How do you have the energy to do it all? - Page 2

[marybethorama]

I don't clean my house

I try hard to keep it fairly picked up and not filthy, but there's no deep cleaning happening.

Otherwise I just do my best. It does help that my kids aren't in a lot of activities ATM. Otherwise it would be much crazier.

[bauchtanz]

I got a cleaning lady.

[meemee]

i too am surprised you are so tired with working part time.

i WOH full time and i didnt have a problem with tiredness. i am single too with one child.

now i go to school full time and that is sooooo much harder than owrking full time.

i would say look and see why you are so tired. do you need medical attention. low in iron? hormones? something else i have seen in health and healing?

or are you not allowing yourself some fun? depression? enough sleep? worries?

i am taking hard sciences. i could not work part time AND be a full time student. i would have no time with dd. so instead i chose to live simply just so i can hang out with dd.

those who seem like they are doing it all are doing it at a cost. and usually it is the children who suffer. i come across so many students who have told me they regret the time they have lost with their children. these are moms who didnt have family take care of their children - but daycare.

[samy23]

Originally Posted by meemee

i would say look and see why you are so tired. do you need medical attention. low in iron? hormones? something else i have seen in health and healing?

or are you not allowing yourself some fun? depression? enough sleep? worries?

Yeah I would say it's my diet could be better, and I don't sleep very well. I'll have to try work on those things, and look again at all the great tips in this thread, thanks ladies!

[meemee]

Originally Posted by samy23

Yeah I would say it's my diet could be better, and I don't sleep very well. I'll have to try work on those things, and look again at all the great tips in this thread, thanks ladies!

samy dont beat yourself over diet. crappy diet is just not reason enough to make you tired. most of the general population has a crappy diet. they are ok.

why arent you sleeping? insomnia? worries?

[_betsy_]

I WOH FT, nights, DH works days. We have a 3 yo and an 8 month old.

It's hard. I don't get enough sleep. Someone or something always needs me, 24/7.

Diet, vitamins, lots of water, sleeping as much as possible, and getting fresh air and exercise are key.

We have DVR so I can watch the few shows I'm interested whenever I get time it helps sometimes to sit for 15 minutes and watch half a sit-com or whatever.

Finding joy in the little things helps. I really enjoy my commute, just listening to the radio without someone screaming in the backseat. Painting my toe nails so I have a little splash of color makes me happy - so worth the effort to me!

Getting a break is probably the one thing I want to incorporate most - a 2-hour, once-a-week, set in stone break. That I can use how ever I want - even if that means telling DH to get the kids out of the house so I can sleep uninterrupted.

I have lower standards. The house isn't always as clean as I'd like it to be. We eat out far too much. But I'm only human, and I can't expect or be expected to work all 24 hours of the day.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by meemee

i too am surprised you are so tired with working part time.

i WOH full time and i didnt have a problem with tiredness. i am single too with one child.

now i go to school full time and that is sooooo much harder than owrking full time.

i would say look and see why you are so tired. do you need medical attention. low in iron? hormones? something else i have seen in health and healing?

or are you not allowing yourself some fun? depression? enough sleep? worries?

i am taking hard sciences. i could not work part time AND be a full time student. i would have no time with dd. so instead i chose to live simply just so i can hang out with dd.

those who seem like they are doing it all are doing it at a cost. and usually it is the children who suffer. i come across so many students who have told me they regret the time they have lost with their children. these are moms who didnt have family take care of their children - but daycare.

Some jobs are more strenuous than others; and some children are more strenuous than others!

However, it would be a good idea to do a general health check and sleep check. If you have a known chronic condition, of course, that will sap your time and energy no matter what you do.

I will say that I don't regret for a minute the time that DS spent in daycare. It was a nurturing, happy place for him when we had very little family nearby, and it was part of building a better life for him. Nothing to regret.

[Seasons]

Originally Posted by lolar2

I will say that I don't regret for a minute the time that DS spent in daycare. It was a nurturing, happy place for him when we had very little family nearby, and it was part of building a better life for him. Nothing to regret.

[JamSamMom]

What great advice!

[Sol_y_Paz]

Originally Posted by samy23

How you manage to have enough energy to do everything you do? I have one child and work part-time and I'm constantly exhausted. Some of you have several children, work full-time and/or go to school part-time/full-time aswell!

I want to go back to school, but Im really concerned I just won't have the energy to do it.

How do you ladies do it all and not collapse in a heap half way through your day?

I wonder this all the time too about so many people!

[Herausgeber]

I think I would be more tired if I worked PT or stayed home full time. Also, I love my caregiver, and I know my DD's life is richer for the balance.

[Elecampane]

I honestly don't believe it is possible to do it all. Speaking for myself, I *don't* have the energy and it's killing me. I get home from work and I just want to lay comatose on the couch. My house is a disaster, I am perpetually disorganized and unprepared, my temper is short, we eat crap most nights, live out of laundry baskets, etc. It sucks. Mornings are even worse. Oh, the stress.

(And for the record, I don't regret the time my DD spends in daycare, either. She has loving caregivers, a stimulating, caring environment and I know her life is only the richer for it. )

[meandmine]

I honestly don't believe it is possible to do it all. Speaking for myself, I *don't* have the energy and it's killing me. I get home from work and I just want to lay comatose on the couch. My house is a disaster, I am perpetually disorganized and unprepared, my temper is short, we eat crap most nights, live out of laundry baskets, etc. It sucks. Mornings are even worse. Oh, the stress.

(And for the record, I don't regret the time my DD spends in daycare, either. She has loving caregivers, a stimulating, caring environment and I know her life is only the richer for it.

I am glad that day care is a positive.

Other than that, why do it if you are exhausted, the house is a disaster and your temper is short?

Do you have options to sah or work pt or do something differently?

You have described my life and I hate it, but I have no choice -- stbx h walked out and I had to go back to work. It is killing me and I am trying to find ways to make it better -- more organized about setting up lunches the night before; clothes for school sorted in bins for the week; an evening routine of piano practice, homework and dinner (on the nights we don't have soccer or piano lessons). Trying to plan menus two weeks in advance.

The more routines I put in place the better.

It is still hell ... oh my God is it hard. My younger dd has taken to clawing at her scalp and making it bleed; my older dd is disrespectful and anxious. It sucks. They go to SACC at 7:15 am and I pick them up at 6:15 pm -- 11 hours of institutional care (too much imo).

Next improvement is to hope for a job at a smaller school, closer to home so I can leave work at work (for the most part) and cut my commute in half. Will be done with grad school at the end of next summer. Hoping that helps. In the meantime, looking for all those smaller ways to take the pressure and stress off per the above.

M

[Elecampane]

Originally Posted by meandmine

Other than that, why do it if you are exhausted, the house is a disaster and your temper is short?

Do you have options to sah or work pt or do something differently?

Well, I don't have a choice. I have to work FT for financial reasons. My DH is around but he also has to work. We barely make ends meet as it is with both of us working. I also have the extenuating circumstance just now of being 13 weeks pregnant...so physically I am just not at my peak. I am hoping that changes in the next few weeks as I get into my second trimester. But I am very lucky to have a flexible job that I like well enough. I should stop whining, I know.

Glad to hear that having routines and planning ahead is working for you. I need to get myself there, stat. When I can get off the couch in the evenings. I *think* about it obsessively but have a hard motivating myself to actually *do* something.

OP, I'm glad you started this thread--so many good ideas here.

[CatsCradle]

I honestly don't know where the term "doing it all" came from, or what the term entails. Does it mean being the "primary" parent, working full-time, primary housekeeper, primary cook, primary errand person? What does "doing it all" really mean? If the term encompasses all of the above, then no, I wouldn't be able to do it all and take any kind of pride in myself or my tasks. Something would have to give. I know there are super moms out there who can reach perfection in all of those areas...but heck, I wouldn't be one of them without some kind of compromise.

Some things that help me stay focused and help me achieve a comfortable balance:

1) Supportive DH who shares in everything (including cleaning).

2) Routines: it was a hard transition when DD was first born, but now we have those routines down and pretty much stick to them.

2) Planning ahead: I can't say how much this particular tool helps me! Example: we cook on Sundays for meals on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays; lunches are made the night before; knowing yearly school schedule so that any items for special events (like Halloween costumes, science projects, etc. can be made weeks in advance (or at least started early enough so one doesn't have to pull all-nighters);

3) Spot cleaning and staggered cleaning: bathroom gets spot cleaned every night; laundry gets done on Sunday mornings; DH and I clean floors on Sunday evenings; DD generally abides by the rule that she can't play with another toy or do a new project before she cleans up the old. I usually do a major cleaning once a month (wash blankets; clean windows; pull sofas out for vacumning). This generally takes me about two hours (we live in an apartment - so there isn't much square footage); DH does food shopping on Thursday nights.

4) Saturdays are more or less a day of rest for the whole family. We've found that when you have a full day to recharge, it makes all the difference in the world. This leaves us much more rested on Sundays to do our chores and prepare for the upcoming week.

I know this all sounds rather simplistic, but it is the only way that we can keep our sanity and balance work and life. There are days when I am exhausted but I gotta admit, we have a lot of free time on our hands too. I think that if you can get yourself into some kind of routine and stick with it, the tasks are a lot less overwhelming.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by CatsCradle

I know this all sounds rather simplistic, but it is the only way that we can keep our sanity and balance work and life. There are days when I am exhausted but I gotta admit, we have a lot of free time on our hands too. I think that if you can get yourself into some kind of routine and stick with it, the tasks are a lot less overwhelming.

I totally agree with this one. While we're not always perfect at it (my yard is a mess right now!) it's getting things into a routine that keeps us from feeling totally burnt and overwhelmed.

The biggest thing is to just deal with things right then and not procrastinate where possible. Like if it's clearly junk mail, toss it. If it's a dirty glass, take it to the sink. If it was Playdough time, actually clean it up - all of it - right after. If there were muddy boots, grab a towel and wipe it.

I think it's very personal but mine generally are:

Daily (ish)
- kitchen gets cleaned up (dishes done or in dishwasher, counters cleared and wiped, sink cleaned, table cleared and wiped) every day
- bathroom gets 'swiped' every day (toilet wiped down/bowl swished, sink and counter wiped down)
- one zone's baskets get cleared - as an explanation, I have a toy/stuff basket in almost every room of the house where anything stray gets tossed, and every night I tidy away one basket (usually I run through the zone putting stuff in the basket first, so I effectively tidy that zone too.)
- every morning I put a load of laundry in the washing machine; around dinner I put it in the dryer; before bed I fold it and in the morning I pop it away.
- everyone in the house uses hampers, wipes down the tub/shower behind themselves, etc. Tidying up is a bit touch and go but we are working on this pretty hard with my son right now.

Weekly (ish)
- I do the floors (vaccuum and steam mop, which also in some cases involves finding the floors ), change the sheets, and get the garbage out
- I do the cat litter
- Mow; clean out car (not so much, this year!)
- I clean out the fridge noting what we have left, and then I plan our meals for the week, shop, and do any prep/weeking cooking
- every other week: bills
- I deep clean/declutter one of my four zones. So my house is rarely all tidy/sparkling together, but no one area has suffered longer than three weeks. My zones are:

Kitchen/bathrooms - clean cupboard doors and check cupboards for old food etc; really good counter clean, clean fronts of appliances and inside the microwave, deep clean tubs/shower, really good scrub down of toilets, cupboard doors, baseboards, door jams, etc.; declutter

Bedrooms/my office/hallway - tidy, dust everything including ceiling fans, declutter, baseboards, doorjams, sort out outgrown clothes/broken toys/etc. Windows, occasionally. Wash duvet covers and bedskirts if it hasn't been done lately. Closets if there's time.

Living room/front hallway/front closet/linen closet/porch - tidy, declutter, dust, windows, seasonal decor, sweep porch, baseboards, etc. I have to do the bathrooms again too, but it's usually more a "so it's not gross" than the full out "make it shine" that it is on the bathroom week.

Rec room/laundry room/miscellaneous - tidy, declutter, dust, windows, clean mirrors, get organized for anything else as this is kind of a light week

I think that's captured most of it. Then every so often (long weekends) I do things like the oven, outside windows, scrub the floors as opposed to the regular steam mopping, and so on.

[That Is Nice]

Mostly I am replying to subscribe to this thread so I can read the posted ideas and tips.

I'm struggling with this very much right now, as I have posted.

[catscharm74]

I have been in many different situation, from Part time and Full Time working and then being a Full Time College student w/ over 20 credit hours per semester and a husband who was deployed for 2 years, back to back. I had NO outside help other than daycare. I agree with so much that has been suggested here. Wonderful postings and ideas!!

Simplify, simplify, simplify!!! When hubby left for his first deployment, I tried to do EVERYTHING. I was getting exhausted and downright angry that I had been left with so much responsibility. I started by knowing my limitations and listing my top 5 priorities in life. Then I made a list of the things I physically needed--the material things- that I would need to accomplish these priorities.

I realized that Martha Stewart I am not. As much as I would love to have the ability to sew and bake cookies, I am just not good at these things. SO I gave up trying so hard. Yes, I buy pre-made cookies but the memories of dunking Peanut Butter cookies in milk are just as equal as to making them from scratch. It's about the time and the love behind all you do.

Secondly, love yourself. I started a weekly routing of giving myself a quick pedi, plucking my brows, getting a haircut when needed and taking good care of my mental, physical and emotional health. I invest in a nice facial cleanser that I love and a special skin scrub that I use daily...it just gives me that lift I need. It's all about the little things.

I tackled the junk I had EVERYWHERE and I got really strict about it. It all comes down to my sanity. I can now easily prep for the next day, doing some one-day cooking on Sunday and preparing all of our work/school clothes for the coming week. I also have a HUGE calendar that I keep all appointments, due dates and what nots listed. I mark off each day when it is done and I make sure to leave a few days blank.

I also do a little cleaning/straightening up each day--even 20 minutes. One load of laundry or wiping down the bathroom makes my life run easier. I try to leave the weekends as open as possible for family fun.

Set limits- I know that if I start over analyzing anything or it is taking too long to accomplish, I re-assess what is going on. Keep it simple!!!

Set personal limits---there are those days where I am wiped out before I even wake up and I listen to my body. When I just can't go on, I will just make my day as easy as possible. I try to cook from scratch and keep ordering out for those moments when I really need them. Pay attention to how you feel- you set the tone for everyone around you. With the exception of a few prep issues on Sunday, we take the whole day off and lounge around. Usually, its church, come home, put on pj's, watch a movie, take a walk, do some cooking and ironing and a little straightening out...keeping it easy peasy.

As far as getting organized, yes I used a whole week of vacation time to do it. I was ruthless and once I was done, it increased my life happiness 110%