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Schoolbus Stop Situation...was I wrong? (LONGGG) - Page 3

post #41 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa85 View Post
But how would the OP know that? She couldn't have, especially since the girls were somewhat sure it was their stop.
I just think the OP shouldnt be making ANY decisions. This is a bus driver problem. And I think the bus driver should care more. Sounds like she couldnt give a rats heiny about tiny little kids.
post #42 of 124
Im one thats suprised that happened. From talking to my friends with school aged children I found out that they have IDs they have to have on to ride the bus. On the ID is their name, their parents name/number, their stop number and anyone else whos authorized to pick them up. Their parent HAS to be there for elementry age children or an authorized person. The number is checked anytime they let off a child to make sure they get off at the right stop. I figured thats just how they did bus systems now.
post #43 of 124
I think you did the right thing, under the cirumstances. The little girls were adamant this was the right stop. The mom was clearly relieved and I think that what you did was good deed...much better than say letting the little girls wait by themselves. That being said the bus driver should know which stop was for the little girls and should be held accountable. I know it is unlikely he recognises all the kids within the first couple days, but he should have a list of names and addresses.
post #44 of 124
I'm shocked at how incompetent kids are now considered to be, and I suspect it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When I was little, if a kid messed up on the bus ride they MESSED UP. Oh well, life is about learning and growing not being protected from every little decision. Get on the right bus and / or off at the right stop next time!

I think the OP was very loving to wait with the kids.

When I was in K, in a rural area, the system expected me to walk almost a mile home from the bus stop, alone. My parents lobbied hard with resistance for them to bring me to near the end of my driveway considering I'd turned 5 the first week of school. My mom did not have to stop her laundry (remember life before dryers? And dishwashers? And pre-prepared supermarket dinners) to be visible at the bus stop. I don't think such action was seriously contemplated. Moms did not hang out at the bus stop as a rule.
post #45 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
I'm shocked at how incompetent kids are now considered to be, and I suspect it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When I was little, if a kid messed up on the bus ride they MESSED UP. Oh well, life is about learning and growing not being protected from every little decision. Get on the right bus and / or off at the right stop next time!

I think the OP was very loving to wait with the kids.

When I was in K, in a rural area, the system expected me to walk almost a mile home from the bus stop, alone. My parents lobbied hard with resistance for them to bring me to near the end of my driveway considering I'd turned 5 the first week of school. My mom did not have to stop her laundry (remember life before dryers? And dishwashers? And pre-prepared supermarket dinners) to be visible at the bus stop. I don't think such action was seriously contemplated. Moms did not hang out at the bus stop as a rule.
WOW.. you blame the young elementary aged children? You expect them to know directions, and their stop? If children were so competent they wouldn't need adults for guidance. This was the responsibility of the bus driver. That's what the driver is being paid for.. to take children safely from point a to point b..
post #46 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little grey mare View Post
As a bus driver, I say the situation was totally botched. The girls should not have gotten off the bus. The driver should have used the radio to call base to double check their stop or checked their route information/manifest.
I'm agreeing with this. Even if the bus driver knew the OP, he/she was basically letting the kids off with a stranger (to them) on the assumption that everything would be fine. Not very professional or safe.

However, OP, good job to you. I'm glad you stepped up and helped the little girls out.
post #47 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
When I was in K, in a rural area, the system expected me to walk almost a mile home from the bus stop, alone. My parents lobbied hard with resistance for them to bring me to near the end of my driveway considering I'd turned 5 the first week of school. My mom did not have to stop her laundry (remember life before dryers? And dishwashers? And pre-prepared supermarket dinners) to be visible at the bus stop. I don't think such action was seriously contemplated. Moms did not hang out at the bus stop as a rule.
I am SO glad that schools/buses take better safety precautions and have more concern for kids nowadays. (OP's recent events notwithstanding.)
post #48 of 124
i havent read the whole thread, but WHY does the school/bus driver not have a list with all the kids and what stops they are supposed to get off at????
post #49 of 124
Our school system does not allow students to get off the bus without the bus driver knowing for sure it is thier stop. The bus driver has a list of all the kids on thier bus and thier address. She also has the parents name and telephone number. The kids have tags on thier bookbags that has thier bus number on the front and the kids address on the back.

Sounds like your school needs a new system. I would probably call the board of education and find out what the policy is and if something could be done to avoid this in the future.

By the way, I think you did the best you could.
post #50 of 124
[QUOTE=Porcelain Interior;14338167]
I however think the bus driver made a HUGE mistake.
[QUOTE]

I agree with this.

I would be SOOOOOO angry with the bus driver and the school.

I will disagree with the majority on this board. I think you absolutely made a mistake in agree to take responsibility for those children.
post #51 of 124
no, you would never be charged with abducting the kids--the bus driver turned them over to your care.

I haven't read all the responses, but the mom was probably at the other stop--when the bus driver pulled up and saw here there he said "your girls got off at the earlier/previous stop--they're waiting with another kid's mom"

So she ran/walked to that stop.

You did the right thing. I bet they never get off at the wrong stop again.

We are the system.
post #52 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebebradford View Post
WOW.. you blame the young elementary aged children? You expect them to know directions, and their stop? If children were so competent they wouldn't need adults for guidance. This was the responsibility of the bus driver. That's what the driver is being paid for.. to take children safely from point a to point b..
The point is that I don't blame anyone in the OP's bus stop scenario. What the kids did was age appropriate. I do believe that after no more than a mishap or two, a typically able young elementary aged child can learn the way to and from school, and their stop. I have a couple of generations of automotive history to back me up on this -- children who did in fact, use school busses and public transportation as young elementary age children, sometimes with younger sibs in tow, successfully. We won't count when they used horses, because clearly the horses -- who are often cited as having the intelligence of about a five year old -- knew how to get home, and were of assistance.

I do see children these days who are not allowed to bike around the neighborhood, not allowed to bike to the store or their baseball practice, don't walk anywhere alone or in a group of children, who have no sense of direction. They do not pay attention to where the adults are driving and they could not get home if dropped a half-mile from their house. They have no sense of how far they are from any particular place. As teens, they cannot fathom walking a mile to the library and some of them think they are too good for the public bus.

I messed up riding the school bus once when I was 5. Second day of school. I did not make that particular mistake again.
post #53 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by babymommy2 View Post
I am also with your husband. I think you did what you thought was right and luckily the mom was not more upset, but it was up to the bus drivers to not let those children off, at least not the 5 year old. The bus driver does not know you, and cannot entrust those children inot your care. I would be pretty upset to know my bus driver left my children in the care of a stranger. If that had been my situation I weould have been waiting for my kids at the bus stop, if they didn't get off I would be asking the driver where they were, I would be calling the school to find out if they got on, if the driver didin't know (but he should). I would fully expect the driver to take them back to the school if he missed their stop, or if I was late, so the first place I would look at is the school, or follow the busroute myself and get my child off the bus had I been late. At our bus children who are in grade 1 and K are not to be let off the bus unless the designated person is there to take them, and they are to be returned to school, so knowing that, it is what I would expect and how I would try to find my child.
This. I think the bus driver is trained to drop kids off at the right place and if he doesn't know where that is, they stay in the safety of the bus. You are a good person, but he had no way of knowing that and basically dropped them off with a complete stranger. He would be responsible if something happened to them. He should have driven further up the hill to see if the girls recognized their house or contacted the school for their exact address.
post #54 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
I do see children these days who are not allowed to bike around the neighborhood, not allowed to bike to the store or their baseball practice, don't walk anywhere alone or in a group of children, who have no sense of direction. They do not pay attention to where the adults are driving and they could not get home if dropped a half-mile from their house. They have no sense of how far they are from any particular place. As teens, they cannot fathom walking a mile to the library and some of them think they are too good for the public bus.
In June I was in the hospital and DD (10) had a Girl Scout thing. One leader picked her up at my mom's. She is a mail carrier so the address was enough for her to find the house. A different leader dropped her off and I guess she didn't get the address because she figured DD knew how to get to Grandma's. DD's cell phone had died too. So anyways.. grandma lives a mile away from our house. She has lived there for the last four years.. and DD could not find the house. The leader had to drive all the way to our house and DD still had trouble finding it!!! Now I should say that DD has ADD but I would still think she should be able to find Grandma's from just about any point in town. It's a small town! Her street is off the main highway (just way far down.)

You can bet we have been working with DD on directions!
post #55 of 124
OP, I would be much more concerned about what your DH did to you than what you did at the bus stop. It sounds emotionally abusive to me the way he immediately found fault with what you did and then made you doubt yourself to the point of not sleeping well.
post #56 of 124
Wow, I'm amazed at the level of fear and hostility there is towards other people in the community, and other parents at a child's school!

Are we so fearful of doing the wrong thing, that we can't step up and take care of some children for a few minutes in an open public space? Do we have to immediately assign blame on the bus driver, the children, the OP?

The kids were safe, they'll probably never get off at the wrong stop again, and one mom got to meet another parent in her neighborhood. All good things in my opinion.
post #57 of 124
You were wrong IMO. They are not your children and they are not your children and you probably caused that mother a great deal of panic when her kids did not come off the bus when expected. You didn't have any right to say you would watch the kids. The bus driver was also 100% wrong and should possibly lose his job IMO. If I found out a bus driver let my kids out at a stop when there was noone there to meet them except some random woman who admits she doesn't know them then I would be demanding his job on a platter!
post #58 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmel23 View Post
Wow, I'm amazed at the level of fear and hostility there is towards other people in the community, and other parents at a child's school!

Are we so fearful of doing the wrong thing, that we can't step up and take care of some children for a few minutes in an open public space? Do we have to immediately assign blame on the bus driver, the children, the OP?

The kids were safe, they'll probably never get off at the wrong stop again, and one mom got to meet another parent in her neighborhood. All good things in my opinion.
Yes, it turned out really well, and it helps if you can afford to live in a community where you can trust 99.9% of the people. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is not like that. I live in a metropolitan area and I would be LIVID if my kid was dropped off with someone I didn't have a clue about. In today's world you just have to be sure your kids are supervised by someone that is trained to do so, or someone that you personally know and trust. Too many things happen to children for me to feel all neighborly and trusty all the time. I wish it wasn't like this and it is not the way I was raised, but....c'est la vie.

I'm glad everything turned out well. I still think your DH had a point, but he was wrong to blame you and not the school's policy.
post #59 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
You were wrong IMO. They are not your children and they are not your children and you probably caused that mother a great deal of panic when her kids did not come off the bus when expected. You didn't have any right to say you would watch the kids. The bus driver was also 100% wrong and should possibly lose his job IMO. If I found out a bus driver let my kids out at a stop when there was noone there to meet them except some random woman who admits she doesn't know them then I would be demanding his job on a platter!
OP, you can't win for loose. Something you do will always make someone unhappy. Continue to follow your heart and then you know that at least you always did what you felt was right.
post #60 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by childsplay View Post
So I tell the bus driver not to worry I'll hang out here with them until the Mom arrives . (the Mom being late is completely understandable to me, as it's happened to me numerous times before...)
So we all go over and sit on the grass on the side of the road careful to be highly visable for the Mom. At this point one of the girl's starts crying a bit saying she thinks she made a big mistake, because now the hill doesn't look familiar.
Ok say I, no problem we'll sort it out and find your Mom. I ask the child for her phone number, which she rhymes off perfectly. I call her house and leave a message saying who I was, where we are, etc...
In total we're there about 10 minutes when the Mom comes running down the sidewalk. Turns out they were supposed to get off at the next stop (which looks very much like this one)
The Mom was happy to see them and thanked me and we chatted for a bit then went on our way.

It's what I and my husband both would have done.
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