When to talk to your daughter about AF?? - Page 2

[ZoraP]

Here's another book my dd really likes:

http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-Y.../dp/1562476661

It addresses all sorts of things, like hair growth, pimples, hygiene, etc., in a light way. We're very open with my dds and they are already well-informed, but this book has my older dd asking me questions she hadn't thought of before, so it's helping her feel prepared and in control.

We've also played around with pads, looked at how absorbant they are, talked about my diva cup, etc. Both of my girls have had times when they would put a Kleenex or something in their underwear to "be like Mommy," which I figure was a good thing for them to do in order to get used to the whole idea.

[karne]

I talked w/my dd early on, so I think she "sort of" got what I was talking about. But an eye opener here--I really needed to go over all of it again recently. I had assumed too much, and, now that dd is experiencing the changes in her body/mood forst hand, the conversation is meaningful in a more concrete way. Best advice-keep talking about everything, often. And, ask what they're hearing from their friends. I was a little surprised.

[gillibean]

I explained it to DD when she found the tampons and pads in the bathroom cupboard and insisted on knowing what they were. I think she was around 4-5.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by Mommaof 4

Thank you all so much for all the great ideas, I will be stopping and getting a book for her this weekend, and perhaps one for my son about his body too, he is 6. It not that we have avoided the conversation, I have only had AF 5 times in the last 9 years myself so its not like she would notice anything. We have talked about where babies come from to an extent but she has never asked exactly how they get in there. She is the oldest of four so she has experience with mommy being pregnant, Idk it just never really came up and now im like crap she is 8 we need to talk about this, and I really agree it has to be an ongoing thing, we have a very open relationship she knows she can ask anything and I want to keep it that way. I didnt have the with my own mother.

Thanks again ladies great advice.

Lindsay

I'm in the same position, my dd just turned 9 though and we've never had "the talk". I figured she would start asking questions when I got prego with the 3 yr old but nope. She's starting to develop so I know we need to have the talk soon, I am not looking forward to it for a variety of reasons.

[ZoraP]

Originally Posted by Satori

I'm in the same position, my dd just turned 9 though and we've never had "the talk". I figured she would start asking questions when I got prego with the 3 yr old but nope. She's starting to develop so I know we need to have the talk soon, I am not looking forward to it for a variety of reasons.

It really gets a lot easier once the ice is broken. Using one of the books mentioned in this thread will probably help you with your own sense of shyness. Just think of how you would feel if she started her period before hearing from you about it, if you need a bit of encouragement to actually take the plunge.

She's definitely old enough -- some of her friends will start soon if they haven't already. I expect my DD1 (who turns 10 next month) to start sometime this year, based on her physical development. I wish it weren't so early, but there's not much I can do about that.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by ZoraP

It really gets a lot easier once the ice is broken. Using one of the books mentioned in this thread will probably help you with your own sense of shyness. Just think of how you would feel if she started her period before hearing from you about it, if you need a bit of encouragement to actually take the plunge.

She's definitely old enough -- some of her friends will start soon if they haven't already. I expect my DD1 (who turns 10 next month) to start sometime this year, based on her physical development. I wish it weren't so early, but there's not much I can do about that.

Its not the physical stuff, well it is but the bigger factor is its going to lead to questions such as "who is my father?" and "why can't I meet him?" once she learns it takes 2 to make a baby. She has never asked about her father, ever. Seriously, she hasn't and every councilor I've ever talked to has told me to wait until she brings it up and I have waited. From the time she was born I have told her our family has 3 people, a mama, a baby and a grandma (we lived with my mom until she was 3) and when asked about her dad she just replied "I don't have one" with no sadness or anything, just matter of fact. I haven't wanted to approach it really because I worry she will be really hurt. Its one thing if he were dead but I mean how do you spin "he wanted nothing to do with you and agreed to terminate his parental rights to get rid of you as fast as possible" more then "he couldn't be a part of your life"? Either way she's going to be hurt when she finds out she does have one and no she can't meet him nor will I help her find him until she is an adult and emotionally capable of meeting him.

[indie]

Originally Posted by Satori

I'm in the same position, my dd just turned 9 though and we've never had "the talk". I figured she would start asking questions when I got prego with the 3 yr old but nope. She's starting to develop so I know we need to have the talk soon, I am not looking forward to it for a variety of reasons.

I can see how it would be difficult from reading your next post, but my mom was nine when she started. I would hate for your daughter to start and be terrified because there's blood coming out and she doesn't know why.

[inkedmamajama]

Originally Posted by KweenKrunch

I'm kind of surprised she doesn't already know about menstruation - we've been talking about it in our house since our girls were babies. They see me practicing Traditional Menstrual Care and they know all about my time of the month. I think it's important for daughters to see their mothers embracing their Moon Time in a positive and respectful way, so that, like anything else we'd want to model, they learn to appreciate their womanhood and take it on with appreciation of their fertility.

There is SO much negativity surrounding Moon Times in mainstream media -(and now BIG PHARMA is even marketing a medication to eliminate it!) I think it's really important that mothers portray it lovingly and positively and as the gift of life that it is.

yeah, as a mother of 3 girls, we have always been open about our bodies and menstruation. as a result they seem to be very confident and while they may not look forward to getting their periods, they certainly arent scared or nervous about it.

[Leenie]

I've been thinking about this as well...I remember being terrified and not believing such a thing could happen when I heard it from my friends

[Marcee]

My daughter is only 5 but I have been thinking about this too as of late. I worry about telling her too soon but then I fear being to late. I knew AF existed but really knew nothing about it until 5th grade. Luckily I did not start until I was in 6th grade.