Originally Posted by ema-adama
This is still very raw for me, so I might be totally over reacting myself. But it triggers me that some people are bringing up cherishing parents and IL's gifts not matter what they are. I recently lost my mother very unexpectedly and I do mourn her not being able to give my son toys. But more than that I mourn my son not having his grandmother as a figure in his life.
I do cherish the few toys she was able to give him, and that they are handmade and made with her love makes them even more special to me. I don't know what they will mean to DS when he is older.
I don't even know what bothers me about letting grandparents buy whatever they like because one day they won't be with your child and at least your child will have the gifts they gave them. I guess for me I would prefer the human relationship over the toy - and there are other ways of expressing love other than buying toys.
I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I am sure there are families who have lost grandparens who do cherish the gifts no matter what they were.
First I am so sorry for your loss
I want to say that in regards to things holding memories I feel this is less true for the adults who had time to spend, grow with and know the person and more for the children who might be much younger. My great grandfather had brain cancer and knew he had a short time when I was about 3 years old, his only wish was for us to have some memories of him after he was gone. I have a vague memory of him taking us with him bowling (my Mom confirmed this memory), but I also have two large stuffed toys that he bought for me, made by a local woman. I have held onto those toys until now, and soon they will go to my DS with stories about my great grandfather. It is a great connection to a man I lost when I was so young who meant a lot to my Mom.
While I am lucky to have nice handmade quality pieces to hand down to my son, sometimes if all a child has is a cheap trinkes it still does not make the connection to the person who passed less tangible. It's not the things, but that connection to the person and how much they cared for you, and using those items to tell stories about the person to pass on their legacy to children who might other wise not remember them.