or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Schoolbus Stop Situation...was I wrong? (LONGGG)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Schoolbus Stop Situation...was I wrong? (LONGGG) - Page 4

post #61 of 124
I'm having a hard time putting the attitude on thread, that the OP was right to watch random kids she didn't know, with the general attitude on MDC that we should be VERY selective of who we leave our kids with.

Think about this from the other side. If a mom came on here and said that she'd expected her kids to get off the bus and it came and went with no sight of them. And then she'd finally gone home and listened to her messages only to find out that some stranger had offered to watch them at a different stop, the response would be entirely different. People would be all over the bus driver/company and telling her to call the school and make a fuss.
post #62 of 124
Because the bus driver could very well have just left the kids there. I am sure that is what would have happened here..I know it is what would have happened when I was in school. She was just looking out for some kids who got off at the wrong stop.
post #63 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
Because the bus driver could very well have just left the kids there. I am sure that is what would have happened here..I know it is what would have happened when I was in school. She was just looking out for some kids who got off at the wrong stop.
No, she TOLD the driver to let them off with her. Her most likely would have kept them on the bus but this woman was assuring him that she would take responsibility for them.
post #64 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
No, she TOLD the driver to let them off with her. Her most likely would have kept them on the bus but this woman was assuring him that she would take responsibility for them.
You are assuming the bus driver would have chased down the kids and made them get back on the bus. Remember the older girl was already walking down the street. When I went to school they would have just let them go. She just told the bus driver she would look after them til mom got there.

I just don't understand why everyone is so upset. Should she have walked off and let the kids stand there by themselves???
post #65 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
The point is that I don't blame anyone in the OP's bus stop scenario. What the kids did was age appropriate. I do believe that after no more than a mishap or two, a typically able young elementary aged child can learn the way to and from school, and their stop.
All the double-checks and cross-checks are in place because of the kids who didn't make it home safely.
post #66 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
I'm having a hard time putting the attitude on thread, that the OP was right to watch random kids she didn't know, with the general attitude on MDC that we should be VERY selective of who we leave our kids with.

Think about this from the other side. If a mom came on here and said that she'd expected her kids to get off the bus and it came and went with no sight of them. And then she'd finally gone home and listened to her messages only to find out that some stranger had offered to watch them at a different stop, the response would be entirely different. People would be all over the bus driver/company and telling her to call the school and make a fuss.
Um, yes? People are saying that they'd call the school and make a fuss if it had been their kids left. But the OP isn't the mom who had her kids left by the bus driver. She's the, fortunately, nice mom who stayed with the kids and called their mom so she knew where they were. The mom has the OP's number in her phone and can call her up if she needs a witness to what happened for a court case, or if it gets to that point, the mom's lawyer will be able to locate the OP quite easily.

There isn't a conflict here. You don't leave your kids with random people on purpose, but if it happens by accident, it's a blessing that there are people like the OP in the world.
post #67 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
They do not pay attention to where the adults are driving and they could not get home if dropped a half-mile from their house. They have no sense of how far they are from any particular place. As teens, they cannot fathom walking a mile to the library and some of them think they are too good for the public bus.
Okay, that is ridiculous, but I don't see what it has to do with a five year old not knowing that the bus stop that looks just like her stop and is right by her stop is the wrong place.
post #68 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebebradford View Post
WOW.. you blame the young elementary aged children? You expect them to know directions, and their stop? If children were so competent they wouldn't need adults for guidance. This was the responsibility of the bus driver. That's what the driver is being paid for.. to take children safely from point a to point b..
Actually, I agree with the PP. I DO expect my kids to know directions and their stop. Kids live up to expections, and down to over-management.
post #69 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Yes, it turned out really well, and it helps if you can afford to live in a community where you can trust 99.9% of the people.
I believe that you can trust 99.9% of the people in pretty much every community. It's just our paranoia and media-fed fear that makes us think otherwise.
post #70 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Okay, that is ridiculous, but I don't see what it has to do with a five year old not knowing that the bus stop that looks just like her stop and is right by her stop is the wrong place.
Guess what? Next bus ride she'll get off at the right stop. It doesn't look *just* like her stop. She may ask the driver for assurance, but she will pay attention to little things ... colors of houses ... configurations of trees ... street signs ... noises.

I do not think infantalizing children is good for their minds or spirits.
post #71 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
All the double-checks and cross-checks are in place because of the kids who didn't make it home safely.
Then they've *completely failed* because the most dangerous place for a child to be is in a car and this societal attitude that you can't trust anyone and kids are infants and/or in constant abduction risk is putting them in cars. Even if they ride the bus, moms are often driving to the stops to wait.

Oh, and they're getting really fat to boot, which is hardly safe. What's the obesity stat on US schoolchildren now? 30%?
post #72 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
You are assuming the bus driver would have chased down the kids and made them get back on the bus. Remember the older girl was already walking down the street. When I went to school they would have just let them go. She just told the bus driver she would look after them til mom got there.

I just don't understand why everyone is so upset. Should she have walked off and let the kids stand there by themselves???
Te busdriver would NOT have left them there with no adult supervision. No way, no how. He would have gone to prison for that and it is in his contract with the school. Times are different now than they were when you were growing up. Schools now have incredibly vigilant policies about this. That's why the busdriver messed up leaving them with a stranger.
post #73 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post
I believe that you can trust 99.9% of the people in pretty much every community. It's just our paranoia and media-fed fear that makes us think otherwise.
Ummm, yeah. Maybe twenty years ago. Not today. No way no how. Back when we trusted all the neighbors (and that is a time during which I was growing up), kids were getting raped in our own neighbors' basements by priests, for goodness' sake and no one said anything about it until a couple of years ago. I'm sorry, but I do NOT trust strangers unless they are no longer strangers. If I lived somewhere people were open to having a supportive community I would feel differently. Suburbs and country living are good for that because people know each other and are often even dependent on each other. I live in a metropolitan area where I don't see the same person from day to day in my own building. I would be so very panicked if I couldnt find my child in that setting.
post #74 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Ummm, yeah. Maybe twenty years ago. Not today. No way no how. Back when we trusted all the neighbors (and that is a time during which I was growing up), kids were getting raped in our own neighbors' basements by priests, for goodness' sake and no one said anything about it until a couple of years ago. I'm sorry, but I do NOT trust strangers unless they are no longer strangers. If I lived somewhere people were open to having a supportive community I would feel differently. Suburbs and country living are good for that because people know each other and are often even dependent on each other. I live in a metropolitan area where I don't see the same person from day to day in my own building. I would be so very panicked if I couldnt find my child in that setting.
believe it or not, most people are NOT molesters/abductors. A good book you might find helpful is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin Debecker. It is usually people the child knows that hurts them - strangers aer actually pretty safe.
post #75 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
believe it or not, most people are NOT molesters/abductors. A good book you might find helpful is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin Debecker. It is usually people the child knows that hurts them - strangers aer actually pretty safe.
Ummm. I DO believe it. I in no way think that MOST people are molesters/abusers. As for a stranger's sense of what is safe for children...umm...yeah. Not always. I was just pointing out that in some communities, this attitude works. In mine, UNFORTUNATELY, it does not. I expect the school to have certain policies to make sure my children are not left somewhere I dont know with someone I don't know. I am not teaching my son to be AFRAID of people or strangers. We LOVE people in this family. Will I teach him to not go off with strangers? You bet your pants I will.
post #76 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
Guess what? Next bus ride she'll get off at the right stop. It doesn't look *just* like her stop. She may ask the driver for assurance, but she will pay attention to little things ... colors of houses ... configurations of trees ... street signs ... noises.

I do not think infantalizing children is good for their minds or spirits.
I really think this attitude is a bit mean. I consider my kids "mostly" responsible, but there is a tiny chance my 8-year-old could KNOW where he was. My brother lives around the block and he rides his bike there all the time. If he goes the other way, he gets "lost". He will turn around if he thinks it doesn't look familiar.

He is gifted and aware but that isn't his strength. I just think all kids are different and there can be a huge difference in maturity and ability from 8-10 years old even. Not to mention a 5th grader vs. a 3rd grader.

I can't imagine anyone thinks the OP is in the wrong here.
post #77 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post
I believe that you can trust 99.9% of the people in pretty much every community. It's just our paranoia and media-fed fear that makes us think otherwise.
Yeah, when some attempts to kidnap your child you might not be believing that statistic. I had it happen and like hell will I trust 99.9% of the people I encounter. Was it just my media-fear that had me almost lose my son?
post #78 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
Then they've *completely failed* because the most dangerous place for a child to be is in a car and this societal attitude that you can't trust anyone and kids are infants and/or in constant abduction risk is putting them in cars. Even if they ride the bus, moms are often driving to the stops to wait.

Oh, and they're getting really fat to boot, which is hardly safe. What's the obesity stat on US schoolchildren now? 30%?
What in the world does this have to do with anything? A little girl near my city was recently kidnapped and murdered because her parents let her walk home from school alone at 8 years old. It wasn't even a big city. And like I said in my previous post my son was almost abducted when he was 2. You can stick your fingers in your ears and go "la la la" all you want but it doesn't make the world as safe as you are thinking it is. Hopefully you will never learn that the hard way.
post #79 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
believe it or not, most people are NOT molesters/abductors. A good book you might find helpful is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin Debecker. It is usually people the child knows that hurts them - strangers aer actually pretty safe.
I think you misunderstood the lesson.
post #80 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
What in the world does this have to do with anything? A little girl near my city was recently kidnapped and murdered because her parents let her walk home from school alone at 8 years old. It wasn't even a big city. And like I said in my previous post my son was almost abducted when he was 2. You can stick your fingers in your ears and go "la la la" all you want but it doesn't make the world as safe as you are thinking it is. Hopefully you will never learn that the hard way.
That little girl wasn't kidnapped and murdered because her parents let her walk home from school alone, she was murdered because an evil person wanted to murder.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Schoolbus Stop Situation...was I wrong? (LONGGG)