Christian perspective on the term "our vagina"

[Zenful]

The other day I was reading the birth story of a devout Christian woman who had a wonderful birthing experience at home. The story was beautiful to read, but when I got to the part where she said that the baby came out of "our vagina" (meaning her and her husband's), I was truly baffled and disturbed.

I was raised Christian, enjoyed reading the Bible on occasion, my path has taken me elsewhere (I'm spiritual/non-religious) but I still have a lot of respect for the essence of Christianity and its foundation for being Christ-like.

Maybe I wasn't devout enough or whatever because I seriously don't understand the "our vagina" comment. I do understand that when a man and woman unites in a Christian marriage, their souls and bodies become one, right? I thought it was metaphorically speaking, though. From the way she put it, it sounds to me like she feels her husband co-owns her vagina. Do any other Christians feel this way? If so, I'd really like to know why. From my perspective, a vagina belongs to the woman and not anyone else. I feel that if a person doesn't own their body then there could be some sexual confusion with others that is not the healthiest. In other words, you may not feel you have the right to say no if the other person wants sex or you have the right to do what you want with your body.

Any and all comments are welcome.

[hrsmom]

Is it possible she was just accustomed to speaking in the first person plural? As in "we're pregnant" "we're 20 weeks along" "we're due in September" etc.? (That always sounds a bit strange to me, even though it's pretty common.) That would be my guess. "Our vagina" does have an odd ring to it, though!

[CariOfOz]

Prefacing this by saying I'm not Christian You're not the only one that finds it just WEIRD. Sorry, 'our' is not an applicable term for any of my body parts... they are MINE and I may choose to share them as I will.

[EdnaMarie]

If she talked about how "our penis" ejaculated sperm into "our vagina" then fine.

Either way it's weird, but if only her parts are "theirs" then it's not right, in my opinion, as a Christian. "I am my beloved's and he is mine."

(I should clarify that my husband talks about some of my body parts as "his" but he also describes his penis as "yours" (i.e. mine), like, well, never mind, that's TMI, but anyway... he is a Muslim, and it's not a question of co-ownership, it's a question of equality, for me anyway.)

[*Erin*]

that's pretty icky.
and yes, weird, too.

[Kidzaplenty]

Not being in the conversation, or inside of her head for that matter, I don't find it strange at all.

My husband's body is mine. My body is his. This is just the way our marriage works. I have the "right" to "claim" him anytime I want just as he does me. (Of course, we don't do "forced" stuff, but the concept is there.)

So, although I don't necessarily say "our vagina", I do say that he "owns" me as much as I "own" him. We are one. So what is mine is his and what is his is mine.

If that makes sense.

[Smokering]

Is "snort" an acceptable Christian response?

I mean, yes, I believe that DH's body and mine belong to each other (and ultimately to God); but saying "our vagina", "our kidney" or "our toenail" seems cutesy and kind of deliberately political. Or something. It bugs me. But I'm not keen on "We're pregnant" either. ("We're expecting", yes. But "we" don't have heartburn and morning sickness. We "share bodies" as a spiritual principle, but not a physical reality. We both know exactly whose vagina was involved in the birthing process!)

[genifer]

Maybe it was a typo. Or sometimes we say things that sound alright, for one reason or another, at the time. One of those two, its not really a 'christian' thing. I know most of you think Christians are wierd anyway, so there ya go, take it as however you like...

[Kirsten]

Trying to think of a very resepctful way to say "nut job"....

Ok, that wasn't it.

[brightonwoman]

I agree with the pp who explained it in terms of when we married we committed to each other in mind, body and soul, so yes it's my vagina, I don't feel obligated to share it with anyone (even DH) if I dont' want to...on the other hand, he is the one person who has a right to access it, if that makes sense...
I would never refer to it as 'our vagina' cuz i think the phrasing is just very very odd...but I do feel like in a way it does belong to him (because I've committed myself to him, including my body, and I'm reserving access for only him, if that makes sense)

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by genifer

Maybe it was a typo. Or sometimes we say things that sound alright, for one reason or another, at the time. One of those two, its not really a 'christian' thing. I know most of you think Christians are wierd anyway, so there ya go, take it as however you like...

I wouldn't say I find 'Christians' weird... I find people in general weird They/we do weird things and I think life is too short not to have a giggle at weirdness when it presents itself.. ya know, if one can either respectfully (or stealthily do that

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

Either way it's weird, but if only her parts are "theirs" then it's not right, in my opinion, as a Christian. "I am my beloved's and he is mine."

(I should clarify that my husband talks about some of my body parts as "his" but he also describes his penis as "yours" (i.e. mine), like, well, never mind, that's TMI, but anyway... he is a Muslim, and it's not a question of co-ownership, it's a question of equality, for me anyway.)

Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty

Not being in the conversation, or inside of her head for that matter, I don't find it strange at all.

My husband's body is mine. My body is his. This is just the way our marriage works. I have the "right" to "claim" him anytime I want just as he does me. (Of course, we don't do "forced" stuff, but the concept is there.)

So, although I don't necessarily say "our vagina", I do say that he "owns" me as much as I "own" him. We are one. So what is mine is his and what is his is mine.

If that makes sense.

Originally Posted by Smokering

I mean, yes, I believe that DH's body and mine belong to each other (and ultimately to God); but saying "our vagina", "our kidney" or "our toenail" seems cutesy and kind of deliberately political. Or something. It bugs me. But I'm not keen on "We're pregnant" either. ("We're expecting", yes. But "we" don't have heartburn and morning sickness. We "share bodies" as a spiritual principle, but not a physical reality. We both know exactly whose vagina was involved in the birthing process!)

Taking all three responses into consideration, I say I agree with all of the above to lesser or greater degree (and I'm not Christian). But especially the bolded part.

[Bluegoat]

I tend to agree that if it was meant to be theological, it was along the lines of being one flesh, and belonging wholly to each other. And along the lines of St Paul saying the body of one spouse belongs to the other spouse.

Or, it might just be a weird cutesy thing.

I think it would be very nice if I could share my heartburn, hemorrhoids, and insomnia with my dh. Just half the time of course, otherwise it would be unfair.

[Kidzaplenty]

Originally Posted by Bluegoat

I think it would be very nice if I could share my heartburn, hemorrhoids, and insomnia with my dh. Just half the time of course, otherwise it would be unfair.

So would I! Not to mention half the labors and deliveries!

[Phantaja]

When we were together (and sometimes now, eerily enough) my stbxh would refer to parts of my body as "his." I don't think it had much to do with religion though, and he wasn't sharing, so it wasn't "ours."

[lilyka]

If she was talking to her dd about where babies come from she may have been talking about things in a universal sense. "our babies come out of our viginas" or it could have been just bad grammer. Kinda like a weird royal we..... I don't know anyone who would say the the baby came out of a vagina that belonged to her and her husband. Even if they truely believed our bodies belonged to each other. I doubt that is what she intended to mean.

[Zenful]

Originally Posted by lilyka

I don't know anyone who would say the the baby came out of a vagina that belonged to her and her husband. Even if they truely believed our bodies belonged to each other. I doubt that is what she intended to mean.

Sadly, this is what was intended. I read the entire birth story...she wasn't speaking to a small child...she was stating that the baby had come out of "our vagina" and it was very clear that she meant her and her husband's vagina.

[lilyka]

well then the whole thing sounds really weird. Was there other references to her body as our body? I mean....some people are just cooky. more power to them. being a Christian does not create it or stop it.

[Zenful]

Originally Posted by lilyka

well then the whole thing sounds really weird. Was there other references to her body as our body? I mean....some people are just cooky. more power to them. being a Christian does not create it or stop it.

Here's the link to the story ("our vagina" is about halfway through the story, 14th paragraph or so).

I don't remember there being any other references to her body as our body...you can take a look yourself just to make sure, if you're curious. It's a really beautiful story, overall, though.

[eclipse]

Reading it in context, I think an S was left off. It sounds like she's referring to the "sacredness of our vaginas," as in the vaginas of all women.