking in the ofuro with my grandma when I was four.
Depending on the circumstances, I'd be okay with a grandparent showering with my kids. There is no way in this universe my child will ever be required to get naked with their classmates after gym, and especially not with a teacher watching. I can't even wrap my brain around that.
post #63 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
See, I never remember showering or bathing with my parents, either . . . but my mom has done it with my kids because *I* do it with my kids. Just like she sleeps with them when they spend the night at her house . . . because they liked it and felt comfortable with it, not because it was something she did with me as a child.
Yeah, this. Although, my mom did bathe with me when I was young(under5) and she has never bathed my dd even though she has spent the night, it is more a matter of lazyness, though and would not bother me if she did. Although it would bother me if my step-dad bathed her, crossing the sex-line would make me skeeved unless it's her dad and even now I think what is the need of that, I can bathe her myself anytime. It's not about nakedness or abuse here so much as boundaries.
post #64 of 138
If my kids wanted to I would be fine with it, but I can't imagine any of the grandparents in our families wanting to. If anything I imagine my kids asking and the grandparents wanting their privacy (just like me )
post #65 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Depending on the circumstances, I'd be okay with a grandparent showering with my kids. There is no way in this universe my child will ever be required to get naked with their classmates after gym, and especially not with a teacher watching. I can't even wrap my brain around that.
we had to shower naked after swim class ini high school, the swim teacher or assistant (female) was in the adjacent room.

It was just what we did.

i wouldnt mind a healthy grandparent showering with my kids.... but since my parents and my dh's parents are incredibly unhealthy with really weird adn twisted ideas of normal- no... I would not be okay with MY in laws or MY parents showering with my kids.
post #66 of 138
I wouldn't have been comfortable with it, and I wouldn't shower with my grandchildren now. I have given them baths plenty of times, but never with me. Too icky for me. We were raised very modest, not prudish, but we are pretty private about our bodies. If the grandbabies catch me dressing, oh well, they are still young, but I certainly don't go out of my way to be naked around them. Just not comfortable.
post #67 of 138
I would be bothered by it because it wouldn't be something I could ever imagine my il's doing. They would probably be disturbed if they knew I showered with DD.

For me it would depend on who it was. If my best friend was watching DD and had a shower with her I would be fine with it. She is an earthy girl and it is something she would do to save water and make life easier.

For me it really depends on what kind of person it is and if it is something that makes sense.
post #68 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post

For those who send their kids to school (or plan to), are you going to be upset when your kids are made to get naked with all their classmates after gym, with a teacher watching?

Why would they be naked and why would the teacher be watching?

At my high school (and every high school I've known of) we had locker room for boys and locker rooms for girls. Everybody changed into their gym uniform in the locker room. If they didn't want to change in front of the other kids you could go into a bathroom stall and change. There were rows of lockers that provided semi-private areas to change. We only stripped down to our undies, no full frontal! There were showers but we weren't given enough time between classes to shower after gym. I don't remeber teachers ever being in the locker room.
post #69 of 138
My MIL showers with DD1 and it grosses me the hell out but I'm fine with it because DD loves taking showers with her and me and DH for that matter. I think as long as the kids are fine with it...I would be too. I do think there would be an age cut off for me around 5 or 6 though for my kiddos.
post #70 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by camracrazy View Post
Why would they be naked and why would the teacher be watching?

At my high school (and every high school I've known of) we had locker room for boys and locker rooms for girls. Everybody changed into their gym uniform in the locker room. If they didn't want to change in front of the other kids you could go into a bathroom stall and change. There were rows of lockers that provided semi-private areas to change. We only stripped down to our undies, no full frontal! There were showers but we weren't given enough time between classes to shower after gym. I don't remeber teachers ever being in the locker room.
This is how it was at my school. I never, ever showered at school. No teachers were in there, and we had dressing rooms, and bathroom stalls.

I think about the kid showering with grandparents, it really doesn't matter how any of us feel - only how the OP and her DP feel (and the children, of course). We all definitely do have different comfort levels, and unique situations that may influence our feelings.
post #71 of 138
It wouldn't bother me... and to each their own and all. But I really do feel this is just a product of American cultural baggage. As a college kid I would go with my host family and room mates to the public sento (baths) or onsen (hot springs) all the time. No big deal.

I don't really see my parents doing this with DD, but the inlaws might. They come from a culture with nude beaches and saunas.
post #72 of 138
I wouldn't be happy about it if I found out after the fact, and the degree of unhappiness would depend on who told me about it (kids or grandparents).
post #73 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by tallulahma View Post
we had to shower naked after swim class ini high school, the swim teacher or assistant (female) was in the adjacent room.

It was just what we did.
Ah - would never happen in my life. I didn't even change in the communal change room. If a teacher had tried to make me, I'd have probably dropped out. Getting five years of condescending crap was bad enough - having to strip naked in front of my classmates in order to pay for the privilege would have been grotesque. If they demanded that my kids do it, I'd raise the roof.
post #74 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by camracrazy View Post
Why would they be naked and why would the teacher be watching?

At my high school (and every high school I've known of) we had locker room for boys and locker rooms for girls. Everybody changed into their gym uniform in the locker room. If they didn't want to change in front of the other kids you could go into a bathroom stall and change. There were rows of lockers that provided semi-private areas to change. We only stripped down to our undies, no full frontal! There were showers but we weren't given enough time between classes to shower after gym. I don't remember teachers ever being in the locker room.
What, you expect them to shower in their clothes? What a bizarre comment. It should be pretty easy to extrapolate from the poster's comments that her experience is different from yours. Did you think those showers were there just to decorate the locker room? In the past students were required to shower at the end of PE. This is still true in many places.

I'm very grateful that by the time I was in high school we weren't required to shower.
post #75 of 138
I always thought the showers in school were for those in sports - like the football players. Still, they could always wait to shower at home, right?

I didn't even think of swimming. Though we had a big pool at my school, I did not sign up for that class. No, thank you!
post #76 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
What, you expect them to shower in their clothes? What a bizarre comment. It should be pretty easy to extrapolate from the poster's comments that her experience is different from yours. Did you think those showers were there just to decorate the locker room? In the past students were required to shower at the end of PE. This is still true in many places.

I'm very grateful that by the time I was in high school we weren't required to shower.
I think we actually were "required" (not sure, because I totally avoided the changerooms, as mentioned above), but I still didn't do it. There's no way in hell I'd let a teacher force me to get naked, yk? And, I still can't imagine any reason for a teacher to be standing there while I stripped.
post #77 of 138
I'm not on speaking terms with MIL, and she never gets to see DS, so it isn't going to come up for us. However, I don't generally have a problem with children showering with their grandparents. I find it much easier and more efficient to just hop in the shower with DS, why wouldn't it be the same for a grandparent.

When my own grandmother was in her 90s and could no longer care for herself, I gave her sponge baths. Though it wasn't the most fun I ever had, it hasn't scarred me for life or anything. It was just another part of the care she needed, just like lifting her from the car to her wheel chair. Frankly emptying the commode was worse than the sponge baths.
post #78 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
What, you expect them to shower in their clothes? What a bizarre comment. It should be pretty easy to extrapolate from the poster's comments that her experience is different from yours. Did you think those showers were there just to decorate the locker room? In the past students were required to shower at the end of PE. This is still true in many places.

I'm very grateful that by the time I was in high school we weren't required to shower.
If we didn't shower after PE and pool (which we had to take in order to graduate), we failed. End of story. The teachers were in the locker room to watch and make sure everyone did.
post #79 of 138
i don't think naked bodies are dirty or gross, in fact, we are a pretty naked family ourselves. i just don't find it appropriate for my kids to be SHOWERING with anyone but our immediate family. i shower/bathe with both my kids every single day.
post #80 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal_R View Post
If we didn't shower after PE and pool (which we had to take in order to graduate), we failed. End of story. The teachers were in the locker room to watch and make sure everyone did.
Same here.

To be honest, I would not want to be the teachers who had to deal with non-showering kids in subsequent classes. If gym is your first-period class and you don't shower, you're going to stink all day.

I was not aware that some schools don't require showering after gym.

And no, there were no private areas in which to change and shower. There were one or two stalls with curtains, which were intended for menstruating girls to use. The rest of the shower heads were on a pole, I think four nozzles on each pole.
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