Sorry if this should be two separate posts, but I'm looking for advice on making boundaries. I'll try to make it short and sweet.
We recently moved to be near our (mine and DH's) parents. We moved into a cul-de-sac with LOTS of neighbor kids.
With the neighbor kids, they seem to be largely unsupervised when outside (which is only a few hours toward the end of the day). I am always outside with DS because he does not remember rules well...and well, I think 2.5 is way too young to be outside alone. The next door neighbor kids are 4.5 and almost 3. Andrew loves them. I have never had neighbors with kids before, so I don't really know what the "rules" are. They will go into my house unattended, bring out our toys and destroy them, help themselves to our food, etc. I don't have a problem sharing, but I don't know them very well and would hate to give them something they are allergic to or something mom doesn't want them to have. I have had to lock our door and watch closely with our toys. Again, I don't mind sharing and they are sweet kids, just trying to figure out some ground rules here. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Also, the 4.5 yo always wants to "discipline" my son (i.e., tell him he's not supposed to do things and then tries to enforce), which I'm not really sure how to handle.
We're also discovering that my MIL has some boundary issues that we weren't aware of. She lets Andrew touch anything and everything in her house, including fragile things and things that are heavy and could fall on him. She says that "he will do what I say because Nana gives him special treats". I don't really know what these special treats are, although I know they don't involve candy, but I don't really want him thinking that he listens because he gets "treats", yk? She also keeps saying she has "special rules" in her house, but again, has not really said what those are. I suppose I should add that she is bi-polar and has recently come down from a manic episode. She can agitate very easily, so we are not leaving her alone with the kids at all, and we are also walking on eggshells with her.
TIA.
We recently moved to be near our (mine and DH's) parents. We moved into a cul-de-sac with LOTS of neighbor kids.
With the neighbor kids, they seem to be largely unsupervised when outside (which is only a few hours toward the end of the day). I am always outside with DS because he does not remember rules well...and well, I think 2.5 is way too young to be outside alone. The next door neighbor kids are 4.5 and almost 3. Andrew loves them. I have never had neighbors with kids before, so I don't really know what the "rules" are. They will go into my house unattended, bring out our toys and destroy them, help themselves to our food, etc. I don't have a problem sharing, but I don't know them very well and would hate to give them something they are allergic to or something mom doesn't want them to have. I have had to lock our door and watch closely with our toys. Again, I don't mind sharing and they are sweet kids, just trying to figure out some ground rules here. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Also, the 4.5 yo always wants to "discipline" my son (i.e., tell him he's not supposed to do things and then tries to enforce), which I'm not really sure how to handle.
We're also discovering that my MIL has some boundary issues that we weren't aware of. She lets Andrew touch anything and everything in her house, including fragile things and things that are heavy and could fall on him. She says that "he will do what I say because Nana gives him special treats". I don't really know what these special treats are, although I know they don't involve candy, but I don't really want him thinking that he listens because he gets "treats", yk? She also keeps saying she has "special rules" in her house, but again, has not really said what those are. I suppose I should add that she is bi-polar and has recently come down from a manic episode. She can agitate very easily, so we are not leaving her alone with the kids at all, and we are also walking on eggshells with her.
TIA.
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: If I let my 3.5 year old out anywhere but our backyard without me child protection would take him away I'm sure.
