So, DH has had issues for some years now, and his "episodes" have become more frequent, and more severe, recently. We had to have police involvement this past December. 
He's been on and off antidepressants a few times over the years, but has never gotten what I feel to be an accurate diagnosis, probably because he's never been totally honest with any of his healthcare providers.
Well, he'd been on antidepressants for a few months again, when I recently came home from a visit to my parents house to find that he'd gone off his medication while I was away, and he was in what I'd best interpret as a manic rage--fervently ripping up and replacing the hardwood flooring in our living room and not speaking to or acknowledging the kids or me unless he wanted to reprimand us. And that's only part of it, sadly.
I suggested he go back to the doc, but he refused, saying that *I* should go and see if *I* needed medication. Well, I went, not knowing what else to do. The doc's best guess was BPD, and she suggested a joint visit to a psychiatrist. I called the psych, and she said they don't generally do joint appointments, that one person or the other has to be the patient, and the other person can be involved in the spouses care or not, it's up to the patient. DH goes back and forth on whether or not he'll comply, and doesn't want to admit that he is the problem. He says I need help, too, and I must admit that I do, although *he* is my issue here! They said that I couldn't come in and simply brief them on DH before any appointment he might have, but that I could declare myself a patient and have my own appointment. I don't know what to do! If he goes alone, he probably will not be honest, and might spin things so that *I* look like I have major issues, which is what he once did with an anger management teacher he had. That teacher never believed me when I told her what happens in our home, and actually made things worse for us. I fear that the same thing might happen again, and if this psych declares him mentally healthy, then I worry that I won't stand a chance of getting help for him. I just feel like he's in total denial! My parents think I should go and talk to the psych, and then try to get DH to go to the next appt, but it is $200 a pop, and I worry that if I go, then DH won't want to spend the money for another appointment!
Help! Any advice appreciated!
Thanks for reading.
He's been on and off antidepressants a few times over the years, but has never gotten what I feel to be an accurate diagnosis, probably because he's never been totally honest with any of his healthcare providers.Well, he'd been on antidepressants for a few months again, when I recently came home from a visit to my parents house to find that he'd gone off his medication while I was away, and he was in what I'd best interpret as a manic rage--fervently ripping up and replacing the hardwood flooring in our living room and not speaking to or acknowledging the kids or me unless he wanted to reprimand us. And that's only part of it, sadly.
I suggested he go back to the doc, but he refused, saying that *I* should go and see if *I* needed medication. Well, I went, not knowing what else to do. The doc's best guess was BPD, and she suggested a joint visit to a psychiatrist. I called the psych, and she said they don't generally do joint appointments, that one person or the other has to be the patient, and the other person can be involved in the spouses care or not, it's up to the patient. DH goes back and forth on whether or not he'll comply, and doesn't want to admit that he is the problem. He says I need help, too, and I must admit that I do, although *he* is my issue here! They said that I couldn't come in and simply brief them on DH before any appointment he might have, but that I could declare myself a patient and have my own appointment. I don't know what to do! If he goes alone, he probably will not be honest, and might spin things so that *I* look like I have major issues, which is what he once did with an anger management teacher he had. That teacher never believed me when I told her what happens in our home, and actually made things worse for us. I fear that the same thing might happen again, and if this psych declares him mentally healthy, then I worry that I won't stand a chance of getting help for him. I just feel like he's in total denial! My parents think I should go and talk to the psych, and then try to get DH to go to the next appt, but it is $200 a pop, and I worry that if I go, then DH won't want to spend the money for another appointment!
Help! Any advice appreciated!
Thanks for reading.
My husband has BPD. I have no advice about how to get your husband to accept help, but I can say that I really benefited from going to a psychologist for a while. It was very helpful to have somewhere confidential to vent and she was able to give me some strategies to help deal with DH, and a bit better understanding of what was going on with him. It really helped me to stay healthy.
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