in dire need to some supportive words of fertility wisdom!

[lapis]

I'm at a total loss here. its been nine months of serious effort. and a year and a half of unprotected sort of trying. I'm 27! NOT GETTING PREGNANT IS THE WORST JOKE EVER! my dh will get his sperm checked this december when we are back in canada so we can see if that is the issue here but in the meantime arrgh!!

so here is a list of all my attempts to make my body baby friendly:
omega 3's
a whole foods prenatal (2/3 dose)
hormone cream (made just for me from my ND)
probiotics
"pregnancy prep" (a mix of red raspberry and other fertility promoting herbs)
I walk FAR many times a week
I eat well (gluten/dairy free... and only occasional, like once a month, soy)
I sleep 7-9 hours a night
I drink enough water
I'm not a big caffeine person (maybe some green tea/mate a few times a week)
I have regular cycles
I temp/chart and seem to be ovulating regularly
I don't drink (maybe a tiny glass of white wine or a gluten free beer like once a month max)

I mean seriously what more can I do? ok ok, the relaxation thing is hard for me. I tend to run a little anxious. but I belong to a great group that does peer counseling, so I have a lot of emotional outlets to work on my "issues" and my hormone cream also has a little bit of added support for my adrenals.

Any suggestions or words of wisdom or great articles on fertility you feel like sharing would be incredibly helpful. Success stories are helpful too : )

[JenBuckyfan]

Sorry it's taking so long! Not getting pregnant when you feel you should be is a very difficult issue to work through. We went to an RE after 6 months of intentional temping and trying. DH had a sperm analysis through his reg doc and the RE had us do another one with his 'pickier' lab and had a acromosome reaction test. He checked out to essentially be ok. After all of that, the RE told us to just keep trying and after the year mark check back in. We did that - at 18-19 months we went back to find out what the process would be moving forward. I have a very regular cycle and so we decided when we said 'go' we'd do a clomid challenge with the female tests and add an IUI on top of that. We were planning to do that in June. We surprisingly got pregnant in May, 22 months after starting ttc and always having perfect timing, temping, etc. It coincidentally happened the same month I sprained my ankle while training for a 1/2 marathon and turned in my two-week notice at my job. Our RE told us that 95% of people are able to get pregnant within 12 months of trying. I guess we were a part of that 5%, not a great place to be, but we are definitely relieved and excited that it happened and we didn't have to go further into the process as we were plannin. I also went to an ND at one point to try to see if I had a food allergy that could be causing issues and I didn', but she said that she has seen that some people have trouble getting pregnant the first time and that there is a 'pregnancy bar' of sorts that some people have to reach and once you reach it, getting pregnant is no longer a problem. Some people have higher bars than others. Who knows, I don't totally buy it...

TTC can be a heartbreaking road and is the worst lesson in patience I have ever had to deal with. I felt like I was living my life in 2 week intervals and it started to consume me. I tried to be more apathetic about it but would still get very emotional once my period would show up and would cry every month. My DH was also stressed because he couldn't make me feel better. I always suggest trying to find something else to devote a lot of attention to. I was able to plan a getaway vacation and do a lot of research that allowed me to get excited about something else. I also entered a certificate program in something I was interested in learning more about. If there is something you want to learn, go for it. Make a list of things you'd like to do before a baby arrives, start to check things off the list (hard to do when you'd rather have a baby than do anything on the list!!). I would celebrate my period showing up with a great glass or two of wine and would take a hot bubble bath.

You are on a journey that can be tough, though you can survive it. It's great that you have a good support network, I didn't and eventually found a therapist to help me work through my feelings. Your list looks good, make sure you're getting enough folic acid (at least 400mcg, I would shoot for 800mcg). Getting DH tested is an easy process and can be great in that it may discover or rule out something. (Be prepared if he checks out ok, that means something else isn't right and you won't help but be mad at your body for not doing something.) Treat yourself to a massage or pedicure/manicure, yoga class, whatever might help you relax. Remember to take care of you and not just focus on what would be best for a baby. Although difficult, try to feel as fulfilled as you can and don't put things on hold because of waiting for a baby!

[Carita]

were you on hormonal BC before this? Maybe it still needs time to clear out. Those that I know that have been on BC that involved progestin have had fertility issues following. My BFF is working on a year now TTC, and it took me 3 years, (after chinese hebs, acupunture, & some serious de-stressing), and we were both in our mid-late 20s.

I am dairy free too, but have soy more often than 1/mo - for a while I was addicted to Starbucks lattes. Anyway, this time I had a great story to tell - that it only took me 3 cyces TTC to get BFP! I was talking to a friend and she said the anti-estrogenic compunds in soy can actually promote ovulation and fertility. So I don't know if it was my little Starbucks addiction or if it was not going back on the hormonal BC after I had my son. Either way, I am lucky to be blessed with #2 relatively quickly.

((hugs))

[Noelle C.]

You are at over two years of unprotected sex. I'm sorry to say that it's time to see a reproductive endocrinologist. I know your position all too well. I was rendered infertile at the age of 19, a year and a half after miscarrying a baby that was conceived while I was on the pill AND using condoms, a diaphragm, AND spermicide. Chances should have been something like 1 in a million. That was the time I conceived. After that...it took multiple IVF rounds and finally a frozen embryo transfer to get a pregnancy to go past the first trimester. I am 28. It's not fair that people who don't care for tem have them. It's frustrating as hell.

You are understandably frustrated, but you aren't alone. Both of you need to see an RE if you can. It may be a simple problem or it might not be. Sometimes "just relaxing" is the hardest thing to do. But feeling proactive can help. Can you make an appointment to see an RE yourself?

[laura-belle]

I don't have any words of wisdom really, but I just had to post and say "I am so there." I'm 28 and we've been trying to make a baby for over two years now--1 of those with a RE. I try not to worry about it too much, but...

[AmyKT]

Don't beat yourself up. Sometimes there's nothing you can do on your own to make it happen. With us, it turned out to be DH. The first time, anyway. Now I'm older and we both seem to be a little off.

I hope the SA will give you some answers.