My three year old desperately wants "sweetheart" (straight) hair. She cries--yesterday it was 25 min of weeping--because her hair is curly.
I am white with stick straight hair, and DH is Kenyan with very, very curly hair that is currently in dredlocks. DD1 has very curly hair with a soft, caucasian like texture. Meaning, it needs a LOT of upkeep. It's too slippery for cornrows, gets very tangled, and needs to be styled if not daily, at least every 2-3 days.
I usually let her leave it down for a day, but any more than that and it's knot city. Even with lots of olive oil, coconut oil, apricot oil, or conditioner, it still knots right up. We have to keep it in pigtails and braids so that it doesn't become a big bird's nest.
DH and I tell her all the time that she has beautiful hair. Strangers even tell her she has gorgeous hair. We explain that God made her with curly hair. That he made her just right, that God does everything right. That she has hair that is a little like Mommy's and a little like Daddy's. That Mommy has hair like this because Gramma and Papa both have straight hair, and Daddy has curly hair because Gramma in Kenya and Daddy's Daddy both had very curly hair. She doesn't care, she just wants sweetheart straight hair.
We've read Happy to be Nappy. We point out beautiful women on TV/in books and magazines with natural hair, or curly hair. We talk about friends (including girls her own age) with AA hair. She doesn't care.
I feel so bad. My daughter is a beautiful, very intelligent girl. I've always read this would come up, but not weeks after her third birthday.