How would you have answered this 6-7 yo?

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I was at the park with my 11 mo DD. There was another mom there with her two daughters. I would guess the younger to be 6-7 and the older to be about 9. Here was the conversation.

Mom: (Pointing to my DD) That's about how old your sister was when we started trying to have you!
DD: What do you mean?
Mom: When you sister was about 11 months old we decided we wanted you so that you guys would be close in age.
DD: No, what do you mean 'trying'?
Mom: Ummmm.
DD: How do you try to have a baby?
Mom: Well, we asked God to give us another baby.
DD: That's not all of it though. You can tell me. I won't tell anyone!
Mom: Well, you'll learn some in school and then I'll help you understand it better later.

I didn't like the mom's response at all, but at the same time when I tried to picture myself in the same situation, I'm not sure what I would have said. Obviously it would have helped to know how much the girl already knew about a woman's cycles or the mechanics of making babies, but I'm so bad at these kinds of questions!

I know the idea of just answering the question and not feeling the need to get into lots of detail, but in this situation, how would you do it?

[limabean]

She may have just felt uncomfortable because she knew you could hear her. I know I wouldn't want another mom analyzing the way I talk about sex with my kids, so I'd probably stammer something lame and then have a more in-depth talk in private.

ETA: To answer your question, if no one else were listening and my kid asked me what "trying to have a baby" meant, I'd probably say something like, "There are ways to know when a mama's body is ready to get pregnant, so we paid attention to those signs." If the kid asked more questions, I'd answer each one as it came, mentioning eggs, sperm, and intercourse as needed.

[beanma]

My kids, who are about the age of the ones you describe, probably wouldn't ask that question 'cause they already know all the details. We have the wonderful book, "It's So Amazing" and have read it many times. We've also checked out "It's Not The Stork" from the library. I first read them to my dd1 when she was about 4 or 5. Dd2 would have been about 2 then and she listened, too. I am firmly in the camp of it's easier for me to start having that conversation when they're little than wait until they're angsy pre-teens when it would be much more embarrassing for all of us.

If my kid did ask, "what do you mean trying?" even though they know all the mechanics. I would probably have said, "Well we really wanted to have another baby, but like lots of things sometimes it doesn't work on the first try so you have to try more than once. Sometimes it can take a long time before it works and the mom gets pregnant and sometimes it does work on the first try. We had to try for awhile before we got you. We can talk about it more when we get home if you want to. Now go play."

I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing penises and vaginas too much at a park where other folks were in earshot.

[Alyantavid]

Why in the world did she bring it up if she wasn't prepared to answer questions?

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

Why in the world did she bring it up if she wasn't prepared to answer questions?

It sounds like she was struck with a nice memory, and spontaneously shared it with her dd.

I agree that the mom was probably feeling uncomfortable having the conversation in front of others. In private, I've been very frank with my dc when she pressed for these kinds of explanations (sperm + egg first, menstruation was explained along the way due to bathroom companionship, lol, and then the intercourse piece came in when she pressed for how the sperm and egg meet). In public, I'd likely have blurted out something similar to what the op overheard .

[pbjmama]

By the time my dd is 9 alot of that will already be known so I won't have to do alot of background on fertility. I think I could say something like we started trying to get pregnant and hopefully dd would have the background on how that works. It could open up to lots of good convo but I might direct that it is a conversation to have at home later.

[zeldamomma]

In public, I would (hopefully) have told my dd we would talk about it when we got home-- I wouldn't want to be overheard by other people's younger kids.

At home, I'd start with asking her how she thinks it all works, and go from there.

[NiteNicole]

In public, I would (hopefully) have told my dd we would talk about it when we got home-- I wouldn't want to be overheard by other people's younger kids.

Agreed. That's just a conversation for 'at home' for so very many reasons.

[Jessy1019]

*I* would have said, "That's when I stopped taking my birth control pill," since my kids already know I'm on the pill and how babies are made, and a silly question would get a silly answer.

If they were asking it as a genuine question, I'd have answered honestly, regardless of who was around.