Thank You!!

[organicpapayamama]

hi everyone! I just wanted to thank you for all your advice on AI even though Im not part of the queer community. I finally got my bfp after 7 months of AI. I wish you all the best of luck!::

[Lyndzies]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

hi everyone! I just wanted to thank you for all your advice on AI even though Im not part of the queer community. I finally got my bfp after 7 months of AI. I wish you all the best of luck!::

YAYAYAY!!! I saw this over in the TTC forum. Big time congrats!

::::

Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.

[HappyHappyMommy]

Congratulations!! :

[wehrli]

Congrats!!!!

[ErikaLeigh]

CONGRATS!!! :

[pleasantlyfurious]

Congrats!! ::

PS - I think we are in the same DDC. See you over there!

[organicpapayamama]

I know Im not part of the queer community but I am also part of a minority of being a single mother by choice this time around. I am experiencing something that I thought maybe some of you have encountered. I find that my family and friends are not genuinely happy for me. No one has told me congratulations. instead it is followed with "oh...your pregnant." Im so sorry some of you have gone through this.... I feel like no one is really supporting my decisions. I fear that no one will even want to throw me a baby shower when its time because of how this baby was conceived. How do you get past this?

[basje]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

I know Im not part of the queer community but I am also part of a minority of being a single mother by choice this time around. I am experiencing something that I thought maybe some of you have encountered. I find that my family and friends are not genuinely happy for me. No one has told me congratulations. instead it is followed with "oh...your pregnant." Im so sorry some of you have gone through this.... I feel like no one is really supporting my decisions. I fear that no one will even want to throw me a baby shower when its time because of how this baby was conceived. How do you get past this?

This is a tricky one, you can't force anybodies reaction about having a baby as a single lady. They are going to re-act how they are going to re-act. Sometimes that being flat out rejected, and it hurts. If you find that your getting stuck on how other people are reacting, I would suggest finding a group or some counseling to help you cope better.

Being a queer parent isn't a monolithic experience. For many lesbians couples having children often improves extended family relations. Parents of lesbians who haven't been on good terms for years re-surface to play a part in their grandchild's life. Some couples discover that the non-bio mom's family rejects the child completely. Single lesbians who are out, who already face negative reactions from family, often a pregnancy isn't a significant change. It really depends on the situation, culture and the people involved. There are of course also plenty of single lesbians who don't get a congratulations by the greater lesbian community when they get pregnant either, and feel rejected by the community they've grown to know as home.

Being a single mother by choice is a difficult choice for many people to understand. Much of that, I think is because of the "horrible burden" single motherhood has been described by women who have been left or divorced their husbands. The idea that someone would choose or want to have a baby without a "someone else" seems like a death sentence.

Maybe you don't get a baby shower. Maybe nobody asks with any interest about your pregnancy. Maybe they don't hang up your birth announcement on the fridge because there's just one name under "parents" and they feel ashamed for you. It's possible, and it's something to learn to accept. Likely, though, they'll come around... people tend to like babies. And, if they don't, then you'll find community with other people who are interested, supportive and accepting. I suggest you start with the Single Parenthood board.

[Jeremiah2911]

Originally Posted by basje

This is a tricky one, you can't force anybodies reaction about having a baby as a single lady. They are going to re-act how they are going to re-act. Sometimes that being flat out rejected, and it hurts. If you find that your getting stuck on how other people are reacting, I would suggest finding a group or some counseling to help you cope better.

Being a queer parent isn't a monolithic experience. For many lesbians couples having children often improves extended family relations. Parents of lesbians who haven't been on good terms for years re-surface to play a part in their grandchild's life. Some couples discover that the non-bio mom's family rejects the child completely. Single lesbians who are out, who already face negative reactions from family, often a pregnancy isn't a significant change. It really depends on the situation, culture and the people involved. There are of course also plenty of single lesbians who don't get a congratulations by the greater lesbian community when they get pregnant either, and feel rejected by the community they've grown to know as home.

Being a single mother by choice is a difficult choice for many people to understand. Much of that, I think is because of the "horrible burden" single motherhood has been described by women who have been left or divorced their husbands. The idea that someone would choose or want to have a baby without a "someone else" seems like a death sentence.

Maybe you don't get a baby shower. Maybe nobody asks with any interest about your pregnancy. Maybe they don't hang up your birth announcement on the fridge because there's just one name under "parents" and they feel ashamed for you. It's possible, and it's something to learn to accept. Likely, though, they'll come around... people tend to like babies. And, if they don't, then you'll find community with other people who are interested, supportive and accepting. I suggest you start with the Single Parenthood board.

@OPM: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

@Basje: AWESOME response!

[organicpapayamama]

thank you for the replies. Ya i realize people will have their own beliefs and not everyone will be happy right away. I cant force my joy or my views on anyone... just gets me down. But I know I have what really matters to me, this little one inside. Thanks.