Can someone explain the "no praise" idea to me? - Page 3

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I've found with many kids one of the best ways to deliver the message that you're in their corner is to talk about something you're glad about to someone else in their hearing. Like at a family dinner if the opportunity comes up naturally to say something like "... and I was so blown away at how well ChildA handled the situation," take it!

Mine is a particular stinker because he HATES this. It must be genetic, because I did too - I used to HATE when my parents would "brag" about me (even if it was just a minimal positive observation) to other people...so we can't do this with my son, even when it's positive, or he shouts, "STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and/or runs away.

Sigh. He's a bit of a challenge on some levels. lol. Absolutely delightful on many, many levels, but very exasperating in this particular arena.


But it is a good technique for many kids, for sure.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by The4OfUs

Mine is a particular stinker because he HATES this. It must be genetic, because I did too - I used to HATE when my parents would "brag" about me (even if it was just a minimal positive observation) to other people...so we can't do this with my son, even when it's positive, or he shouts, "STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and/or runs away.

Sigh. He's a bit of a challenge on some levels. lol. Absolutely delightful on many, many levels, but very exasperating in this particular arena.


But it is a good technique for many kids, for sure.

It's so interesting that you felt that way too! I think I can see that point of view - it never occured to me before though, at least if it wasn't actual braggy stuff. Thanks for sharing; I'll have to keep that in mind!

[Epona]

Originally Posted by seriosa

What do you do to limit praise? Do you differentiate between praise and encouragement?

Absolutely!

And I praise. All the time. Nobody but me knows what is best for my family, and my own children, better than me. I parent from my gut. My gut praises. And my children are thriving, my family is content, all is well. I can't imagine a world where I didn't tell my kids that they had done a good job, when the have done a good job! I say all the other stuff too! I just say "great job" with it!