How do you have the energy to do it all?

[samy23]

How you manage to have enough energy to do everything you do? I have one child and work part-time and I'm constantly exhausted. Some of you have several children, work full-time and/or go to school part-time/full-time aswell!

I want to go back to school, but Im really concerned I just won't have the energy to do it.

How do you ladies do it all and not collapse in a heap half way through your day?

[staceychev]

I think you just do what you have to do, and then everything else (like an immaculate house, ) falls by the wayside. I also think that being busy keeps your energy up. I'm a teacher, and believe it or not, I'm more productive in my life as a whole while I'm teaching than I am in the summer when I'm off.

[Carita]

child care... I don't think I could have ever done it without child care. working/going to school takes a different brain energy and to me is not as physically exhausting as my 2 year old. :P

and i agree - all the other chores fall to the wayside. plus, it makes a difference to have a supportive partner or other system.

[Ellien C]

no one does it all. Really!

[KSLaura]

Really?? People have energy? I'm happy if I can just make it through the day. I usually make it a policy not to do housework on days I'm working. We've also gotten an au pair recently, and that has helped out a lot!

[Sharlla]

I have a partner that does his share around the house. Also I only work 4 days a week (42 hours) so having 3 days off is really nice.

[RockStarMom]

I'm always exhausted. But to keep a bit of sanity, I do what is necessary and nothing more. Sleep is more important than cleaning the house, etc.

[~pi]

Caffeine. Massive quantities of caffeine. If I weren't breastfeeding I might well have turned to off-label Ritalin.

Also, my house is a total disaster zone, and I have a very supportive spouse.

Originally Posted by Ellien C

no one does it all. Really!

:

Originally Posted by KSLaura

Really?? People have energy?

[juliasmum]

I was really worried about transitioning from part time WAHM to a full time WOHM, so I sat down and figured out the things I was most worried about and started planning how to make things easier for all of us. Honestly with the system we have in place now things actually seem easier now than when I was a wahm (or even when I was a sahm before that).

Some things that have helped me-

I found a job with a 5 minute commute (I know this isn't an option for everyone, but it helps so much that I'm not spending an hour or so commuting each day).

Plan, plan, plan- I bulk shop for dry good every 3 or 4 months. This is everything from toilet paper to mac and cheese. I am at the store at least 2 hours and fill two carts... I usually just plan to make an evening of it. We have shelves in our garage and in our basement to store these things. DH goes grocery shopping once a week for things like milk, fruits, veggies and bread, etc. My co-workers talk about going grocery shopping 2 or 3 times a week and I just can't imagine spending all that extra time at the store.

For the weekly shopping I have the lists on my computer so I can just print them out each week and we can cross off things we don't need or add what we do. It definitely takes less time than starting a new list from scratch.

We are planning to buy a freezer for our garage so that we can do more freezer meals and keep extras of frozen pizzas and things for quick meals.

I sat down and made a 6 week meal plan and we just repeat that. The only thing repeated on the menu is frozen pizza, so we aren't having the same meal more than once in a month and it hasn't gotten repetitive so far. This also makes buying the dry goods a lot easier because I can see exactly what I need for the next 3-4 months. Everything is kept together in one binder (the shopping lists, recipes, etc) so I don't spend time searching for things.

We have a chore list so DH and I can both see exactly what we are responsible for throughout the week. The day to day cleaning is broken down throughout the week, a little each night, and honestly does not always get done. But we do what we can without making ourselves crazy and catch up on the weekends.

Everything is set out the night before- clothes, shoes, backpacks, soccer stuff, dance stuff, etc. That fight in the morning looking for stuff just adds way too much stress to my day and it is a bad way to start the morning in our house.

My older daughter is in an awesome after school program- they will help remind her to get changed into clothes for soccer so she is ready when I pick her up. She usually does her homework there as well, so I just have to go over it with her when we get home and we have more time to do fun stuff in the evening instead of spending it on homework.

We use google calendar- this makes it easy for DH and I to keep up wih each other's schedule, plus I have it set to email me reminders. I like it especially for setting up repeating things (especially household chores like cleaning/changing the air filters, washing blankets, etc) because you only have to put it in once and then you can just set it to repeat every 2 or 3 months or whatever until the end of time.

I created a household binder to keep everything in one place- stamps, phone numbers (doctors, schools, friends, church, etc), calendars/schedules for various activities we are in, etc. I hate having to spend time searching for things.

Declutter declutter declutter... seriously even having too many clothes makes things more difficult. Pack up half the toys and rotate them in and out if you can't stand to get rid of them.

No TV during the week and no internet until after the kids are in bed. This just seems to help us focus more on doing things as a family.

I've just accepted that I will never get EVERYTHING done that needs to be done, and that is ok. I think we have a pretty good balance right now.

[Seasons]

I like juliasmum's ideas! (Other than the DH doing chores; I am single.) Note that I have one child and WOH full-time. Here are my suggestions from previous posts.
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Well, I think I have a very well-balanced life. I sleep well every night (don't use an alarm clock, in fact), exercise daily, parent well, have a high-powered career, see my friends regularly, and I have time for hobbies like scrapbooking, gardening, reading and photography. And no, I don't have any parenting help at all (my ex is entirely absent and I don't have parents). I do stay organized but my day-planner stays at my office - we keep a relaxed, adventuresome lifestyle rather than an overscheduled frantic one. So here are some tips, c&p'd from my past posts on the subject. I don't mean to brag; I just think that I do the "balancing" bit quite well and I'm happy, and, well, I'd like to see you happy, too.

Multitask whenever possible. I bike-commute: exercise + getting to work + meditation (literally smelling the roses, in season - I have a pretty route).

Live locally. I walk dd to school (a great bonding time), and we grocery shop together on the walk home. She goes to soccer & swimming right after afterschool daycare; the daycare brings her there - it's next door - and I pick her up from there at end of day. = my evenings back for family time.

Cook once a month to fill the freezer, for both work lunches and family dinners. This should take about three hours, a quick Saturday morning. If you can supervise a playdate at your house during the big cook, all the better!

Do all the housework during the week - I do laundry first thing in a.m. before dd wakes - and then play all weekend. I refuse to deprive myself, or dd, of fun!

Read every night in bed as cuddle & family time.

Having a comfy home is important to me, so I haven't lowered cleaning or yardwork standards. And I am green, so I did and do the making-all-our-baby-food-then-and-our-lunches-now, cloth diapering, never paper plates, composting etc. And I am on a tight budget, so we can't order dinner deliveries, and I can't have a mother's helper - and I can't reduce my FT working schedule. I mention these because I see them often on others' lists - they don't work for me.

One big simplification I do is eliminate driving during the week.

Because I'm getting over an hour a day in "commute cardio," I can reduce my gym time. It is far more important to me that my non-working time is family time.

Her daycare is right next to her school and aligned with the school calendar, so early dismissals and inservice days - and the entire summer - are covered. No more hunting-for-childcare stress!

I save a large portion of my salary. That reduces stress and eases emergencies, = simplifies.

We see friends by hosting casual dinner parties, or sharing activities (like the zoo and beach) we'd attend anyway. By "doubling up" and seeing most of my girlfriends during a playdate, we save time. I also see girlfriends (and dates) during weekday lunches. (I brownbag and meet a friend halfway in a big office-building atrium.)

I drop toxic/marginal friends. It's an energy suck.

I'm starting to barter yardwork and home maintenance chores - I helped a friend prune last weekend (with my daughter helping), and friend will help weed this weekend. Makes chores into a fun visit.

I keep a positive attitude. Feeling pride about supporting and creating my family solo = lots of energy, vs. feeling bitter = resentment and fatigue.

Multitask! For instance, I take my daughter to the mountains for snow play (sledding, snowshoeing) most weekends. I combine this with exercise, and friend-outings (meeting up with other people or families sometimes).

Laundry-folding is a family game.

I write thank-you and other letters while waiting at doctor's appointments and sports practices. I even keep a nail file and mending in my bag and so can do these things then. I call and catch up with friends by telephone then, too.

Basically I focus on my daughter constantly (no babysitters) and "fold in" exercise and other people into our activities. It works very well for us, and I don't feel like I'm slacking on anything.
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Good luck! It does get easier after the early nurse-through-the-night, pump-through-the-day first year or two.

[juliasmum]

Such a great post, Seasons! I especially love this:

Originally Posted by Seasons

I keep a positive attitude. Feeling pride about supporting and creating my family solo = lots of energy, vs. feeling bitter = resentment and fatigue.

The positive attitude is so important. I think it is so easy to get bogged down and feel bitter when you have to do it all, or if you have a partner and one partner feels like they are doing too much of the work while the other is slacking.

The balance is such an amazing feeling when you can achieve it.

[madskye]

I cut way back on what I commit to doing.

I made a commitment to myself, and I joined a gym and work out several times each week. DD is 4 now, it's easier to get away for an hour or so, whether during my work time or my time with her, and I just decided I needed it and I was worth it.

Working out gives me tons more energy and mental focus.

[marilynmama]

To the OP, my first question would be why are you so exhausted? I would really think about that and try to fix it. Are you sleeping enough, have enough down time? Sleep is so important

I WOH full time (I'm the breadwinner) and I also homeschool my kids and I can't say that I'm tired or feel run down any--we don't have any outside help either. I make sure I get my sleep (most days anyways), to me that is really important!

[Alyantavid]

Organization.

I have routines for everything that work for and that I stick to. My house is very uncluttered and I try to keep any extra stuff out.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by staceychev

I think you just do what you have to do

yeah that

Most days I stay so busy doing what I need to do that I don't think about it. The days that I think about all that I have to do (homeschool, my college, my work, errands, housework) are the depressing days for me so I try not to dwell on it. I do enjoy my evenings and weekends and spare moments I get throughout each day.

[seriosa]

So I have a 40 min. each way commute, and work 6 hours out of home and 2 hours at home mon-fri. I have a DH who also WOH but does his fair share of the housework. We have a babysitter 6 hours a week when my work schedule doesn't match DS school hours. We don't do a lot of extra "fun" activities though, most of our down time is just spent at home in unstructured relaxation

Our way - organisation. I'm also a time management / efficiency maniac and always looking for ways and tools to shave off minutes, or seconds from chores (including at the workplace).

Budget your time like you do your money. How much do you have (24 hours usually ). Try to examine how you spend it. How much time really you spend working / studying / commuting / with your family / doing housework, sleeping, meals, personal care, etc. Identify your necessities then sort the rest based on your preferences or personal priorities.

Then examine how you do the things in the time allotted. Strive to eliminate inefficiency and wasted time. There are any number of organisational websites applied to home managements.

My company where I work is going through a "Lean Manufacturing methods" craze at the moment, but the "5S" principles they are applying to our shop floor work fine at home too:

Sort - remove the unecessary, keep only the tools you need. Basically, declutter

Straighten - a place for everything and everything in its place

Sweep & Shine - start from clean. An in-depth spring clean, a one-time big effort to get everything just so, then go from there

Standardize - Lists, schedules. Known processes for what you need to do. What, how, how often.

Sustain - Routines. Once everything is in place, keep at it. Routines take self discipline to establish, but once they become habits they become a huge asset, not a weight.

that said....

Originally Posted by Seasons

Cook once a month to fill the freezer, for both work lunches and family dinners. This should take about three hours, a quick Saturday morning. If you can supervise a playdate at your house during the big cook, all the better!
.

I do this too, autumn through spring, but for me it is a 8-10 hour marathon one sunday every four (about 18-20 meals for 3 people). How do you do it in just 3 hours ???

[Seasons]

Originally Posted by seasons

Cook once a month to fill the freezer, for both work lunches and family dinners. This should take about three hours, a quick Saturday morning. If you can supervise a playdate at your house during the big cook, all the better!

Originally Posted by seriosa

I do this too, autumn through spring, but for me it is a 8-10 hour marathon one sunday every four (about 18-20 meals for 3 people). How do you do it in just 3 hours ???

Dozens of chicken breasts cooked in marinades; burritos; chili; lentil soup; red beans & rice (soak beans overnight)...

[babycarrier]

along with all the wonderful tips from above - I will add in vitamins.

I work 2nd shift ft out of the home and homeschool my two boys on top of running an old farmhouse that requires so much attention. I was so exhausted forever. About a year ago I met with a naturopath a couple of times and found out what my deficiencies were. Since supplementing I feel so much better. When I start to feel run down I recognize that I've slacked on the vitamins/supplements and been running to sugar for pick me ups. That is when the exhaustion sets in.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

[Surfacing]

:

[*MamaJen*]

Um, low standards?