26 wks of up and seriously considering uc... some questions...

[VeezieTG]

due to circumstance beyond my control (sort of) i am at 26 weeks and totally "care provider"-free. its nice. kind of. no one to look over my shoulder. i check my weight at the grocery store, my bp at either the pharmacy or my mil (an rn) brings home her digital thing for me to use. i take my otc prenatal vitamins and measure my fundal height using a chart i got off the internet. we really are considering a uc. my bf is more afraid that there are some kind of legal repercussions than medical ones, i think. but having come this far without anything "happening" (negatively, i guess) he's more and more open to finishing this out as a up then uc...

here are some questions, tho. i've tried to find the answers myself on the forum and in the resources, but its so hard going though everything...

1. as a up, what else should i be looking for besides weight, fundal height, bp and that sort? this is my 4th pregnancy to come this far so i'm thinking that if there were something "off" i'd feel it. but should i be looking for more acute signs of stuff? like a breech? or something.......
2. i'm having major twin paranoia/breech paranoia? what are some of your guys' thoughts on delivering uc without knowing if if you're having multiples or breech???
and 3. if my mil, a rn of over 30 yrs is present (and she will be cos she's going to be with our kids) is it really still a uc? i mean, she wouldn't dare interfere/intervene unless i specifically asked her to, but does that count?

thanks in advance. and i really love reading all the birth stories.

[Sailor]

I can't give you much advice as this is will be my first time giving birth. But, we're doing UP and UC. What I check is bp, weight, fundal height. So, pretty much everything that you are. We're thinking of renting a fetal doppler, but not 100% set on that.

We have some midwife manuals that describe how to palpitate the belly to check the position of the baby. We also have a friend who happens to be a midwife, and, at the time, was pregnant, so she showed us on her belly how to check for position. It's pretty neat. So, that's an option for you if you're worried about position of the baby.

In terms of multiples, I'm not too worried about this. I mean, it's so rare - statistically speaking. But, I also assume that my weight and fundal height would measure differently with multiples than with one baby.

As to whether it counts as a UC - sure, why not? I mean, you ARE doing it alone and will be unless you ask for help.

I'm a little like your boyfriend in that I am also worried about legalities. I know it's legal in every state ... but, then I hear all these UC/CPS stories and that scares the heck out of me. We're thinking of giving birth where my mom lives as opposed to where we are. My mom lives in a great state in terms of birth certificates. There is A LOT less red tape where she is than where we live now.

[Lula's Mom]

This is my second UP. I check the things that you do, but we also have a fetoscope (purchased for $20 from Amazon.com) so we can listen to the heartbeat. Hearing the heart is very important to us, and helps DH feel bonded to the baby very early on (he's gotten really good with the fetoscope!)

The heartbeat has always been found very low down in the third trimester, and we can feel with our hands the large body parts such as the butt and legs, plus smaller ones like feet. So we are not going into the birth without knowing that the baby is head down. You probably can't feel all of that for a while yet, when your baby is bigger. This belly-mapping site might be helpful then.

[Earth Momma]

the biggest concern for me would be MIL in attendance and someone accusing her of practicing med procedures she shouldn't do - it may affect her lisense.

As for everything else - keep reading and learning, trust your instints - you can get those strips to check your sugar and protein in your urine if your into that. Have an emergency plan - how far from the hosp are you and under what conditions should you go i.e. cord prolapse, transverse, pp hemorage, etc.

I personally like to get 1 u/s to check anatomy (bc my 3rd child had a life threatening cardiac condition that was caught with u/s and would have otherwise died) pay out of pocket and its about $150 (worth it for me)

good luck and very cool that MIL is ok with this!!

[zoebird]

i'm with EM about your MIL.

i don't think it will be a problem because she can assert that she just watched your children and that was it, and perhaps you might have to sign a notorized letter to that effect prior to the birth for her or whatever.

but it is still technically a UC in this case. just because someone is trained, doesn't mean that you see them or they are acting as 'assistance."

[indignantgirl]

This will be my 3rd UC (but 4th baby) and I can honestly say that at this point, breech or twins wouldn't phase me. I love going on youtube or the UC websites and watching/reading about all the twin and breech UC births.

As far as making the decision...you don't have to make the decision until you are in labor. I think the "decision" part is what gets to people. But really, when your birth begins, you'll do what feels right. If you are mentally prepared to UC, it will just happen. I saw a midwife friend occasionally during my last two pregnancies and she always told me that I would get the birth that I really wanted. That MOST women get the birth they want and are mentally prepared for. So I made sure I was mentally prepared. I visualized my dream birth every night, and was not surprised when my body knew to do it that way both times. I thought of it as...if you show your body how you want it to react in this specific situation, over and over and over, when that situation arises, your body automatically does what you've "trained" it to do.

I also hung out on the MidwiferyToday forums and picked my midwife friend's brain on practical advice for unusual birthing situations, like breech or cord prolapse, etc...

I didn't "plan" my UC's, in the sense that I decided months ahead of time that it would be that way. I didn't want to have too much time to second guess myself. But I wanted it, and prepared for it, and when I went into labor, I knew it would be UC because nothing else even OCCURRED to me.

I would worry about liability with your MIL, and I would also worry that her medical training might make her more antsy than if she weren't trained. I don't know her, of course, so this is just a thought. I just know that my SIL is an RN and though she is completely in awe of UC and very supportive, I know that she would be watching out for something wrong, because she is trained to do that. And even though nothing is likely to go wrong, having somebody THINKING about something going wrong would kind of throw me off my whole positive vibration thing I like to have going at my births.

Way to go on completely unassisted PG! I've never had one, as I love the attention the midwife friend gives me when she comes around. I enjoy the pampering.

[Marlet]

I agree with the concern for your MIL. Check your state laws. Also, at least for my state, she will be listed on the birth certificate as an attendent. Call your vital stats office and ask (you can do it annoymously). If that's an issue for you or you think it might become an issue for her later on you'll need to discuss your options for that. I know when I called for our homebirth packet they were very clear on who goes where in "the event the midwife doesn't make it". Even a babysitter would be listed if there was anyone other than the mother and father present (obviously minor children wouldn't count in that).

As for your questions:
1. it's up to you. The thing about doing it UP is YOU decide what you need for whatever may or may not be an issue. It's about taking responsibility for your care. For some that might mean not doing anything unti they absolutely need it and for others it might mean taking a preventative medicine approach. It's all what you feel comfy doing.

2. I think it's normal for everyone to have that paranoia. There are a few things you can do to determine twins (listening for two heartbeats, feeling for the baby(ies), getting an ultrasound) and belly mapping for breech (and position switchers if thats the case....or as a preventative practice). Laura Shanley had a surprise breech. I know she has stories of surprise twins as well. If it were me, I'd want to know if it were twins but only from a safe zone standpoint. There is/can be a difference between a 36 week singleton and 36 week twins. I'd want to be prepared if need be for an early labour/birth and what that would mean for post partum care.

3. A UC is what you want it to be. Is your MIL going to be acting as an RN during your birth? From the sounds of it no. Therefore it's technically a uc. Don't get hung up on definitions though. UP/UC isn't about what qualifies but is about taking responsibility for everything and acting accordingly. So many of us have different definitions for what a UC is that really...it doesn't matter.

[VeezieTG]

thank you so much for all the info and support.

i am more amped about the pregnancy aspect of this right now and am still figuring out how to deliver. i feel great, tho, to be doing this alone. after all the grief i went through with health "care" professionals the last few months it feels nice to just take everything into my own hands and stop stressing myself out about the insurance and the tests and the everything else that i've been stressed out about and just relax and listen to my body for a while. i am not used to being like this while pregnant, so all the craziness has got to stop...

i haven't decided what we'll do about the birth. my bf is a wheelchair mechanic, and he is also like crazy scared of cp, since he deals with so many children with cp day to day. and he's worried about legalities. but we are straightening that all out. i just got off the phone with the health department and it actually seems pretty easy peasy to get the birth recorded, and no questions should come up for my mil and her role (or lack there of, *fingers crossed*) in the birth... but thats a while yet.

thanks again, everyone...