Scenerio for non or partial vaxers: WWYD? - Page 2

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by emma1325

If you suddenly became the guardian of children due to the unexpected death of their parents, and the parents listed in their wills that they wished for their children to be fully vaccinated on schedule, would you do it?


My husband and I agreed to be the guardians of my SIL's 2 children should anything ever happen to her and her husband. My SIL fully vaccinates on schedule.

My SIL and her husband are also in place to take custody of our children should anything happen to me and my husband. We don't vaccinate at all.

My husband and I have it written into our wills that we do not wish our children to be vaccinated under any circumstance short of a couple of emergency instances involving rabies or tetanus. We hope and believe that my SIL would follow our wishes.

However, if it came down to it, I don't think I could allow any child under my care to be (what I consider) frivolously and needlessly vaccinated. It's too dangerous and harmful to a child IMO.

So...I feel like a hypocrite, which I should. It's not something I care to discuss with SIL because we are on complete opposite pages regarding vaccines. SIL knows we don't vaccinate, and knows we are passionate about not vaccinating, and still asked us to be guardians. Though she hasn't specifically mentioned vaccines, we know that their wishes would be to vaccinate.

Thoughts?

If it's stated in a will, I would think you have to seek legal counsel to answer your question.

Perhaps you could consider therapies or chelation after vaccination, or try to delay vaccinations.

[MyLilPwny]

If its written in the will, you would have to. Just like if you wrote in your will to not vaccinate your children, they would have to follow what is written in your will. That is the thing with written, signed agreements. Dr. Tenpenny warns of this in her "Saying No To Vaccines" book and she says for example, that its a good idea in a marriage to have a written agreement on what to do with vaccines in the case of divorce if the parents have differing views on vaccines.

[ammiga]

Originally Posted by ThereseReich

If its written in the will, you would have to. Just like if you wrote in your will to not vaccinate your children, they would have to follow what is written in your will. That is the thing with written, signed agreements. Dr. Tenpenny warns of this in her "Saying No To Vaccines" book and she says for example, that its a good idea in a marriage to have a written agreement on what to do with vaccines in the case of divorce if the parents have differing views on vaccines.

I don't think you "have" to. I mean, what are they going to do if you don't? The reason you do that in a marriage is so that courts can see what you agreed on. It's not the same thing when you acquire custody of children.

Personally, I wouldn't leave my kids to anyone if I couldn't have an open conversation with them about our stance on this issue (and others) and feel 100% comfortable with how they would handle it. If someone were to leave me their children and not talk to me about it, I would assume they know that we are a non-vaxing family and will stay that way. I don't keep my feelings on this subject to myself and anyone that I am close enough to knows where we stand on this issue.

[pammysue]

I wonder if you need to re-think the whole custody arrangement. I don't think I could leave my child to someone I disagree with so strongly. We chose my Brother and SIL for DS's guardians. He will not know them as well as they live far from us, but we know my brother and my family will follow our wishes even if they disagree with them (we don't disagree with them strongly with them on anything).

If you feel this is the right arrangement, you need to talk to them. Tell your SIL you are not interested in debating the issue since you know you disagree but that it has been on your mind.

Originally Posted by ThereseReich

Dr. Tenpenny warns of this in her "Saying No To Vaccines" book and she says for example, that its a good idea in a marriage to have a written agreement on what to do with vaccines in the case of divorce if the parents have differing views on vaccines.

Well, that's pretty pessimistic, isn't it.

[emma1325]

Originally Posted by pammysue

I wonder if you need to re-think the whole custody arrangement. I don't think I could leave my child to someone I disagree with so strongly. We chose my Brother and SIL for DS's guardians. He will not know them as well as they live far from us, but we know my brother and my family will follow our wishes even if they disagree with them (we don't disagree with them strongly with them on anything).

If you feel this is the right arrangement, you need to talk to them. Tell your SIL you are not interested in debating the issue since you know you disagree but that it has been on your mind.



Well, that's pretty pessimistic, isn't it.

Perhaps, but IMO a smart thing to do just in case. Not vaccinating can be viewed as medical neglect in the court's eyes when it comes to custody issues.

I know a lady whose husband, during a divorce battle, used the vaccination issue against her. (He had been fine with not vaccinating before the divorce.) She was ordered by the courts to vaccinate or lose custody of her children. She was forced to vaccinate her already vaccine-damaged child in order to keep custody.

Having something in writing and signed by both parents might prevent something like this from happening.

[xmasbaby7]

Just to clarify for those who don't know, you cannot legally dictate that your children remain unvaxed in your will.

Your new guardians have complete rights and would only have to refuse vaccines if they wanted to.

This is why I suggest writing a letter for your selected guardian to be given with the will that maps out your feelings and choices for refusing vaccines, encouraging the new guardian to continue the same path and allowing your own children in on the decisions by a certain age. This emotional plea will go a lot further, IMO.

[emma1325]

Originally Posted by xmasbaby7

Just to clarify for those who don't know, you cannot legally dictate that your children remain unvaxed in your will.

Your new guardians have complete rights and would only have to refuse vaccines if they wanted to.

This is why I suggest writing a letter for your selected guardian to be given with the will that maps out your feelings and choices for refusing vaccines, encouraging the new guardian to continue the same path and allowing your own children in on the decisions by a certain age. This emotional plea will go a lot further, IMO.

Yeah, that's what we have. I stated "written into my will" but to clarify it is a letter stating that we are strongly against our children having vaccines for any reason short of a true rabies or tetanus risk. It is basically a request to their future guardians to leave their immune systems intact.