Traditional Catholic Mamas - Fall 2009 - Page 3

[CherryBomb]

cagnew, I empathize. I haven't had a sex drive in much longer than a year! But, I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding continuously for the last 5 years, I'm sure that has something to do with it. I get together with dh even though I'm never in the mood (obviously, I'm pregnant!) I don't know that I can speak to what *every* Catholic wife should do, but for me, as long as I just feel ambivalent about it, I do it. If I'm actually feeling like "I do NOT want to have sex" then I just tell him and we don't.

And welcome, lookingforabluesky!

[lookingforabluesky]

Thank you!

I can totally relate to the sex-drive worries! Nursing, exhaustion from taking care of house and home, and guilt about not a lot of "us" time ... I think what charbeau and cherrybomb said make sense, especially the jogging example and this:

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

I don't know that I can speak to what *every* Catholic wife should do, but for me, as long as I just feel ambivalent about it, I do it. If I'm actually feeling like "I do NOT want to have sex" then I just tell him and we don't.

I think it's complicated, and there's a balance between just pleasing your man/sacrificing yourself, and never having sex again because you don't feel like it. I don't know if I would call it a "wife's duty," but I think that husbands and wives are supposed to be one, right? so I think there's some relations involved there. BUT, I think if it's a "wife's duty" to participate in the act, then I definitely think it's a husband's duty to put her in the mood for that act! In other words, it really helps me when DH 'courts' me (flirts, lots of backrubs, etc.) I consider that part of the whole thing. Does that make sense?

I never thought I would think this, but most of the time I think I'd be ok without sex for a long long time! I'd rather sleep! lol. But before we were married ... oh man, I thought I was gonna die from wanting to be with him! (We waited ) Now we have schedule "date" time in. I feel so old!

Anyways, what does your husband say? You said he's supportive ... It helps me to talk about things with DH, and I'm learning that he can't read my mind. lol. If a backrub would put me more in the mood, I have to tell him that. That kind of thing.

[Ofwait]

I think the "courting" is very important in marriage, when we haven't done it I didn't feel like being intimate, and when DH insisted then I was resentful, so he was resentful.... and it just generally turned into a huge mess... to the point I was ready to leave. Took work to get through that, but we now make sure to take time with eachother, we try to make sure we get a date once a month... no kids! That reconnect time is vital, we also swap babysitting with a couple other families, so its cheap too.

[DiannaK]

I'm joining in .... much love to all of you. I'm heading to bed, but will try to 'catch up' tomorrow

[cagnew]

I have been meaning to get on an post, but I've been so busy! My dad loaned a book about the third secret of fatima, and it's kind of in demand around here so I am trying to read it quickly so another person can have it. Plus, I had just started the book of Mother Teresa's writing, and I want to keep going with that too. AND I just started writing a story (that's been put on hold, lol). Then I got into a discussion with a protestant friend of a friend and he wanted to know about Mary, so I had to write a "quick" explanation up of that. Sheesh.

There just isn't enough time!

A priest came to our parish this week that was from a Catholic charity organization (I can't remember the name... CFCA, maybe?) and have decided to get rid of our Dish Network and use the money to sponsor a 79 year old woman in the Philippines. I have always wanted to do this, but I never trusted the organizations. This one seems a little different and provides very detailed info on where the money goes. We were seriously considering getting rid of the tv anyway, so this kind of helped us take the plunge. I expect the first few weeks without Dora the Explorer or Fox News (no stones, please) or football are going to be hard. I hope it gets easy after that! We are going to move the tv into our bedroom and use it for weather alerts (we get bad weather around here), LOST (if we can get the channel)(guilty pleasure), and watching dvd's.

Well... I am still in my pjs and it's almost 1pm (went to Mass yesterday) so I better go. It's been a busy morning!

PS- I learned today that giving blueberries to a baby that still spit's up a lot is not a good idea... especially if you put him down on a rug....

[fofo]

Hi Ladies,

I used to be on MDC quite regularly, but got away from it for a few years.

I'm a small 't' traditional catholic, I guess you'd say. Although the parish that I go to is pastored by a charismatic order of priests. What dh and I love about the parish though is that there are lots of big families, the homilies are challenging and make you think, and they do a great job of things like Corpus Christi. We usually take our kids to (7 and 4) to the vigil Masses at Easter and Christmas. This year at Easter, my son (4) was being really difficult and whining about people not letting him sleep, blah, blah, blah. And then when Mass got started he got really quiet when he saw the fire outside the vestibule on the front steps. And THEN when his candle was lit, he leaned over to me and said in a loud whisper 'This is the best day EVER! I get to stay up past bedtime AND I get FIRE!!!' I thought that the family behind us was going to lose it giggling.

Anyhow, I don't know why I just shared that.

I've been married for 8 years, and we have a 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy, and are expecting our third to be induced a few weeks early sometime between now and the 28th.

Right now, we're trying to decide when to have the baptism. Usually I don't like waiting too long, but the godparents we've chosen will be out of the country until late December. I suppose we could use surrogates at the baptism, but we've chosen my brother and his soon-to-be wife. I would really like her to be there, because I think it will be a nice gesture to help integrate her into our family especially since she is moving here (to Canada) from Italy.

The other thing I'd love hear about from anyone with experience is Creighton while breastfeeding. We've used CCL while breastfeeding the other two, but we switched to CrMS about 2 years ago. It works so much better for us that we don't want to go back to CCL, but of course, a new system in a new situation is a little nervous making.

[CherryBomb]

Corrie, that's great about the sponsoring! I'd love to do that, we've been so tight on money I haven't even been donating like I usually do (I'm 2 payments behind on my mortgage, ugggggh). I usually donate to Cross International (Catholic) and Priests for Life and Pro-life Action League.

I started using CrMS while breastfeeding dd3 (she's 18 months now, still breastfeeding!) I love it, but I haven't used it yet newly PP and breastfeeding, so.

[cagnew]

Fofo: Hello and welcome! I just wanted to chime in on the baptism question.

With my first daughter we waited 3 months because of family and a priest.

My godson died at 8 weeks old from SIDS. Happily, his parents are sticklers for baptizing asap. This taught me a lesson. When my son was born, we baptized him within a week I think. I didn't want to mess around.

That being said, it's important to look at the Churchs teaching regarding baptism. The basic teaching is that one must be baptized to enter heaven. Until we are baptized, we technically belong to Satan (thanks to original sin), since we have not yet been claimed for Christ through baptism. That is why, if you notice, the Church does not celebrate the birthdays of Her members (except Mary, Jesus and John the Baptist... who were all born w/o original sin)(John was believed to be purified by Christ when Mary and Elizabeth met and the child lept in the womb... I just learned this and thought it was cool).

That is a hard teaching and not very popular. There are such things as baptism of desire and baptism of blood. Basically, if the person in question was on their way to being baptised but died before the event happened, they would qualify for bapitsm of desire. I think this also includes people who were never exposed to the faith, but lived good lives.

The church does not say that babies who die prior to baptism go to hell, but she also does not say that they go to heaven either. I think the statement is something along the lines of "we leave them to God's mercy." Some people believe these babies go to limbo.

I do not think it is a good idea to put off baptising your child for any reason. I would never take the chance. Not only could there be sad reprecussions for my baby, I would think there would be serious repercussions for myself as the parent.

The parents of my godson take much consolation from knowing that he was baptized. They have the reassurance of Holy Mother Church that he is in heaven. If something happened to one of my children, I would want (and need) that reassurance.

When we baptized my dd her godparents were not present, so we had a couple stand in by proxy. It lacked the sentimentalism, but it doesn't change that the dd is their god-daughter.

ps- sorry for the typos and spelling errors

[cagnew]

BTW- I use the Creighton Method when I need to. We used it to get pg wuth each of our children, but have never used it to avoid (we've only been married 3 1/2 yrs). I am currently bf'ing have seen no sign of my cycle returning. I'm not conerned though, b/c another baby wouldn't be so bad

[RomanCarmelMom]

I'm glad to have found this thread! I have been married for 4 years and have an almost 3 year old son. We're dealing with secondary infertility, so he's our only child. We're just sitting back and are waiting to see what direction God leads us. We are "orthodox" Catholics. We're fortunate enough to be members of a wonderful parish community that has many ministries and classes that encourage everyone to really learn and live by Church teachings, and we are constantly challenged to grow deeper in our faith. I grew up as a hideously catechized "cafeteria" Catholic, so finding this parish is an answer to my prayers! It also has a parish school, plus there is a great community of homeschoolers there as well.

I'm finding that living life as an "orthodox" Catholic is so much harder than before, but it is so worth it!

[mami_guera]

Hi everyone, I have been reading your posts and would love to join...if I can I am currenting going through the RCIA and and totally fasinated with all of this. I always considered myself Catholic but really had no idea of all the beautiful customs and traditions....and my life has already taked a huge turn. So I am glad to find u guys on here....

[cagnew]

RCM and Mami: elcome

RCm: It must be really hard to deal with secondary infertility. I haven't had problems getting pregnant, but I have had problems staying pregnant My record is currently 50/50. It makes every pregnancy kind of scary. I'll add you to my prayers!

mami: Lately I have been doing a little debating with a protestant friend, and talking with him makes me realize how wonderful and beautiful our faith really is! So many people look down on our traditions or think they are silly, but I am happy to have them. I can't imagine living without the fullness of the truth found in our church. The proof to back our beliefs, and the love found in the teachings and "rules" is awesome. We have such a rich history of early church fathers and saints.... It just makes me thankful. God does a great job of providing us with every possible helping hand we could ever need.

[RomanCarmelMom]

Thanks Cagnew!

I also have a lot of trouble staying pregnant. It makes pregnancy such an emotional roller coaster. Our son was a preemie because of the conditions I have that make it difficult to become and stay pregnant. He is our little miracle baby! We're starting to discuss adoption, but we're still a couple of years from being able to, if that's where God leads us. The experiences of growing our family have definitely taught us that God is in control, not us!

[CherryBomb]

Welcome, everyone!

[mami_guera]

Thanks guy! Well I feel for those who have lost children...I get pregnant super easy....too easy....I also have lost 3 babies but when I was really young. It is weird cuz it didn't seem to hit me then, but now it is harder to think about it....I kinda wierd I guess. LOL so where are all of u from....I doubt any of u are near. I am from Northern California. I had a question...did any of u pick st names when u went through conformation? It seems that not many people do it anymore. I think it is kind of cool to identify with one of the saints you feel close to your heart. My oldest 2 dd are doing their first communion in May and we were studing up on our saints and I came across the comment that most people don't do it anymore. I know my step mom is from Indonesia and the name she goes by, is the name given to her on her baptisim.....do people do that here?

[cagnew]

My confirmation name was Joan (of Arc). I don't have a devotion to her though... I picked her in 8th grade b/c I though a woman soldier was cool. I hardly knew anything about her (my catholic school education was a joke).

I probably should give it more thought and read more about her....

[mami_guera]

Originally Posted by cagnew

My confirmation name was Joan (of Arc). I don't have a devotion to her though... I picked her in 8th grade b/c I though a woman soldier was cool. I hardly knew anything about her (my catholic school education was a joke).

I probably should give it more thought and read more about her....

So people do pick names here......ok everyone at my work is Catholic (Mexican) and none of them have heard of this tradition.....maybe just in Catholic school? Anyways thanks for the input.

[CherryBomb]

I was baptized and had confirmation on the same night, I chose St. Brigid of Ireland, though I kind of intended it to be a duel thing with her and St. Bridgit of Sweden (I couldn't decide between the two!!)

I can't imagine living without the fullness of the truth found in our church. The proof to back our beliefs, and the love found in the teachings and "rules" is awesome. We have such a rich history of early church fathers and saints.... It just makes me thankful. God does a great job of providing us with every possible helping hand we could ever need.

ITA!!

[Ashes]

Hi hi. Another small t Catholic here. Struggling a bit with my faith, but in some ways it is mostly because I am lazy and feeling icky with first trimested while struggling a toddler. Hah nice excuse eh? I hang out on CAF too if anyone else does.

[BMG580]

Question: Do you think it is overkill to put in a birth plan for a hospital delivery that if there are any serious complications with either me or baby that I would like a priest to come? I know the risks are very minimal and yet we had a serious tragedy in my family a couple years ago with my sister's child so I know bad things can happen quickly without any warning. Anyway, has anyone here done this and if so how did you include it?